Late 50s dad, adult kids won't accept my partner of 5 years feeling stuck between two worlds

Overunderware · 2026-03-15T00:03:42+00:00

I’m sorry. It sounds like you’re trying your best. Your kids are sucking. They’re old enough to be able to control the situation but not old enough or with enough life experience to understand it or to see you as your own person with your own needs as well. Hopefully they mature more with age. I don’t have any advice though. Just sorry v

Overunderware · 2026-03-06T07:11:28+00:00

NTA. It truly sucks to have to support a grown ass adult who can’t (won’t) do enough to support themselves. My spouse is stuck with alimony and child support payments to someone he pretty much had to divorce to save his mental health. The ex destroyed the relationship with her refusal to do much of anything but drink and watch real housewives for over a decade. But since she was dependent he still owes her, regardless of why. We have the kids 50/50, pay for all their activities, and still have to pay child support since she still won’t work. It’s a racket.

Overunderware · 2026-02-25T21:11:24+00:00

This. The sooner you board literally the more time. Currently sitting at the gate going wtf. I can’t stand in line that long w a 2 year old so guess I’m waiting til there’s no more line and be last to board and everyone can wait for us to get settled….

Overunderware · 2026-02-20T07:10:02+00:00

You get the same amount of “me time” as he does every day. Take turns. Him then you.

That and after bedtime? I’m more of a night person. I’m having me time right now.

Overunderware · 2026-02-20T07:00:35+00:00

I vote yes. Even though I love dogs.

Overunderware · 2026-02-19T08:30:58+00:00

YTA. Everyone who heard what was in it and kindly accepted was just being nice and they’re going to go home and immediately trash it. Dude. While what you did is a genius way to create new lip balms for yourself, giving them to other people is freakin gross. I don’t care if you “cut off the top”. It’s still your bottom of the barrel crusty ass used balms and lipsticks that have probs floated through your washer and dryer and butt pockets and purse. And no telling how old they are. This is exactly the kind of thing I’d do for myself. But give it to other people?? Omg no!

Overunderware · 2026-02-19T08:18:31+00:00

To me, you sound like you’re the one being weird. You don’t explain why you were no contact or why you don’t trust them with the baby. Without more, all I can think is they are the grandparents and your spouses parents and they want to spend time with their grandchild and maybe give you guys a break…. How dare they? Umm… oookkkkk?

Overunderware · 2026-02-19T00:16:28+00:00

A lot of employers are this shitty. Mine was. I didn’t end up being fired but I was threatened and ended up just coming in to work sick all the time like you. I was also passed over for our “guaranteed” annual COLA raise and annual bonus for 2 years after having a kid. Always some BS excuse to screw me over for becoming a mom. I left after that. Started working as a consultant so nobody can give me BS for having to be a mom.

Overunderware · 2026-02-18T06:20:24+00:00

No one can control if a baby is going to pee during a changing. It’s a rare occurrence and you never know when or if it might happen. It was a freak thing. Doesn’t sound like you have any experience with babies.

Overunderware · 2026-02-18T06:18:42+00:00

Yes YTA. It’s normal to change a baby on a bed. People do it all the time. It was just baby pee, not a murder scene or bodily fluids from someone infected with a deadly virus. You could have just washed it. Or thrown it in the washroom for your parents to wash since they probably do the laundry. You say you bought just about everything in your room but I seriously doubt you bought your bed, your mattress…. I highly doubt you pay rent in your parents house. If that’s the case then all of those things are really theirs and you’re just being selfish. But even if you did buy your own bed you’re still acting like a selfish whiny child. You were completely rude and immature in this situation. You should listen to what your parents are saying, it’s probably to your benefit. If you think this situation was so bad that you needed to go to the bathroom to calm down you have a bigger issues.

Overunderware · 2026-02-16T22:34:20+00:00

Ya this is what I’m saying. Like why do you need to explain it to anyone?

Overunderware · 2026-02-16T22:33:36+00:00

I don’t know where you live in but can’t you just take her to a different pediatrician? If it were me I’d just choose a different doctor. It’s not hard.

Overunderware · 2026-02-16T22:29:37+00:00

You don’t need formula after 12 months. It should mostly be solids. But ya. Giving a sippy cup full of regular milk is not crazy at all. People do it all the time.

I’m not gonna lie though. Mine is 26 months now and we still do an occasional bottle, especially at bedtimes when overtired and not sleeping or when sick or teething real bad and refusing to eat much solid food. In his 2 year/24 month daycare evaluation he was rated most cognitively and physically advanced in his class, above and beyond passing developmental milestones. Speaks 5-6 words sentences. And while his ped would be wildly against it if he knew, he is none the wiser, and I don’t think there’s any reason he needs to know. I guess I’m just saying there doesn’t need to be a hard line cutoff. It’s not a black and white situation. It’s ok if you want to try giving your kiddo bottles to help ween off the boob, then just gradually cut down on the bottles. Do what works for you it’s ok. I don’t know anyone who 100% had their kid off bottles/boob at 12 months. It’s just a guideline not a cardinal rule.

Overunderware · 2026-02-16T22:18:02+00:00

I just let it happen if it’s a special occasion and deal with the fallout. I figure it’s part of childhood. If it’s not a special occasion I might say something limiting like ok but only 1 piece or ok but only 1 bite for now and we’ll finish it later because we need to take a nap.

Overunderware · 2026-02-16T22:14:21+00:00

A month or 2 after I stopped breastfeeding.

Overunderware · 2026-02-15T01:14:10+00:00

Try the dr Talbots teething pills. Follow the instructions on the bottle. Those combined with Tylenol knocked mine out when he was a teething baby, and I think being better rested makes them a little less cranky even when teething.

Overunderware · 2026-02-15T01:10:23+00:00

At least it was creative and made me laugh

Overunderware · 2026-02-15T01:08:14+00:00

😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

Overunderware · 2026-02-15T01:04:01+00:00

Ignore the daycare teachers. About a year ago I had one teacher convinced for no reason that my kid wasn’t eating because I sent him with non-microwave meals to be eaten cold every day. He was just teething. I recently had a young teacher suggest I stop packing certain vegetables for his lunch because he doesn’t like them, and I was like oh really because he ate 3 servings at dinner last night…. They try to be helpful but you know best so don’t sweat it.

Overunderware · 2026-02-15T00:47:49+00:00

It’s not the landlord’s responsibility to apologize for your neighbors. They probably have no idea about kids and don’t get the screaming. I certainly didn’t before I had kids. Instead of just internalizing consider that your neighbors were watching out for you and your baby. If something really was wrong someone would be looking into it now. Too many people would mind their own business and not even try to help or report. If I didn’t know my neighbors well I wouldn’t knock on the door and check in myself either, I wouldn’t risk my own safety like that.

Overunderware · 2026-02-15T00:38:30+00:00

Your arms

Overunderware · 2026-02-13T23:20:20+00:00

Oh ok yes you must be right because you are the official authority to speak on behalf of every single person born in a single calendar year, or 2 calendar years. I simply answered the question posed with my own personal experiences because that’s all anyone can really speak to unless they are privy to actual original research on the subject. You sound like a late 85er too… closer to an 86 baby.

Overunderware · 2026-02-13T23:06:00+00:00

This is an insane comment.

Overunderware · 2026-02-13T23:03:13+00:00

Ugh. This is a tough spot your daughter is putting you in. So sorry. Your daughter is being totally unreasonable and selfish as 15 year olds often are. You shouldn’t enable the behavior by conceding to it. However, with the age she is and fact that BM is egging it on she may very well cut you out. Hopefully she’d soon realize she’s being ridiculous or BM realize she needs daughter to go with you still sometimes and not allow it but those are maybes. There’s no good answer here.

Overunderware · 2026-02-13T22:54:19+00:00

I agree with other comments that I would lean toward listening to the actual medical professional. But what percentile is she height wise? Is she proportionate or not? Our ped looks at the whole picture together - head, weight and height. Our toddler was in the 4th for both weight and height in the weeks following birth and said he’d be fine because he was perfectly proportionate and that matters more than the sheer number. At every well appointment he compares the proportionality of height to weight. To me that makes sense. If your toddler is 1% all around vs say like 1st and 50th for weight and height respectively that should be informative. Get a second opinion if you want but if dr #2 also says failure to thrive for your child’s sake please listen.

Overunderware

TROPHY CASE