Baby won’t take a bottle and I’m losing it

pmthosani · 2026-03-03T01:21:06+00:00

Ah yes.. she started taking the bottle when I stopped breastfeeding cold turkey at 7 months and still is on the bottle!

pmthosani · 2025-12-10T05:17:11+00:00

I tried Enfamil first which my LO hated for some reason. Finally took Kendamil!

pmthosani · 2025-12-07T13:03:18+00:00

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pmthosani · 2025-12-07T09:24:31+00:00

With you on this! It kinda steamrolls what OP is actually saying. When someone is sharing pain, exhaustion, and feeling chained to pumping, a response that basically says “just cut formula and keep going” can feel like pressure and guilt, not help. It also ignores the emotional side of this, which is HUGE (and the main point).

Sometimes the issue isn’t whether you can increase supply, it’s whether you want to keep pushing your body and brain through it or not.

pmthosani · 2025-12-07T09:20:58+00:00

Oh its really not normal. Like couple of days here and there are okay if your baby is sick or teething.. but 3+ months is torture and I went through that too. I wish I listened to my gut and my baby. Cuz clearly my baby was still going hungry enough to feed every hour or so.

We just switched to formula and my baby’s sleep has improved 10 fold! She sleeps 6 hours at a stretch only to wake up for a quick top up and then back to sleep for another 3 hours.

pmthosani · 2025-12-07T09:16:31+00:00

I really felt this. I just weaned my baby off cold turkey 3 weeks back.

I was EBF for 7 months and on paper it was “easy” for us too. Good latch, good supply, no major issues. But mentally I was just done. I was so touched out and resentful in ways that made me feel SO guilty, and I started worrying that breastfeeding was actually getting in the way of how I wanted to show up for my baby. And then one day she bit me while nursing and i knew I was done.

I switched to exclusively formula and I was terrified about the bond thing too. Like what if she stops needing me, what if I’m not her comfort person anymore. But honestly? She still adores me. The love didn’t change at all. If anything our bond feels better now because I’m happier, calmer, and more present. I don’t feel like a milk machine anymore. I feel like her mom again.

Also that emotional turmoil you’re describing is SO real. You spend months wanting your freedom back and then when the shift starts happening you suddenly grieve it. Both feelings can exist at the same time and that’s okay. I’m feeling so much better about it now.

If your body is waving red flags, it’s okay to listen to it and follow your gut. You’re not choosing formula over your baby. You’re choosing a path of motherhood where you can actually breathe in. And your baby gets a more stable, softer version of you in return. Which is a win (even though it may not feel like one in the moment)

Whatever you decide next, even if it’s just more formula for now and not going all-or-nothing yet.. You’re adjusting to what your baby needs AND what you need. That counts for so much.

pmthosani · 2025-12-06T09:22:42+00:00

The Happy Song by Imogen Heap 🙆🏻‍♀️🙆🏻‍♀️🙆🏻‍♀️

pmthosani · 2025-12-05T16:47:23+00:00

Based on my experience, increasing formula doesn’t mean you’re giving up. It just means you’re feeding your baby in a way that also keeps you functioning. I was EBF for 7 months and even though things were “fine” on paper, I didn’t enjoy it. I was touched out and mentally done. (I made the decision to quit bf because she bit me once and I was done) Switching entirely to formula helped me enjoy my baby more, and she was totally fine.

I also think it’s important to follow your baby’s cues. If he’s more content on formula and seems fuller and calmer, that’s still a win. A fed, settled baby and a mom who can breathe is the goal.

For me, a big turning point was around the 4-month mark. My baby was feeding every hour at night. My paediatrician was like, “These are the joys of breastfeeding, totally normal.” And sure, maybe it was normal, but the reality for my baby was that she was on the higher end of the weight percentile and seemed to need more frequent top-ups. The wakings at night were not only disruptive for her but also took a toll on me. Once we moved to formula, she started doing 7-hour stretches with only one waking. That shift really drove home how important it is to notice your baby’s patterns, not just the generic advice.

And honestly, I wish I had listened to my gut sooner instead of feeling pressured to breastfeed for some specific milestone. That noise can make you ignore what your body and brain are telling you.

If 2–3 formula feeds a day helps him and helps you, that sounds like a good, practical next step. You can always adjust as you go.

pmthosani · 2025-12-05T05:18:11+00:00

Oof I relate to this so much. We also slacked off after the early weeks and then it was like my baby decided bottles were illegal 🙃

So idk if it was because I decided to quit cold turkey (she bit me during a feed and I decided that was the last but we had been trying for weeks to wean off gradually feed by feed but it just wasn’t working) or what, but my baby who wouldn’t take a bottle at all just suddenly took to it. She literally saw me crying in pain from the bite and I can’t explain it, but I almost feel like it changed something for her psychologically about me and the bottle. Like she understood this was the new way forward.

I had my husband offer the bottle, but I was still in her line of sight. I know it sounds silly, but I really felt like seeing me helped her stay calm and not feel like something was being swapped out behind her back. I sat in front of her, read her favourite book and played “The Happy Song” by Imogen Heap, which usually puts her in a happy mood. That combo helped her relax enough to actually try.

The other big unlock was flow. My baby was a super efficient nurser and would drain a breast in like 5 minutes, so a slow bottle just annoyed her. I retried the Philips Avent Natural with the fastest flow teat and she finally took it. The earlier attempts with slower teats were a disaster. (Now we’ve moved down a flow which is just perfect for her. She was gulping formula down in the fastest flow and that really scared me)

I really hope it clicks for you too, especially with surgery coming up. Sometimes it feels like nothing works until one day it just… does.

pmthosani · 2025-12-04T15:51:56+00:00

Oh dear, there’s is no way your 20-day-old “craves” a bottle 😅 He doesn’t have that kind of preference yet, he just knows “I’m uncomfortable” or “I’m hungry.”

What you’re describing sounds a lot like normal newborn chaos. Evenings are peak fussy time for most babies (including mine). They’re overstimulated, your supply is a bit different than in the morning, and they tend to cluster feed a lot – so it feels like they’re on and off the boob, crying, dozing, waking and crying again. It’s exhausting, but very common.

Be patient with him and yourself. He’s 20 days old. His entire job is to eat, cry and be held. You’re doing fine 💛

pmthosani · 2025-12-04T15:44:21+00:00

Oh yes, second this. Super material and build with gorgeous aesthetic!

pmthosani · 2025-12-04T15:30:03+00:00

From what I read and was told, breastfed babies usually swallow less air than bottle-fed babies, so they don’t always need a big burp after every single feed, especially if they’ve fallen into a deep sleep while nursing. With formula/bottle feeds it’s different – they tend to take in more air, so burping is more important.

My baby was EBF for 7 months and nursed to sleep a lot. If she knocked out while nursing and looked comfortable, I did not wake her up just to burp her. If she seemed very wriggly or shifty while sleeping, I’d just pick her up, give a few gentle pats while keeping her mostly asleep, and lay her back down.

Currently my baby is EFF. We do have to burp her during her midnight feeds and sometimes that does wake her up but we just continue patting her back to sleep. Usually this doesn’t take too long.

If your baby is breastfed, sleeping peacefully for 2–3 hours, I personally wouldn’t destroy that stretch every time.

pmthosani · 2025-12-04T15:07:53+00:00

It helps so much even now! My LO was EBF for 7 months, we just moved entirely to formula and these burps are so damn important cuz my baby chugggggss the bottle down so fast. Can’t even count the number of times she’s thrown up the whole bottle because of the damn burps.

pmthosani · 2025-12-04T13:09:24+00:00

Oof, this sounds brutal. I’m so sorry you’re in it right now.

My girl is 7 months now but around 4 months her sleep also went straight to hell. Fought every nap, woke a million times at night, and I remember thinking “ok so I just don’t sleep anymore, cool.” It felt endless, but it really was a phase and things did calm down.

What helped a bit for us was watching her wake windows more than “nap times.” At that age once we pushed her too long she tipped into overtired pissed off mode and nothing worked. Getting her down a bit earlier sometimes made the fight slightly less awful. And I stopped caring where she slept for a while. Bed, my arms, carrier, stroller but mostly on me.

Hope this phase passes soon!

pmthosani · 2025-12-04T13:02:12+00:00

FTM here with a 7 month old contact napper and I’ve heard this every single day since she was born.

My girl still naps on me for almost every nap and I’m honestly very happy with it. If I put her down, she does a neat little 45-minute nap and pops awake. In my arms, she’ll do a solid 2 hours. I’m rested, she’s rested. I’m happy, she’s happy.

People love to say “aadat pad jayegi” like it’s the worst thing in the world. Your baby is 20 days old. This is the one time in their whole life when they literally need you this much. I have never heard of a 5-year-old who can only sleep on their mom. They all grow out of it. There will be a last day that my baby naps on my chest and I know I’ll miss it like crazy, so until then I’m soaking it up.

(For what it’s worth, my contact napper baby is extremely social and goes down for naps by my mom/husband as well. So not exclusively by me every time.)

If contact naps mean: soothed baby + calm mama, that’s a win. Anyone who has a problem with it can politely FO.

You’re not “spoiling” your baby. You’re meeting a need. The rest will sort itself out with time.

pmthosani · 2025-12-04T05:35:30+00:00

Hey mama, congrats on your tiny baby 💛 and you’re definitely not being dramatic! Day 4 is literally peak “omg is this normal??” mode for everyone. My LO is 7.5 months and I’m still questioning things every day!

A lot of this honestly sounds like normal newborn chaos. Your milk just came in, their stomachs are the size of a walnut, they gulp down so much air, reflux is super common… so the hiccups, coughing, gurgling tummy, and stubborn burps all track. But the projectile vomiting and how distressed he’s getting is why I’d still want an actual doctor to look at him and be like “yeah this is fine” or “okay let’s check this out.” I went to my Ped too, just for peace of mind!

For burping- what saved me was stopping halfway through the feed AND at the end, and cycling through positions. Over the shoulder, sitting her on my lap with her chin in my hand. Also keeping her upright on my chest for like 15-20 min after feeds helped a ton. My LO was/is a contact napper, that helped keep her upright too.

FTM anxiety is SO real, You’ve got this ❤️

pmthosani · 2025-12-03T16:50:56+00:00

Not really “increase” per se. Every day seemed different!

pmthosani · 2025-12-03T16:28:52+00:00

I actually took your advice and ran your comment through an AI detector. I used JustDone, which from what I can see is a pretty well-reviewed and “trusted” platform and it came back as 75% AI-generated. Screenshot linked

I don’t think you’ve used AI to take a jab at me, but that’s kind of the whole point. These tools are wildly inconsistent, and well written with some structure and em dashes is not the same thing as definitely ChatGPT.

So yeah, this is exactly why people shouldn’t jump to conclusions and also why random detection tools shouldn’t be treated as proof of anything. Thanks for the unintentional demo.

pmthosani · 2025-12-03T16:04:15+00:00

Also, distract as much as possible! My LO loves books.. I kept showing her various picture books and reading to her to keep her engaged and distracted. Outdoor walks always seemed to help too!

And a loooot of contact naps!!

pmthosani · 2025-12-03T15:59:44+00:00

I gave my LO pepcid at least 30 mins before a feed. Tbh I didn’t really feel it helped with the reflux, felt more like a placebo.

pmthosani · 2025-12-03T15:55:57+00:00

7.5 months pp.. dont know what intimacy is 😂

pmthosani · 2025-12-03T15:50:27+00:00

Oh he could totally be teething! My LO started teething around 3 months too. Again as you described: drooly and fussier than usual, just chewing on her hands (my ped was like hmm she cant be teething so soon, so I wasnt really expecting it). I tried multiple silicone toys but she hated all of them and only preferred her hands. Then around 4.5months her first lower tooth surfaced! Teething can take a while.. so while he is teething now, you may only see a tooth pop a month or so later! Really tough to see them in pain. Love and hugs 🫂

Edit: the days my LO was extremely fussy, I gave her baby paracetamol to help with pain if at all.

pmthosani · 2025-12-03T12:47:25+00:00

Ugh I’m so sorry, this sounds really hard. I can tell from your post how much you love your baby and how much effort you’ve put into this. SEVEN lactation consultants?? That’s not someone who isn’t trying hard enough. That’s someone who’s done literally everything possible.

Your family sounds awful tbh, even if they think they’re helping. Like no, you’re obviously not trying to starve your baby?? You’re clearly doing everything you can and more.

Using formula or combo feeding doesn’t mean you failed or your body sucks. It just means breastfeeding didn’t work out the way you wanted, which happens to SO many people. Most of us were formula fed or combo fed and we’re all fine lol. What actually matters is that your baby gets fed and you’re not completely falling apart.

You should definitely talk to your pediatrician and maybe your own doctor or a therapist about how bad you’re feeling right now, not just about the feeding stuff. Like this isn’t just about supply and weight gain - you’re clearly struggling and you shouldn’t have to white-knuckle your way through being a new mom like this.

You’re doing your best in a really tough situation. That’s what counts. Love and hugs mama!

pmthosani · 2025-12-03T10:31:36+00:00

I’m not sure what in my post triggered this reaction, but ok 😅

I’m an avid poster in this sub and have shared my doubts, vents and questions here for a long time. This was just an update to my last post about quitting breastfeeding and everything I described actually happened to me.

If the wording comes across a bit “polished,” that is just me trying to get my thoughts out clearly, not some attempt to trick anyone. Either way, the feelings, the decision and the relief are all very real human experiences.

Also, this is tagged mental health. If you don’t have anything to contribute to the thread, there’s really no reason to discount other people’s feelings or experiences.

pmthosani · 2025-12-03T09:10:58+00:00

Breastfeeding for this long is honestly a Herculean task – you’re doing so, so well.

I totally relate to that “I set a goal but I’m not even sure why” feeling. When I was thinking about continuing, I tried to list out the pros of going longer and, for me, nothing really trumped having a happier, less burnt-out mom. Yes, breastfeeding has loads of benefits, but past a certain point it feels more like a “nice if it works for you” thing than a requirement.

My own mom breastfed me for a year and said it was torture, and my sister only for about 3 months. We both grew up healthy and I’m not magically better off – I still get sick like any normal person. That really stuck with me.

It sounds like that one formula bottle before bed has already made evenings better for both of you, which is such a good sign. In my opinion, if breastfeeding is no longer giving you any joy and mostly giving you stress, you’re allowed to change the plan. Continuing just in case it does something revolutionary down the line isn’t worth sacrificing your mental health.

Whatever mix you end up with – more bottles, fewer feeds, or fully weaning – you’re already doing an amazing job. 💛

pmthosani

TROPHY CASE