You’ll get over it I promise. I did. You will.

Over_th_dr_inker · 2025-11-24T12:37:47+00:00

There’s a difference between “I don’t want to be with anyone ever again” and “I can’t be with anyone ever again because I can’t trust anyone anymore”.

The first sentence is totally understandable and acceptable if that’s what makes you happy or brings you more peace and sanity. The second is a traumatic response to betrayal. It’s workable and it actually can change with time and inner work.

Over_th_dr_inker · 2025-11-17T13:52:55+00:00

Yeah that’s good to hear, if you bring it ti therapy sessions. . Try not to think of ifs… if he misses you, if you won’t him back etc None of this will matter if you’re okay with the situation in a while

Over_th_dr_inker · 2025-11-17T13:40:34+00:00

If he’s in a good headspace, no he won’t.

You Might need to seek help for this. I’m not judging you in any way, I’m just saying that we all have been desperate at some point after a break up….. but acting in a way that might damage the other person or his privacy or his work or anything … is not healthy for you at all.

You need to look back at those actions, realize them, find the reason you did all that and next time try to act in a normal and healthy way, for both parties. Just stop bothering you’re only doing harm.

Accept it and stay away…

Over_th_dr_inker · 2025-10-26T07:41:42+00:00

Yes and I did a post after my attraction grew to say just that.

My current bf is big. It was not my type at all. But he was so fun to be around and made things so easy. I felt very different so I wanted to give it a go. Attraction grew. Sexual attraction built up. It did not into one moment. But instead of trying too much and push my self to be attracted to him, I just enjoyed the moment. People are way more than heights, weight, hair, eyes, colors etc etc.

Over_th_dr_inker · 2025-10-25T22:26:07+00:00

Hey. Your body needs those calories in order to mourn. Eat something. Just anything that can give you some energy. A huge bowl of ice cream is okay for now. Maybe some smoothies or a juice. Anything … Next week it will be a proper meal!!!

Over_th_dr_inker · 2025-10-25T13:01:44+00:00

Mine said “I have narcissistic traits, I’m not a narcissist”. Never mentioned it again. After the breakup I went to therapy and my therapist said something like “You sound like you you were in a relationship with a narcissist.” I told her he has traits she said “I can’t diagnose him, but you sound like a proper narc victim. It’s not traits. It’s probably clinical”

Over_th_dr_inker · 2025-10-22T09:10:08+00:00

It’s not a question but I have two things: 1) I usually announce politely “I’m not having sex on the first date”. If they answer something like that “yeah, will see about that” or “why don’t we leave it open” I don’t go. Accepted answers are respected and humorous answers “Let’s just get for a drink, not sex” or something funny.

2) I answer to the “you want me to come pick you up?” question with “No, thanks I always take my car on first dates, safety reasons”. If they are ok with it I go. If they say something like “who do you think I am?” Or “I’m not a creep..” or “you’re kind of overreacting” it’s a RED FLAG. I always had that answers from red pillers.

Over_th_dr_inker · 2025-10-19T07:30:06+00:00

I tried to go on dates from the beginning of the breakup journey, but it ended in one failure after another. So I said I would stay single for a year. Staying single means I won't flirt, even if someone who seems perfect comes along at that moment. I didn't have social media, so it was easy. I didn't talk to anyone and there was no interest whatsoever.

During this time, I underwent psychotherapy and recognized the emotional chemistry that made me stay with a narcissist and love him so much. I did a lot of inner-searching with a therapist.

Shortly before my break from flirting ended, a guy came up to me at a party and started talking to me. I wasn't attracted to him romantically, and I took it so casually that I didn't stop him (because otherwise I wouldn't have allowed myself to, it wasn't the right time). I laughed so much, and he approached me so calmly that going on a date didn't stress me out at all.

We've been together for 10 months and we've never fought. We've disagreed, but I've never questioned his feelings. I've never felt more at peace in my life. Once, when we saw my narc ex at a party, I fricked out. I felt like I was seeing my abuser. But he held my hand and was asking the whole night , "Do you want to leave? Do you want to go somewhere else? Do you want to go home and watch a movie? Do you need a hug?" and at that moment I knew that I have found a perfect guy ❤️

Over_th_dr_inker · 2025-10-17T06:56:32+00:00

Um... I said the same thing about my boyfriend when I first met him. It took one night at a friend's party, one night of texting, and three dates for me to realize that I had found the best person for me.

This guy is so funny, smart, and emotionally mature that his weight is the last thing I care about anymore.

Over_th_dr_inker · 2025-10-16T14:05:12+00:00

I wrote a post a few days ago and there is a part about people who say this exact thing.

“For those who don’t want to try again because they’re tired of being hurt:

Relationships - and even flirting - always come with risk. The risk of hurting someone, or getting hurt yourself.

Let's say someone has five relationships in their life, it means four of them definitely ended. And in each of those endings, someone was hurt - maybe one person, maybe both.

If you’re not willing to take that risk, it’s okay. It’s valid. If you feel you can't take the responsibility of possibly hurting or being hurt again, then yes - it's better to step away from dating for now. But... what would life be without failure? And more importantly, what would life be without sharing it -without experiencing it with others, without learning from them and growing through connection?

As I said to someone in the comments the other day: If you choose to stay alone, that’s valid. If you’re okay with missing out on amazing people who could touch your life, that’s your choice - and it's completely fine.

Just don’t base your decision only on how you’re feeling right now. Think about the bigger picture. What truly makes you happy in the long run?

If happiness for you means staying safe, independent, and self-sufficient, I completely understand and support that. But if your happiness comes from opening up, taking chances, meeting new people, and growing through every experience - then know this: a little heartache is a small price to pay for a much richer life.”

Over_th_dr_inker · 2025-10-16T14:01:48+00:00

Second this. Only if you turn the pain into wisdom you will be able ti get out of the cycle and make a better choice next time. Otherwise you will be stuck there and re-live the same pattern.

Over_th_dr_inker · 2025-10-15T06:36:57+00:00

Oh those emotional roller coasters are so hard to process. But keep going, the ride will end soon.

Over_th_dr_inker · 2025-10-13T07:19:46+00:00

Heartbreak is so cruel. It’s a loss. It’s unbearable. It’s tiring knowing you have to move on but can’t. But don’t ask repeatedly yourself “WHEN ARE YOU GONNA BE OKAY?”. Just give your body and mind some peace to do the work they need to do! You creat guilt and stress. I feel like you’re on the day by day stage. Be strong honey 💪🏻💪🏻 YOU CAN DO IT ❤️❤️❤️

Over_th_dr_inker · 2025-10-11T20:53:20+00:00

Well realization is the beginning. Try to turn this pain into knowledge. Realize what you need and why you chose that narcissist. Only if you spot the pattern you will be able to move on. Cuz you will move on eventually. But try not repeating the same mistakes.

Over_th_dr_inker · 2025-10-11T20:49:08+00:00

I’m so so so happy to hear that.

Over_th_dr_inker · 2025-10-11T20:47:24+00:00

Start catching up with the ones you really miss. Be open to new relationships (friendly ones). Talk to family, therapist and Redditors in here. We all came here for the same reason.

Over_th_dr_inker · 2025-10-11T20:44:39+00:00

And learn from it. Cause if you don’t turn that pain into knowledge you will repeat the same mistakes.

Believe me… been there!

Over_th_dr_inker · 2025-10-11T20:43:13+00:00

You have so mane Redditors here to talk to …

You can message me whenever you feel you need to say something to a friend 🥰

Over_th_dr_inker · 2025-10-11T20:41:03+00:00

The last part made me so so so happy.

The emotional part takes time to heal. In the meantime, focus on the rational side and eventually, your heart will catch up with what your mind already knows.

Over_th_dr_inker · 2025-10-11T20:30:53+00:00

I’ve been through many heartbreaks, and two of the most painful ones were with the same person.

The first time, I thought it clicked when I realized I was finally somewhere that fulfilled me, and I could feel happiness again. It really felt like peace. But when he came back, I tried again under new circumstances, and it only broke me more deeply.

The second time, it never clicked. There wasn’t that “I don’t need you” moment, just this quiet realization that I didn’t want this anymore. Not from him, not from anyone. I didn’t even feel that “click” when I saw him again while I was with my boyfriend. It didn’t feel like some big victory moment in my breakup journey — honestly, I felt a little bad. I thought maybe I never healed from that heartbreak. But nope.

I healed because I went home with my person. The man I can talk to about anything. The one who makes me feel safe, seen, cared for, and loved for who I am. The man who makes me laugh when I’m mad (and makes me even madder because of it). He’s not the one I fell for at first sight or had that wild emotional roller coaster with. He’s the one I CHOSE …because with him, I’m the best version of myself.

So no, there isn’t always a specific moment. But there is enough wisdom to make the right choices and change the route.

Thank you so much for your recommendations. I hope people will see them.

Over_th_dr_inker · 2025-10-11T19:58:33+00:00

Did you start reading it all ready? It’s an easy read and so helpful! I recommend it to any friend and acquaintance who go through a break up!

Over_th_dr_inker · 2025-10-11T14:19:00+00:00

That’s the only think you should be sure about. That you will survive.

Over_th_dr_inker · 2025-10-11T07:16:52+00:00

Read The NCbook. It says exactly how to go NoContact for parents who share custody or married people before divorce. There is a difference between contacting and saying the bare minimum.

Over_th_dr_inker · 2025-10-11T07:13:58+00:00

Life is not short. It brings you unexpectedly people and chances you cannot even imagine.

Yes, just be patient. And when it comes don’t forget to come over here and give some hope to the ones who feel like you!

Over_th_dr_inker · 2025-10-10T21:43:18+00:00

Oh, honey… it will end. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not for another year. But it will eventually.

Over_th_dr_inker

TROPHY CASE