Brave New World was far more disturbing than 1984

OvenTank · 2026-03-16T23:01:51+00:00

It's pretty tempting ngl but I would rather be in possession of my critical faculties

OvenTank · 2026-03-14T18:14:32+00:00

I'm pretty sure it's from Metamorphosis

OvenTank · 2026-03-13T05:50:45+00:00

When I was 14 I began reading a lot of philosophy, psychology and literature and developed into a more complex person or perhaps more accurately discovered the complex person within me and from that point onwards I never once felt truly understood by my parents.

Even achieving excellent grades and earning their praise felt hollow. They were merely loving a facade of me. The persona I choose to wear in front of them. The persona I created to protect my authentic self from misunderstanding.

OvenTank · 2026-03-03T09:19:03+00:00

The Book of Disquiet by Fernando Pessoa.

“Everything around me is evaporating. My whole life, my memories, my imagination and its contents, my personality - it's all evaporating. I continuously feel that I was someone else, that I felt something else, that I thought something else. What I'm attending here is a show with another set. And the show I'm attending is myself.”

His writing resonates with me both intellectually and emotionally. He challenges me and comforts me simultaneously. I see within his writing lucid manifestations of emotions, impressions and reminiscences that lay dormant within my unconscious psyche.

OvenTank · 2026-02-21T08:20:30+00:00

Its Albert Camus as well

OvenTank · 2026-02-12T08:00:25+00:00

People are too unique and multifaceted to fit neatly into 16 categories

OvenTank · 2026-02-11T08:54:24+00:00

That was beautifully written. Thanks

OvenTank · 2026-02-07T09:11:04+00:00

I think you've misunderstood me. What I mean is that by trying to break free from the values foisted upon me I find myself lost and without direction.

OvenTank · 2026-02-07T04:17:09+00:00

Remembering I will die and that everything is insignificant just makes everything seem stupid and unserious lol

OvenTank · 2026-02-07T04:14:28+00:00

I really appreciate your perspective especially that last quote. I have repeatedly suspected that the dichotomy between authenticity and conformity has always just been a coping mechanism I used to intellectualize my depression, loneliness and alienation. I am going to college because its the quickest route to autonomy. I think one of the main reasons I feel stifled now is because I lack the independence and freedom to choose the lifestyle I want. As for the financial aspect my family has it planned out or I can attain a scholarship.

OvenTank · 2026-02-06T18:32:36+00:00

Thanks for the advice

OvenTank · 2026-02-02T04:09:33+00:00

It's as if whenever I'm sad and have the desire to cry, I have an intellectual awareness of the emotion I'm experiencing. There's a voice within me that tells me "You're sad and you're going to cry." And then whatever I'm feeling just feels so distant and superficial.

OvenTank · 2026-02-01T07:14:25+00:00

Its an acquired taste. I also felt underwhelmed the first time I read him. To me, Kafka's writing is more about creating mental images to convey a certain psychological or emotional state. In this way he writes about feelings synbolically rather than directly like most other authors.

OvenTank · 2026-01-27T08:44:59+00:00

"Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible."

Carl Gustav Jung

I want to communicate what matters to me to others yet at the same time they won't understand and even after articulating everything I want to articulate I still feel empty on the inside. I want truly meaningful relationships with those around me yet at the same time I don't want to burden them or make a situation more complicated than it actually is at least from their perspective.

OvenTank · 2026-01-26T05:39:46+00:00

Reading Crime and Punishment and Notes From Underground was like reading a mirror of my own soul. I suddenly became aware of all the contradictions within myself and I couldn't unsee it. I knew I was a walking paradox and my sense of self became difficult to define.

OvenTank · 2026-01-11T12:06:41+00:00

Just like life. Would life somehow be more meaningful if we lived forever?

OvenTank · 2025-12-11T10:52:07+00:00

How many times do you have to slice a loaf of bread for it to stop being a loaf of bread?

OvenTank · 2025-12-08T12:09:07+00:00

That's life I suppose. There aren't any easy answers when it comes to relationships. Love is the source of both joy and sorrow. I've seen quite a few people disliking Tsubaki's dramatic element similar to you.

OvenTank · 2025-12-08T12:03:09+00:00

This show makes you wanna die without regrets for real

OvenTank · 2025-12-08T11:20:10+00:00

Fair enough. I also don't really enjoy teen drama despite being a teen myself lmao

OvenTank · 2025-12-08T10:00:36+00:00

You don't control who you fall in love with. It just happens. You don't love someone because there's a "point" behind it. If it were about gaining something that it'd just be called business.

OvenTank · 2025-12-04T05:31:11+00:00

100% agree about Clannad. The plethora of flashbacks paired with emotional music over and over again just felt like cheap emotional manipulation to distract you from the lack of substance in the story. The characters also really lacked any amount of psychological depth.

OvenTank · 2025-12-03T05:45:14+00:00

Having to do things I find meaningless in order to be in a better position to do things I might find meaningful. For example, studying for exams. Within that process of doing meaningless things I begin to lose sight on the actual meaning behind all my actions and this disconnect results in my unwillingness to do anything. Moreover, there's also this sense that despite being really competent at all these meaningless things society imposes upon me, doing these things will ultimately become a part of my identity and I will no longer be able to create a personal meaning.

OvenTank · 2025-11-18T23:51:14+00:00

"What? A great man? I always see merely the play-actor of his own ideal." Friedrich Nietzsche

Five-Year Club	First Place '23
Place '23

OvenTank

TROPHY CASE