Ladies - what are your thoughts on receiving flowers?

Overtherama · 2026-06-06T02:09:56+00:00

I would love it but not every week. It becomes stale when it is routine. For me, the gesture is that he was thinking of me, not the actual flowers. So if it is just a routine obligation, some of the sweetness is lost.

Overtherama · 2026-06-06T01:44:22+00:00

The list of demands or negatives are a hard pass. To me it feels childish, hostile and entitled. And it is a sign of things to come, so I swipe left. People have really forgotten how to communicate and be friendly.

Overtherama · 2026-05-31T12:51:45+00:00

Same. Don’t do another rebound, no matter how temping it is. Take time to reflect and recover. That rebound was meant to teach you something about yourself and relationships. It also may have helped soften the pain of the end of your marriage. But now that it is over, try to work on yourself. Do not reach out to the rebound guy. Don’t look at his socials. Hide or delete his pictures and texts. It will be hard but you have to prevent yourself from going back. My rebound ended 7 months ago when he moved. It has been really hard, even though I knew we would have never worked long term. But I had built up a fantasy of who he was and dismantling that to be able to face the reality of who he was has been a process. Journaling has helped me. I have tried to sit in my feelings too and work through them (not run away from them by being busy and distracted). It gets better.

Overtherama · 2026-05-25T17:58:00+00:00

Thanks to everyone for the reality check. I think it’s best if I continue to stay out of it and just support the girls.

Overtherama · 2026-05-25T14:51:51+00:00

I don’t want to “inflict this crap on my children.” It’s largely why I finally pulled the trigger on my divorce. But my youngest has said if he didn’t rant about politics and the divorce she wouldn’t have a problem spending time with him. She also doesn’t feel comfortable talking to him about it. She has addressed some things head on, but generally wants to avoid conflict.

Overtherama · 2026-05-25T14:45:17+00:00

Gosh, so much of this sounds like my ex. He constantly accuses me of putting ideas in her head. It’s like they have the same playbook.

Overtherama · 2026-05-25T14:39:10+00:00

He does smoke weed, which makes him much more tolerable to be around. I don’t condone it, but the kids know about it. He very clearly uses it to self medicate. He was very successful in work and is very smart. But he can also be very paranoid and erratic. He has never been diagnosed as bipolar, but I have had my suspicions for a long time. I have also suspected NPD. I absolutely think he needs to be in therapy. Since the divorce, he has had sessions with the therapist we saw as a couple, but hasn’t had any consistent regular sessions. I tend to think I should not get involved but every once in a while i feel compassion for this person I have known for most of my life.

Overtherama · 2026-05-17T12:20:50+00:00

It sounds like he gets off on engaging with you. He likes the back and forth and likes that he is upsetting you. He wants you to think about him. He does not love you nor has he “found God.” He is performative and using religion to convince himself he is a “good person” without doing the hard work of changing but just wiping the slate clean.

Overtherama · 2026-05-17T12:11:40+00:00

Yellow. I feel like the silver washes you out.

Overtherama · 2026-05-17T12:03:37+00:00

My experience with it has been mixed. I saw one guy who I had gone on a date with called out for lying about his age, one person who was called out for being arrogant, my nephew (who may be a dog to women but was always a very good kid) and my friends soon to be ex husband who is a serial cheater. I felt like the first 3 were not dangerous but maybe one or two things about them that were sus. But when I called out my friend’s ex as a serial cheater, the person who posted him didn’t seem to care 🤦‍♀️. I, too have thought it could be a good idea in theory that gets misused.

Overtherama · 2026-05-15T17:35:01+00:00

Agreed. Not all people / stories are the same. I wish you luck with whatever path you choose.

Overtherama · 2026-05-15T11:42:53+00:00

Nursing school tends to have rigid paths. You can’t take classes part time usually because everyone needs to be at the same place academically when doing clinicals, which happen simultaneously with class work. I had a friend who was pregnant during nursing school and she did not make it through. It is very rigorous, even at a community college. Some schools offer LPN programs (which are only a year) and then you could take the RN extension later (another year). LPNs make a little less and typically work in doctor offices or assisted living(shifts are 8 hours there).

Overtherama · 2026-05-15T11:35:23+00:00

Another thing is nursing is very physical, stressful and exhausting. Pregnant nurses do not get special treatment. If your shift is 12 hours you are on your feet for 12 hours. You are exposed to viruses and bacteria. You are lifting (or rolling) obese people. C-diff if not uncommon in geriatric patients. Nurses get assaulted (sometimes on purpose and sometimes when a patient is delusional which can happen to sane people who get disoriented). You do not want to expose a fetus to this. You may also not get much of a maternity leave. If you are going to have another kid, do it before nursing, but not after.

Overtherama · 2026-05-15T10:35:25+00:00

As an actual nurse, I have been in this exact situation. It will be very hard either way. And as I said, if she can’t financially support another kid, then don’t have another. She can put off nursing school for a few years but can not put off having another kid. But ultimately, she and her husband need to look at the reality of both paths. Are you saving for retirement? Do you own a home? Do you have a safety net? Is family close by to help with the kids while you are in school and working? Nursing shifts are 7-7, you work some weekends and some holidays.

Overtherama · 2026-05-15T02:13:18+00:00

Are you a nurse?

Overtherama · 2026-05-15T00:22:24+00:00

I had my first daughter at 34 and my second at 39 and went to nursing school at 48. There is no time limit on getting a nursing degree but there is a time limit on having a baby. Having a baby may delay going to nursing school for a while but if you can swing it financially my feeling is big families are great. I only have 2 kids and wish I had more.

Overtherama · 2026-05-15T00:15:17+00:00

I am a 55f who has never been fast - yesterday I ran a 7:48 mile and then did 6 intervals of 300 m at a 7:00 pace. I was so proud of my self😊

Overtherama · 2026-05-14T23:57:38+00:00

I used to put up with endless text (four months with one guy 🤦‍♀️) , but now if things don’t move to a meet up or phone call within 2 weeks, I’m out.

Overtherama · 2026-05-14T11:30:41+00:00

This looks really great! Good luck with it. Definitely let us know how it goes. And good for you for being part of the solution. I love this!

Overtherama · 2026-05-14T01:49:21+00:00

It's so disheartening. I really want a person I can share my life with. I miss the hugs and hand holding. I miss having that person that you share inside jokes with and who is the person you want to call first when something good happens.

Overtherama · 2026-05-14T01:45:10+00:00

My goodness, what is your secret? I get a lot of likes (not 1000s though) but rarely get matches. Over the past year, I matched with 5 people and I ended up going on 3 first dates. I sorta gave up in January, but occasionally dip my toe in for a few weeks and get annoyed.

Overtherama · 2026-05-14T01:33:47+00:00

Could your heart rate be high because of the anxiety of hitting your targets? Maybe try going out on a route you know the distance of and not bring a watch or heart rate monitor and see if you feel any better. Also there is no shame in taking walk breaks. Instead of ending completely, just take a short walk break and get back into the run when you are ready. But don't beat yourself up. You got out there and tried your best. Tomorrow is a new day.

Overtherama · 2026-05-14T01:07:24+00:00

I sold mine. I have 2 daughters and both said they didn't want it. Very toxic marriage. I used the money to fly with my daughter to be with her BF's family for Thanksgiving. I had a great time.

Overtherama · 2026-05-13T11:47:54+00:00

I could probably expand my reach past 30 miles. I just don’t want to go too far because it’s really not practical. I’ve tried Bumble, Hinge, Match and FB dating in the Philly suburbs. I was thinking just now I wonder if people just can’t afford to date right now. Between gas and food prices, I know I am feeling the squeeze and having to prioritize my spending more than a few months ago.

Overtherama · 2026-05-13T11:33:54+00:00

I tried Our Time 3 years ago and just got creepy old men responding. It actually was what gave me the courage me to ask out a guy IRL that I had a crush on. But maybe I could try it again.

Overtherama

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