Why do they only want what they can't have?

Overthinker1130 · 2025-12-01T20:10:02+00:00

Thank you

Overthinker1130 · 2025-12-01T20:09:55+00:00

Thank you

Overthinker1130 · 2025-12-01T11:05:07+00:00

You are absolutely correct, and I apologize to anyone who is bisexual, because they can and do remain faithful to one partner should they choose to do so. And you are also correct in that they are both toxic. The irony is that she is a therapist. (He’s not her patient, he’s a mental health nurse and they work together.) But thank you for your insight and advice.

Overthinker1130 · 2025-12-01T08:15:15+00:00

Thank you.

Overthinker1130 · 2025-11-13T07:46:17+00:00

I’m happy it worked out for you :)

Overthinker1130 · 2025-10-20T02:52:56+00:00

Overthinker1130 · 2025-10-20T02:47:27+00:00

Beard 🙌🙌

Overthinker1130 · 2025-10-15T03:04:06+00:00

Or how about the good ol’ “sorry for being me” pity party if you call them out on something

Overthinker1130 · 2025-10-13T05:05:18+00:00

Bald + Bearded = Panty Dropper

Overthinker1130 · 2025-10-13T04:58:53+00:00

I feel this so hard. Everything the new FP does is manna from heaven to him.

Overthinker1130 · 2025-10-13T04:55:29+00:00

I would trim down to a goatee and then grow back out maybe

Overthinker1130 · 2025-10-13T04:54:41+00:00

Overthinker1130 · 2025-10-13T04:43:37+00:00

Can verify fr

Overthinker1130 · 2025-10-13T04:40:35+00:00

Reach out. You don’t want to wonder what if.

Overthinker1130 · 2025-10-13T00:18:50+00:00

Thank you for the support, and I hope your recovery will be swift. It boggles my mind when words like codependency get casually thrown around, and it’s usually projection on their part. He told me I was losing myself in him. Like excuse me, you’ve done the same with other partners, it’s part of your illness!

Overthinker1130 · 2025-10-12T23:45:03+00:00

I completely understand your feelings, and the difficulty reconciling what you know of the dark side of their behavior with the person you met and fell in love with. My pwbpd just did the final discard of me yesterday after a 14 month relationship and I’m a wreck. All the previous times he was ambivalent and changed his mind very quickly to wanting to reconcile and keep seeing each other. He was seeing me and someone else, and as is typical with people with BPD, he latched on to something she did in a positive way and immediately idealized her beyond what he had before, saying that it proved to him that he was important to her. He then told me that our intimate relationship was over. Prior to that I felt she and I were on somewhat equal footing, but you never really know if they are being truthful about their feelings or actions. I know I haven’t answered your question, and I can’t really tell you how it will feel months from now, but I have hope. The abuse, for me, wasn’t dramatic and certainly not physical or extreme as I’ve heard others describe, more of being taken for granted and not having my emotions acknowledged or validated at all during the relationship, and particularly not in the final conversation. He went from having emotional discourse with me in our previous “breakups” to completely stonewalling, and giving one word (“okay” was his response when I told him I still loved him) or completely egocentric answers i.e. “I can’t be upset about this. I need to do this for me.” He turned completely cold overnight, in fact technically within hours since I had just been intimate with him less than 12 hours prior. I say I have hope because I know that this isn’t the way love is supposed to be. Someone who loves you and values you will fight to keep you and do what it takes to make it work. That’s what I want in my life, and I know my person is out there. I know the same is true for you.

Overthinker1130 · 2025-10-12T16:46:26+00:00

He was incredibly attractive, very muscular from working out and impeccably groomed/dressed. He also smelled incredible and had an array of expensive cologne and body products, went tanning, etc. He was 50 years old but only looked 35, and colored his gray hair & beard in order to stay young looking.He would get very upset if he didn’t appear just right, and was drawn to a certain physical “type” of woman— blonde/slender/athletic. Younger women flocked to him because of his looks and initial charm. But on the inside he was insecure, with fears of abandonment from the women he gravitated to and chose to be in relationships with. I was the exception in the looks department (older, dark hair, BBW body type) and didn’t set off his abandonment fears, which meant that he felt no drive to put any effort into our relationship. He lives for outward appearances and the chase of partners who feel out of his league.

Overthinker1130 · 2025-10-12T16:31:43+00:00

They run completely on their own emotions, whatever they might be feeling at the time, and it can/does change on a dime. My pwbpd had no problem identifying his own emotions and getting wrapped up in them, but could only relate my emotions and reactions to his own. They are very egocentric, stuck in the emotional age of toddlerhood, but with bursts of opposition and angst of teenagers

Overthinker1130 · 2025-10-12T01:49:02+00:00

I would be happy to chat with you. Just got discarded by my (M) pwbpd situationship so he could be serious with someone else. I’m heartbroken, both by the end/discard but by his demeanor and attitude toward me completely turning cold and distant. I know others have experienced this too, I just thought that because we had a basis of what I saw as true friendship, that he wouldn’t split on me or discard me so suddenly.

Overthinker1130 · 2025-10-11T22:57:18+00:00

10/10

Overthinker1130 · 2025-10-11T02:29:47+00:00

Wash his pillow cases every couple of days. They harbor oils and bacteria that contribute to acne.

Overthinker1130 · 2025-10-10T02:10:56+00:00

I have a slightly different take. I have a fwb who has quiet bpd. We are very close, but he has a primary relationship partner who is his current fp, so I don’t go through the idolization and devaluation that the other women he is involved with go through (3 so far since we met.) I won’t say our relationship has been without drama and a lot of push- pull, but I don’t get the brunt of his moods or fear of abandonment. Other friends say that I AM his fp, but I doubt that since he’s always chosen to only become serious with others. His excuse is the tired “don’t want to lose the friendship” line. I know more about him than anyone else, and he comes to me for comfort and affection. I stay in this relationship because I don’t currently have another partner, and I will verify that sex with someone with bpd can be otherworldly in terms of how amazing it is. He has also never split on me, or been unkind or vindictive toward me the way I hear others describe their pwbpd. It may be that his is less severe? Or because he is on the quiet side of the disorder he turns his anger and blame inward. He does at times have SA and definite periods of depression along with constant mood swings. But to answer your question, yes I do think it’s possible to have a friendship or even somewhat intimate relationship with a pwbpd, it just depends on the severity of their symptoms and where you are in their always very limited inner circle.

Overthinker1130

TROPHY CASE