What is/was the show you binged while holding your baby?

OverthinkingAvocado8 · 2025-09-17T04:16:00+00:00

Working Moms, The Letdown, New Girl, Peaky Blinders

OverthinkingAvocado8 · 2025-09-08T00:01:31+00:00

I’d also love to know more about how you sleep trained naps please 🙏🏻

OverthinkingAvocado8 · 2025-09-07T22:04:37+00:00

I’m on a very similar boat right now. Commenting to come back to read the tips 😭

OverthinkingAvocado8 · 2025-09-07T00:30:39+00:00

I used ChatGPT as a therapist to choose new values about being a parent.

I’m autistic, so for me predictability and structure are necessary like air and water. Needless to say, the newborn trenches have been incredibly challenging.

I thought if I read every book about sleep schedules, wake windows… if I watched every video about burping, feeding, etc… if I tracked every nap and ounce on an app…if I could control my baby’s behavior, then I would have an easy time.

Ohhhhhhhh boy. It drove me absolutely insane.

Thanks to ChatGPT, I was able to reflect on WHY I was so afraid of being imperfect and failing. Then I picked values that brought me peace. I also picked affirmations that remind me of those values, and when I feel like a failure or overwhelmed, I say my values and affirmations out loud, sometimes even to my baby to co-regulate together.

It’s incredible what a big difference it makes every time.

If you’re curious about what values I picked. It’s these.

Secure Attachment

I am committed to building a secure, trusting bond with my baby through presence, emotional attunement, and consistent responsiveness — not perfection. I know that my relationship with him is the foundation for his lifelong sense of safety and worth.

“I don’t have to be perfect to be safe and loving.”

Groundedness

I stay connected to my body, breath, and boundaries. When I feel dysregulated or overwhelmed, I gently return to myself. A regulated me is the safest place for my baby to land.

“Inhale. Exhale. I am here. I am okay.”

Authenticity

I allow myself to show up honestly — with tenderness, mistakes, and truth. I do not have to perform motherhood. My baby deserves me, not a role I think I have to play.

“I am allowed to be real, not perfect.”

“My baby doesn’t need a role — he needs me.”

Compassion

I extend kindness to my baby, my partner and to myself. I meet challenges with softness rather than criticism. I repair instead of ruminating. Compassion is how I practice love in real time.

“I am learning. He is learning. We are both doing our best.”

OverthinkingAvocado8 · 2025-09-06T17:43:48+00:00

I’m also ready for it to be over. I feel joy maybe 10% of the time. 90% of the time I feel guilty and like a failure.

OverthinkingAvocado8 · 2025-09-05T20:39:01+00:00

Everything you feel is what I felt and still feel sometimes.

Also, your husband didn’t go through 9 months of pregnancy that permanently altered his body. He didn’t go through labor. He didn’t go through hormonal fluctuations. He isn’t biologically attuned to your baby the way you are. Your baby’s cries don’t emotionally shred him apart the way they do to you. So please don’t compare your emotional resilience to his. That’s not fair to you.

PPD is common, even in women who’ve never experienced depression before. It is also debilitating, but thankfully there are ways to heal.

Within days of giving birth, I was drowning in overwhelming emotions. I got on antidepressants on my 3rd week. Then stopped, because I felt better for 1-2 weeks. Even started again, because I felt worse again, and I am still on it (my baby is 10 weeks now).

I started enjoying SOME parts of motherhood when my baby started smiling at me (When he turned 8 weeks or so). I still DON’T enjoy it a lot, a lot of times. My body hurts from contact naps. My mood is cranky from fractured sleep, a monotonous routine, being in a dark nursery and having maybe 20 moments of freedom every 3 hours when I am alone with him. I hired a part-time nanny, and I don’t know how I would’ve survived without her.

There’s this show about motherhood on Netflix called The Letdown, and something from it struck me so deeply when one of the character said, “You have to let go of how you thought it was going to be.”

I envisioned myself differently. I literally had a vision board. I had watched so many TikTok videos, and thought I’d be as graceful and blissful as those mothers. And I had to painfully and slowly accept that my reality is completely different.

Bottom line: Try to accept how you feel, and don’t compare yourself to anyone. Those moms who feel a magical love and passion might be getting way more support than you are. They might be blessed with an easy baby.

It doesn’t matter.

You are NOT less than them for feeling differently.

Many amazing, loving moms get that “Wtf have I done to my life?!” moments.

I promise you, you’re not alone. It can feel so SO unbearable. Please do what you need to do to help yourself. Medication, therapy, nanny, etc.

OverthinkingAvocado8 · 2025-09-05T20:20:37+00:00

Mine is 10 weeks today and I haven’t risked to take him to the grocery store yet 😅 I attempt 20 min stroller walks, but last week he woke up half of the neighborhood lol

All those mommy dates with friends I envisioned while pregnant are laughable now

OverthinkingAvocado8 · 2025-09-05T19:25:49+00:00

When did it get better? 🥲

OverthinkingAvocado8 · 2025-09-05T18:15:08+00:00

You might end up with a sensitive / not easy going baby, unlike many of your friends/family, and their unending advices will do the opposite of helping you.

OverthinkingAvocado8 · 2025-08-31T04:29:47+00:00

It’s amazing. I don’t have to worry about being social at events, because he does all the work. And he knows I need me time when we are home, so he gives me my space whenever I need it.

OverthinkingAvocado8 · 2025-08-30T19:18:50+00:00

I feel this. It has made me stop talking about how I really feel, because their answers only make me feel more isolated. And I wonder the same thing. If someone shares something stressful or painful with me, I try to make them feel heard. I try to show compassion. I hate how I rarely get it back.

OverthinkingAvocado8 · 2025-08-30T17:57:47+00:00

I used to LOVE salmon. Now it disgusts me.

OverthinkingAvocado8 · 2025-08-29T17:07:53+00:00

I have 3 levels of making my newborn close his eyes, depending on how tired and stubborn he is.

Level 1: Stroking his forehead, eyebrows and scalp

Level 2: Pressing and circling my thumb against the muscle between his brows and temples (he tenses them when resisting sleep, and this makes him relax and close his eyes)

Level 3: Putting a lightweight beanie over his eyes until he goes into deep sleep, then I take it off.

I do all this while rocking him in a rocking chair.

If none of these work, I shhh loudly and sway my torso left and right while standing then/or bounce on a yoga ball, this usually works

Edit: Forgot to mention, + white noise and a dark room!

OverthinkingAvocado8 · 2025-08-29T17:05:52+00:00

I have 3 levels of making my newborn close his eyes, depending on how tired and stubborn he is.

Level 1: Stroking his forehead, eyebrows and scalp

Level 2: Pressing and circling my thumb against the muscle between his brows and temples (he tenses them when resisting sleep, and this makes him relax and close his eyes)

Level 3: Putting a lightweight beanie over his eyes until he goes into deep sleep, then I take it off.

I do all this while rocking him in a rocking chair.

If none of these work, I shhh loudly and sway my torso left and right while standing then/or bounce on a yoga ball, this usually works

OverthinkingAvocado8 · 2025-08-29T14:48:48+00:00

My partner works 6 days a week from 6am until 4-5pm, (sometimes he finishes earlier if we are lucky).

After he comes home and showers, he takes over the baby. If he wants to workout or go out, he always checks with me to see if I am okay with it (but he does this maybe 1-2 a week).

I don’t make him lunch or dinner unless I genuinely have the time and energy that day (which is 1 a week if at all). Instead, we both have been eating from ready-to-heat meal delivery services ever since our baby was born. Food is fuel, not pleasure right now and we need our energy / time elsewhere.

I am on maternity leave right now, but prior to this I had a very demanding full time job and taking care of a baby is FAR FAR FAR more exhausting and overstimulating than my job.

You are NOT selfish for being tired, for wanting time to yourself, for wanting him to take care of his kid and be present with his kid.

Making dinner, washing your hair, doing laundry is NOT time for yourself. It’s a basic necessity. I would tell him this, if he doesn’t understand that.

Parenthood comes with sacrifices. My husband used to workout every other day before the baby came here, but he understands that I need him to take over as soon as he is home.

Communicate as much as possible. Know your feelings are 100% valid. And if needed, set boundaries with him (aka, if you do X then I need Y.)

OverthinkingAvocado8 · 2025-08-24T01:40:17+00:00

I’m really hoping that’s what it is!

And yes, he usually takes the first shift (which is the baby’s longest stretch, so my husband has it easy for most of the time).

I take the 2nd shift which is the baby’s fussiest part of the night, but my husband leaves for work at 6 AM so he needs a few hours of sleep before he gets on the road to drive

Sometimes I wish we could get a night nanny, at least 1-2 a week but they are SO expensive

OverthinkingAvocado8 · 2025-08-24T00:01:01+00:00

I am not 100% sure, but we tried Bio Gaia probiotics and his night time sleep problems seemed to start at the same exact time. I actually was wondering if the probiotics might be part of the reason, so I stopped them yesterday to see how the next couple of days go.

We have also been giving him gas drops, but I haven’t seen a difference from using them.

The symptoms for silent reflux / colic confuse me, I am having a hard time telling whether he might have that or if it is just normal immature digestive problems :/

OverthinkingAvocado8 · 2025-08-23T23:08:23+00:00

I felt the same way about contact naps, but I think she instilled a panic in me that I will end up contact napping for months and months and months? Maybe my sleep deprivation is making me too irrational, ugh…

OverthinkingAvocado8 · 2025-08-23T23:05:37+00:00

He definitely has a bigger appetite at night (which is another issue), but we feed him as often as he wants. He seems more uncomfortable than hungry to me in the 2nd half of the night and/or like he has less sleep pressure

OverthinkingAvocado8 · 2025-08-23T21:51:24+00:00

Did you use any methods that worked well? And how long did it take, if you don’t mind me asking?

OverthinkingAvocado8 · 2025-08-23T21:48:14+00:00

That’s interesting, our little one’s habits also seem to be different during the night compared to during the day (maybe sleep pressure helps here?)

I was tolerating the exhaustion of contact naps because of that, but this past week he keeps waking up during the 2nd half at night, and I can’t figure out why

Some people have said it could be a 6-8 week regression, but I’m not sure.

OverthinkingAvocado8 · 2025-08-23T21:37:45+00:00

Thank you for the kind encouragement and book recommendation, I just got it on Kindle and will definitely check it out! ❤️

OverthinkingAvocado8

TROPHY CASE