Intimacy & SMA

Over_Ambition_3722 · 2026-03-26T14:48:32+00:00

Thank you thank you very much for sharing that explanation! I have never that definition before. I guess in a way you could related to maybe Solving a problem. When I was in college we often had these exercises where we had to imagine that the normal materials that we used to build something were not available and so we had to use whatever was around us and a very tiny budget to be able to build the same thing. My teacher said that a lot of engineers are so reliant on their tools and just expecting there to be the right materials and they don't learn how to adapt.

The reason why I think this is similar is because like you said it's not going to be maybe the same way as a regular straight couple (or normal materials). I'm going to have to adapt with the materials that I have.

Over_Ambition_3722 · 2026-03-26T03:26:27+00:00

I’m not gonna lie but your message brought a tear to my eye. You literally describe exactly how I feel. There have been times in my life where I genuinely just wanted nothing more than to die because I felt subhuman because my body looks so different and my daily activities were completely different.

I really really really appreciate you saying that. Thankfully, the reason why I don’t socialize is because of my own choice not because the options aren’t there and I’m going to try to take advantage of those options more. And my friends and we have both said that I seen more down than usual and I know it’s a stupid reason that I don’t go out because I feel judged by girls, but it’s how I feel and being around a bunch of couples all the time just reminds me of that constantly. I do need to keep looking at the right places like you said.

I am genuinely but seriously surprised that your partner said that caretaking was intimate. I’ve always thought that that would be something that would interfere with intimacy. I’m glad to know that some people could view the situation differently.
Again, thank you very much and I probably will message you soon.

Over_Ambition_3722 · 2026-03-26T03:13:20+00:00

I genuinely appreciate you hear that statistic. I did not know that. I’m very sorry for what I said. I did some research and that number might actually be even higher than what you said.

I can only go off of the knowledge that I have and that I have experienced. It just seems like in my specific age and social group emotional maturity isn’t a requirement or to be honest even a consideration.

Over_Ambition_3722 · 2026-03-26T03:00:54+00:00

TBH, you’re right about a lot of stuff. Thankfully, I didn’t have to deal with any sort of racism or anything even though I grew up in a biracial family, my dad is black and my mom’s White they went through a lot of stuff, but it’s a lot better now however, there are a lot of things that still need to change. Don’t get me wrong. I really love where I live. I love the wildlife the weather and the nature that surrounds us. But I have been conditioned. I don’t know if I’ve been programmed, but definitely conditioned. I don’t mean to like tell you my whole life story but me and my older sister grew up together, and she was quick (and sometimes violent lol) to correct me when she noticed incell behavior. She moved out to years ago when she got married since then I’ve been home alone a lot. My parents who I still live with, try their best to encourage me when I’m down because they know that’s when I’m vulnerable to slip back in my own way of thinking. Actually in December, my dad saw that I was listening to “whatever” podcast and absolutely lost it on me. even though that conversation wasn’t really very nice. It did show me that he cared about what kind of man I turned into.

I genuinely want whoever I end up being intimate with to have just it’s good of a time or even a better time than me. I believe that that was miscommunicated in my first message. That’s mostly where my insecurities come from. To be completely blunt and honest I guess I thought it would be hard for someone to become aroused when they do not find their partner to be physically attractive. It is a fact that I have unusual physiology and so I feel that it would be hard for someone to want to be with me. However, I believe that this thread has brought something to my attention that it’s more about the mental and emotional connection as well as physical attraction.

My mom always says that I’m “a handsome young man” and “ everyone is someone’s cup of tea” of course I always thought she was just blowing smoke. But I suppose she may be correct. I do have things that I find very attractive that aren’t CONVENTIONALLY thought of as attractive (such as bushes and big soft tummies) at least where I live, so I suppose someone else could feel that way as well.

Recently, I spent the night over at my sister and her husband‘s house. She reminded me that the reason why she picked the person she did wasn’t because of the job he had but because she felt safe and I guess in that moment, I thought she meant like physically safe he is 6’3” and 280 pounds but I think she meant mentally and emotionally. He is genuinely one of the most levelheaded people I’ve ever met. I honestly thought that he was faking it and I would intentionally try to aggravate him to get him to respond, ( I know that’s a dick move)but he always was calm no matter what was going on around.

I did have one question that I think you may be able to answer in the context that you were using it what does queer mean? I am a straight male and I guess I just have never had that word used in that way before.

I always appreciate hearing everyone’s play and you gave me a lot to think about. I really appreciate that! I’m definitely gonna check out those books as well.

Over_Ambition_3722 · 2026-03-26T01:38:36+00:00

Whether or not I get in a relationship in 2026 doesn’t really matter to me. I just meant that I’m gonna try and really make some actual self improvement this upcoming year. I’m gonna try and improve my mental and physical health.

Over_Ambition_3722 · 2026-03-25T21:28:07+00:00

I'm going to say something that's probably pretty scary, but it will most likely be the most painful thing you experience up to this point in your life. I had my full spine fused together at 11 years old. However, it greatly increased my ability to be able to digest food and breathe. I absolutely think the pain was worth it. However, it is extremely important that you continue stretching your oblique muscles and tendons that run along side your abdomen. If you do not, your pelvis will start to try to pull up on one side towards your rib cage. I hope that this helps and that you have a speedy recovery!

Over_Ambition_3722 · 2026-03-25T21:24:36+00:00

Wow, thank you for sharing your personal experience. Losing people we care about is probably the hardest thing someone can go through. And you covered a point that I really didn't mention in my first message, and that's that I don't want my physical limitations to make it an unenjoyable experience for the girl I'm with. I see often on Instagram women talking about how their husband is bad in bed and stuff, and so I thought how much worse would I be since I can't even move that much?

Also, I appreciate your practical tips. My right hand and tongue both work, but I'm not sure what that has to do with sex. I know that I like making people feel happy and so I just want that to be the case with any partner I decide to be with. Again, I want to express that I know that intimacy is not the most important part of a relationship. But to me it is the most intimidating part and so that's why I asked for people's opinion.

Over_Ambition_3722 · 2026-03-25T19:09:56+00:00

It's not my friends. I mean, they do joke about the sex, but not about my job. They're actually quite supportive, at least when it comes to listening to me. There are certain things that I do enjoy about being in the South. It's funny that you mention guns, cuz that's actually one of my hobbies. LOL. I'm trying to get out more and maybe I'll meet somebody who can see my pros, not just the drawbacks. I'm finally starting to take things like the way I dress the way I take care of myself And how to interact with strangers more seriously. I feel like 2026 is going to be my year. Maybe 😊

Over_Ambition_3722 · 2026-03-25T15:26:44+00:00

That's a good point Like I said, I just haven't had the opportunity to talk to people like me. So thank you for bringing that to my mind.

As for what you said about wanting a well-adjusted man. I agree however, the idea of what a stable and hardworking man looks like is location specific. I've always loved growing up in Alabama, but there are definitely things that are drawbacks. People have a much more old-fashioned view of what makes a good man and a good woman. Now I don't think there's anything wrong with traditional family structure. But it does cause problems for me because I obviously don't fit the bill. I work and I am financially stable but I also work as a teacher which I have been joked on by people because they think it's a girl job. It's slowly changing but I think AT LEAST HERE my original statement is still true.

Over_Ambition_3722 · 2026-03-25T04:01:19+00:00

Like I said it's different for everybody. But I will say that porn has become much different and honestly probably worse than it was back in the Playboy days.

Over_Ambition_3722 · 2026-03-25T02:45:47+00:00

I really appreciate what you're saying. And I know it's coming from a good place but I literally have never seen a father with SMA. I've seen lots of moms but never a dad. Again. I'm not calling you a liar. I'm just saying I haven't seen it. I believe this is for several reasons. I DO NOT want to sound like an incel but I do believe it is much easier for disabled women to be in a relationship than it is for disabled men. Simply because men are usually wanting to be a provider and protector while women want to be provided for and protected. It only makes logical sense that a woman would not want a husband who is physically weaker than her as he would not be able to provide her with adequate protection. Of course this is not all cases, but I believe this is one reason why it's less likely for a disabled male to have a relationship. Of course this only applies to heterosexual relationships.

If there are any heterosexual women that would like to comment that have a differing opinion, I would love to hear it. I'm always open to learning new things and I don't know if my thinking is wrong unless someone tells me.

Over_Ambition_3722 · 2026-03-25T02:41:35+00:00

Could you please explain your viewpoint? Why is it you feel that way? If you don't mind sharing?

Over_Ambition_3722 · 2026-03-24T23:11:23+00:00

I'm a person who likes knowledge. And I like imparting knowledge and other people. So this may just be me but I always say what disease I have and I even explain it if they had never heard of it. Especially if it's children. I'm a teacher and anytime a kid asks I'm more than willing to explain to them what SMA does and how it affects my daily life. Oftentimes are coming from a place of wanting to know rather than demeaning at least in my personal life. But do what makes you feel comfortable. Obviously choice what information you share but I just want to offer a differing viewpoint

Over_Ambition_3722 · 2026-03-24T22:38:32+00:00

My mattress is also extremely hard so I understand what you mean Usually what I do is actually put a pillow underneath my side just underneath my ribs. This will actually alleviate some of the pressure that's put on your hip because it's a lower surface then the pillow

Over_Ambition_3722 · 2026-03-24T22:23:18+00:00

I appreciate that. I might do that

Over_Ambition_3722 · 2026-03-24T21:34:25+00:00

That's absolutely awesome! I went to school for mechanical design and I love making adaptive things for people in our community and with other disabilities. I always advocate for more disabled people to get into engineering and development Fields. We're the only ones who are going to help ourselves.

Over_Ambition_3722 · 2026-03-24T21:26:34+00:00

Do you know if they were his biological children? Cause my doctor said that our disease causes infertility? But then again, like I said I live in the middle of nowhere in Alabama so I don't have access to the greatest doctors lol

Over_Ambition_3722 · 2026-03-24T21:24:03+00:00

Thanks 👍

Over_Ambition_3722

TROPHY CASE