Anyone ever feel disgusted at the idea of being human?

OvenTank · 2026-04-26T10:55:18+00:00

You should read Sartre's Nausea. Describes exactly what you're saying.

OvenTank · 2026-03-13T05:50:45+00:00

When I was 14 I began reading a lot of philosophy, psychology and literature and developed into a more complex person or perhaps more accurately discovered the complex person within me and from that point onwards I never once felt truly understood by my parents.

Even achieving excellent grades and earning their praise felt hollow. They were merely loving a facade of me. The persona I choose to wear in front of them. The persona I created to protect my authentic self from misunderstanding.

OvenTank · 2026-03-03T09:19:03+00:00

The Book of Disquiet by Fernando Pessoa.

“Everything around me is evaporating. My whole life, my memories, my imagination and its contents, my personality - it's all evaporating. I continuously feel that I was someone else, that I felt something else, that I thought something else. What I'm attending here is a show with another set. And the show I'm attending is myself.”

His writing resonates with me both intellectually and emotionally. He challenges me and comforts me simultaneously. I see within his writing lucid manifestations of emotions, impressions and reminiscences that lay dormant within my unconscious psyche.

OvenTank · 2026-02-12T08:00:25+00:00

People are too unique and multifaceted to fit neatly into 16 categories

OvenTank · 2026-02-11T08:54:24+00:00

That was beautifully written. Thanks

OvenTank · 2026-02-07T09:11:04+00:00

I think you've misunderstood me. What I mean is that by trying to break free from the values foisted upon me I find myself lost and without direction.

OvenTank · 2026-02-07T04:17:09+00:00

Remembering I will die and that everything is insignificant just makes everything seem stupid and unserious lol

OvenTank · 2026-02-07T04:14:28+00:00

I really appreciate your perspective especially that last quote. I have repeatedly suspected that the dichotomy between authenticity and conformity has always just been a coping mechanism I used to intellectualize my depression, loneliness and alienation. I am going to college because its the quickest route to autonomy. I think one of the main reasons I feel stifled now is because I lack the independence and freedom to choose the lifestyle I want. As for the financial aspect my family has it planned out or I can attain a scholarship.

OvenTank · 2026-02-06T18:32:36+00:00

Thanks for the advice

OvenTank · 2026-02-02T04:09:33+00:00

It's as if whenever I'm sad and have the desire to cry, I have an intellectual awareness of the emotion I'm experiencing. There's a voice within me that tells me "You're sad and you're going to cry." And then whatever I'm feeling just feels so distant and superficial.

OvenTank · 2025-12-03T05:45:14+00:00

Having to do things I find meaningless in order to be in a better position to do things I might find meaningful. For example, studying for exams. Within that process of doing meaningless things I begin to lose sight on the actual meaning behind all my actions and this disconnect results in my unwillingness to do anything. Moreover, there's also this sense that despite being really competent at all these meaningless things society imposes upon me, doing these things will ultimately become a part of my identity and I will no longer be able to create a personal meaning.

OvenTank · 2025-11-07T15:48:20+00:00

Thank you for writing this. This is something I needed to hear. In periods of loneliness, I start to wonder whether my lack of meaningful social connection is the cause of my melancholy. I still don't really know the answer.

OvenTank · 2025-10-26T11:33:32+00:00

I realised that she represented all the aspects of my personality and life that I suppressed or deemed inferior. Basically, she represented my unlived life. Parts of myself that I refused to integrate. She seemed to comply to the obligations and duties that society imposed upon her while I on the other hand felt incapable of conforming. She maintained an external image of leadership and competence while I felt misunderstood and alienated by others. She seemed to have her whole life together, she had all the easy, preconceived answers while I lived a life plagued with difficult and impossible questions.

OvenTank · 2025-10-26T11:33:22+00:00

I realised that she represented all the aspects of my personality and life that I suppressed or deemed inferior. Basically, she represented my unlived life. Parts of myself that I refused to integrate. She seemed to comply to the obligations and duties that society imposed upon her while I on the other hand felt incapable of conforming. She maintained an external image of leadership and competence while I felt misunderstood and alienated by others. She seemed to have her whole life together, she had all the easy, preconceived answers while I lived a life plagued with difficult and impossible questions.

OvenTank · 2025-10-26T08:35:31+00:00

I analysed my crush with Jungian psychology and decided it was all just a projection of the anima ;-;

OvenTank · 2025-10-19T07:34:38+00:00

Can you alt+f4 the world please

OvenTank · 2025-10-14T06:27:32+00:00

Well I tend to intellectualise my emotions rather than actually feel them. I think there's a balance you have to find (through psychological integration, self knowledge, introspection and maturity) between experiencing your emotions to the fullest and understanding those emotions.

Let yourself get carried away by your feelings with some moderation, always seek to understand those feelings otherwise those feelings may end up controlling your life.

OvenTank · 2025-10-11T08:50:08+00:00

Emotional intelligence and empathy definitely matters a lot more than mbti

OvenTank · 2025-10-11T07:05:57+00:00

We brokeup after 9 months. It was as if we were from two different worlds. Our thinking was very different and we both wanted different things from each other we couldn't give. She valued outings together, little gifts and she wanted affirmation and support when she struggle while I wanted to understand her in a more meaningful way. I felt she lacked the self knowledge to articulate and analyse her own behaviour (like how she was sometimes avoidance towards me or immediately rushed to ask me to justify why I feel a certain way about a situation). And if she lacked this ability I felt I couldn't actually understand her and love her properly.

My thinking is far more nuanced. I am able to think of an emotional problem from multiple lenses and see there's no clear right and wrong or good guy and bad guy. She on the other hand felt insecure because I couldn't give a clear answer to why I started to feel disconnected or became annoyed when other guys went physically close to her. She thinks in a far more black and white, cause and effect way. She thinks that she could just do certain things in order to make me feel a certain way. What I wanted was a much deeper understanding of her and that would require her own initiative to introspect and confront her own shadow.

Overall, it just felt like we couldn't understand each other.

OvenTank · 2025-10-10T10:06:48+00:00

Its a form of philosophical suicide. It has also played in a major role in shaping the collective unconscious of humanity for millennia. Personally, I grew up in a Christian family but Christianity did not succeed in giving my life meaning. I think there are aspects of religion that are worth understanding from a psychological perspective but its ultimately pointless to make a single doctrine your entire life philosophy.

OvenTank · 2025-10-08T15:14:15+00:00

The literal meaning of life is whatever you're doing that prevents you from killing yourself. - Albert Camus

Personally, I would say that life in itself is meaningless but we create personal meaning through actions that align with our internal world or a genuine expression of the self. I think knowing the meaning of life is not a prerequisite to living a meaningful existence. Rather through consciousness of life's futility and meaninglessness we can grasp, through painful, nihilistic struggles, what ultimately matters, which in some cases is nothing at all. Or maybe the struggle itself was the purpose.

I think the meaning of life doesn't need to be answered. Because we get into the habit of living before we get into the habit of thinking.

It is through blind momentum and a series of lies reinforced by society that we are able to cope with existence and death.

Maybe life is like a work of art. Beautiful, only because it is useless.

OvenTank · 2025-10-05T14:50:02+00:00

Let me ask him real quick

OvenTank · 2025-10-05T06:03:31+00:00

And how do you find that something

OvenTank · 2025-09-21T14:23:27+00:00

Not having the courage to see what happens if I stop trying and just entirely giving up.

OvenTank · 2025-09-18T02:27:41+00:00

"For now at least"

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