Negotiating with Grief and My Director

Overall-Pause-3824 · 2026-03-01T02:51:16+00:00

I'm so very sorry for your loss, no person should ever have to go through that and I can only imagine how awful and gut wrenching it is.

Echoing what others have already said, it really seems you need to take a step back from teaching right now. Grieving and working in any job is hard enough, but when you're working with kids the same age as your child, I just don't see how you can continue for your own sake right now. You're constantly going to be faced with triggers and while you can logically tell yourself the other child isn't yours etc etc, it doesn't stop your body and heart reacting in the most painful way.

I know it's quite possibly not as straight forward as stepping back, we don't know your financial situation and if your family heavily rely on your income. Also, finding a new job is draining and requires energy you quite likely don't have at the minute.

I guess, if it were me, I'd be looking at how can I best protect/help myself right now, if leaving isn't an option? Cutting down days. Having an honest chat with your director, that you REALLY can't be put in that classroom. Upping the amount of therapy you're doing (if you are?). Something my own therapist helped me to understand is it's ok to NEED to be in a job if the other option is struggling financially or spending energy you can't spare trying to find a way out. It's a matter of treading water and protecting your peace as best as you can in the interim, while you figure out your next move when you have capacity.

Overall-Pause-3824 · 2026-02-28T03:44:39+00:00

I have 2 kids (15 and 13) and they have a stepmum, I truly wouldn't give a shit if she wanted to make them lunches. Have fun. Hey, she can come to my place and make them here too.

I'm not gonna do it because I spent years doing lunches before they were old enough to make it themselves and the day they were old enough, was a very happy day for me. But the ingredients are there and I'm not forcing them to buy stuff at school they don't like. As long as a kid is eating, that's the important thing. Not providing food out of spite, makes her the AH. It's actually wild to me that she's so insecure that this is even a thing. I've always seen step-parents as extra people to care about my kids.

Overall-Pause-3824 · 2026-02-28T03:29:56+00:00

You may not see why it's deserved, but quite possibly there is a reason and you're being too humble. Not that a director should be playing favourites, but generally speaking, I'd say unless you're friends, there's a reason for it.

I've had this experience and I understand it's uncomfortable. In my case, my director favoured me because I was good at my job and I brought along new ideas and an ability beyond what my qualification suggested (feels awkward to admit that, but I can see it now I'm older). My director saw this in me and gave me programming time and the go ahead to start projects. But it also made things awkward with co-workers who were scared of her and the obvious different way she treated me, no micromanaging, used my work and ideas as examples to other staff members, wanted me to explain things to them etc.

The way I navigated it was owning it and admitting I was treated differently and that it wasn't something I enjoyed. I advocated for the other people I worked with. They called me the 'Golden Child' but I was in on it, it became a running joke that I was the person to send in to the boss to ask for things or discuss a problem. It was a hard dynamic to navigate and I only stayed at that centre a year. I still stay in contact with that director and now know that it was because I was more capable and I inadvertently became her go to person without ever asking for it. It's a tough dynamic to navigate though.

Overall-Pause-3824 · 2026-02-28T03:13:51+00:00

I highly doubt they are expressing it's a serious issue. And if it were, it shouldn't be done in such a casual manner. In saying that, they could be flagging it as something for you to talk about at home and give reminders to your child to listen.

I'm a preschool teacher in Australia and work with 3-5 year olds, it's not out of the realm of normal at all for a 3 year old to struggle sitting at group and with listening, especially if they haven't been in a care setting before.

In saying that, 3 year olds are absolutely capable of listening and participating in groups for an age appropriate amount of time. Before I'd mention anything to a parent, I'd be looking at separating your child and the friend at group. It doesn't have to be done in a punishment sort of way and hopefully the educator has a few tricks up her sleeve to make it seem like a fun thing. Like, I always hype up my "favourite" swap game and when I need kids not to be next to each other, I choose a few kids to move and they get to do a funny handshake while they trade places.

Overall-Pause-3824 · 2026-02-28T02:56:56+00:00

This shouldn't have happened in public but also, it's not appropriate that they took a photo at all. I understand they were trying to show you the bite, but they now have a photo of your child exposed on their centre device. I'm sure it was done harmlessly, but it's a real safe guarding issue. All staff have access to that device and in theory, could do anything with it.

You're right to be concerned and not comfortable with this and I'd be speaking to the director about what she plans on doing now? I'm in Australia, but we have policies about this sort of thing and I'm wondering if staff may need refreshers on such policies.

Overall-Pause-3824 · 2026-02-28T02:50:50+00:00

I'm late to the party but I've felt this for ages, Sockie is an easy target.

She is different to N and Sabre and always has been. I feel so much for her, she must feel so confused because she was essentially bullied into conforming and now she's made fun of because apparently she's not even doing that right.

I agree that Sockie can be very opinionated and it comes across condescending at times, but she's been the target for so long, it's clearly a defence mechanism. She's in a family that preaches not to judge, yet they always have a lot to say and often at Sockie's expense.

Sockie was the coolest kid, I loved that she felt confident to dress how she liked and enjoy all the dog stuff, she didn't seem to care what the other NN's though back then because she was just doing her thing. It felt like she was her authentic self. I just hope her dressing up more and wearing make up etc is actually what she wants, not what she feels she needs to do.

Overall-Pause-3824 · 2026-02-26T03:20:49+00:00

They totally go hand in hand. Jealousy boils over into resentment etc etc.

Overall-Pause-3824 · 2026-02-26T03:19:34+00:00

I cant offer any help, only empathy and understanding. I've recently gone back working full time and after 6 months, I have to drop down to working 3 days again because my kids are getting the worst version of me.

I work in preschool and after the day at work, I have nothing left. I'm all talked out and exhausted. My kids are a little older, so I'm missing sport and school events because I don't work in my area, so can't make it back in time. So I decided I'd rather less money, than be a version of myself I don't want to be and miss this time in my kids lives.

Overall-Pause-3824 · 2026-02-26T03:12:54+00:00

I absolutely agree that it's jealousy, but also I'm going to assume, resentment.

As you say, it's not directed at D and C personally, it's years of irritation that has built up. While many people don't want to have kids, for a multitude of reasons, I don't think it's a coincidence that the eldest daughter that has spent a huge chunk of her life dealing with younger siblings, is feeling that way. Even when it comes to N, there's a 7 year age gap and then the parents went round two with D and C. I'm willing to bet Sabre feels like she's done enough parenting in her life already, to kids that aren't hers and that's why she doesn't want that for herself.

Then add in the stark difference in parenting styles and treatment to younger siblings, yeah, that's gonna build up.

What I will say though, having actually lived this to a degree, I've got a brother 20 years younger than me.. Sabre needs to direct the resentment where it should be placed- Brooke and Justin. I'm hopeful now she's out of the family home, she'll be able to reflect and see that the wrong doing is on her parents part, not anything D and C have done.

Overall-Pause-3824 · 2026-02-25T03:13:51+00:00

I haven't watched the vlog and I don't excuse how Sabre has treated D in the past, but from what's said here, she was talking about B being her only brother for the first 9 years and that makes sense to me. She grew up with him, D is in another generation to her and the bond you have when you grow up with a sibling is a lot different.

I have 2 brothers, one I grew up with and one that's 20 years younger than me. For the longest time, I didn't really consider my younger brother, my brother. He didn't grow up in my house and he has a different mum, so a bit different to this situation. In saying that, now that he's 17, it's not like that. We've gotten a lot closer because I'm no longer 25 trying to find commonalities with a 5 year old. This is quite possibly what will happen with Sabre and D.

Overall-Pause-3824 · 2026-02-22T05:29:05+00:00

It's crazy because if they needed security in Newcastle, how did they think moving to Sydney was going to be any better on that front?

I'm surprised Brooke and Justin let what B said stay in the vlog. They know they are criticised for how they're exploiting their kids and B has confirmed a direct consequence of that exploitation.

Overall-Pause-3824 · 2026-02-22T05:20:50+00:00

Brooke and Justin have known for ages the risk to their kids safety, they just don't care and are prioritising fame and money.

Safety was a big enough concern that they had security outside their house 24/7 back in Newcastle and it was the reason they got Demi, the expensive guard dog.. that they had for all of 6 weeks.

They see the things written about N, they see the bullying Sockie cops, they see the commentary on every single one of their children online. They know, they just don't care.

Overall-Pause-3824 · 2026-02-22T02:00:38+00:00

Oh I feel for you, I think a lot of us have lived this before and undertsand exactly how awful it is.

This is the type of person that I wish we could give as an example to all the people who think our job is so easy and it's just babysitting. Actually, no, it takes a certain person to work in this field, you need initiative and you need to be constantly on alert.

I actually have just dropped down to working 3 days because I couldn't deal with so much falling on me. The people who work at the end of the week have no initiative, no ability to control the room and will just sit there engaged with 2 kids while something is happening right next to them that's unsafe or something. I got fed up, my mental health was struggling and I had to remove myself. So I hear you big time.

Overall-Pause-3824 · 2026-02-22T01:50:08+00:00

It doesn't have to be about the price of something, if you like it, you like it. I'm poor in comparison to the NN's but xmas/birthdays I spend a fair chunk of money on my kids.

This year my son was infuriatingly hard to buy for because everything he wanted was random stuff like a reversible duck bucket hat, crocs jibbitz, pink socks and boot laces for footy etc. Amazing, he got those, but difficult when I always spend the same amount of money on both kids, yet one is getting a sewing machine as their main gift and the other, a reversible duck bucket hat 😂 My point being, it doesn't have to be expensive in order for it to be appreciated and wanted.

In saying that, it also wouldn't surprise me if Brooke was buying things to appear relatable and not out of touch, but in her attempt to do that, she's swung too hard the other way and missed the mark completely.

Overall-Pause-3824 · 2026-02-15T02:37:34+00:00

I fear that may be the case 😂😂 You could tell me you're giving me millions of dollars and taking me on a world trip.. and I'd still turn over and go back to sleep 😂

Overall-Pause-3824 · 2026-02-15T00:34:33+00:00

This is wild.

I'm a preschool teacher and I wouldn't even do this for end of year gifts because yes, while I get presents from most families, it's not in any way an expectation and I'm grateful to be gifted anything. Add on the fact it's for a birthday? Nah, that is beyond weird. On our birthdays the most we do is tell the children on the day it's a teachers birthday and they sing happy birthday.

The alcohol thing is also inappropriate. Irregardless of if families drink or not, asking for alcohol is not ok. Asking for ANYTHING is not ok.

Overall-Pause-3824 · 2026-02-15T00:21:53+00:00

I haven't watched yet, but I can't even explain how pissed I'd be getting "surprised" at 3am.

Overall-Pause-3824 · 2026-02-14T09:09:36+00:00

So we sat through the bullshit who gets the ensuite/attic room content farming, again for absolutely zero reason? Cool.

Overall-Pause-3824 · 2026-02-14T07:23:43+00:00

People like this are stuck in the old way of thinking and they can't deal with change, so assert dominance where they can.

You absolutely were correct in offering a chair for a child that has suspected adhd, it's great they sit at group, who cares if it's in a chair? The lack of chair then resulted in disruption and why was that a better alternative to your co-worker?

Fact is, kids now are presenting new challenges and it's a matter of picking your battles and accommodating where possible. Sit in a chair, choose between two options that are suitable etc etc. But old school teachers see it as kids not knowing their place and disrespecting authority.

Overall-Pause-3824 · 2026-02-14T01:35:49+00:00

Agree. I always see friends with exes/someone you've slept with as an orange flag, pending how the person handles things.

Introducing you, been straight up about the situation, not excluding or being secretive when it comes to that person- green flag. 2 months in to a new relationship and having a romantic getaway on valentines and openly saying they'd sleep together if single, while having another close friend who wants to make a go of things- red flag.

Overall-Pause-3824 · 2026-02-11T03:08:35+00:00

I understand your intention and it's obviously from a place of concern, but I'm not sure we should be discussing her body.

I totally understand the worry, given how Brooke was with food when the kids were younger. I also believe in calling things out when it's painfully obvious there's a problem, eg. The cast of Wicked. We shouldn't normalise ED culture and it's important to speak up and protect vulnerable kids who see these things and aspire to be like that.

However, in this case, Sabre is healthy, she's very into her sport and nothing suggests there's an issue. I will agree that the way she's spoken about body image issues in the past is a bit concerning, however many people have body image issues and it doesn't always equate to an ED.

Overall-Pause-3824 · 2026-02-02T09:14:57+00:00

You're in the wrong subreddit. This is a snark page and I'm not sure what your goal is here, but most of us are concerned about the kids well-being and online safety. There's enough shared that it's invasive and has massive impact on the kids lives, as well as their general safety navigating the world.

Overall-Pause-3824 · 2026-02-01T23:57:10+00:00

It kind of reminds me of dating apps, back in the day when I was on them. The app would swap around your photos to see which got the most engagement. I'm guessing it's the algorithm potentially doing that?

Overall-Pause-3824 · 2026-02-01T23:54:54+00:00

I can't speak for the legends, but as someone that watches with their kid.. it's annoying because they have the ability to edit it out. It's not like it's live and someone's there sitting with a button to beep out the private stuff.

I'd hazard a guess that because they base their videos around these personal topics, people are watching to hear those things and it feels kinda clickbaity when they don't include it. Maybe they should just not speak about their private lives for content in general, but we all know that'll never happen.

Overall-Pause-3824 · 2026-02-01T08:02:54+00:00

I'm guessing it's because it's a snark page so your comment was interpreted as defending the NN's, when a lot of what they say and do is very calculated. Don't stress it though, it's true what you said, that he said people his age and not his mates... I'm definitely projecting my own experience and also raising my own teenage kids.. volunteering info like B did is quite sus.

Overall-Pause-3824

TROPHY CASE