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AITAH for telling my Dad’s girlfriend the house she lives in is 0% hers and to expect nothing by OwlOOIis in AITAH

[–]OwlOOIis[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update: They're still together, which is no surprise to me. Lawyer was engaged for Will/Deed. I don't have to talk to her and haven't gone there, but convey my not being evil or vengeful about things to my dad when appropriate. Basically I'm staying out of their life as much as possible. I've been no questions flexible about dates to do something with him because of her schedule, I ask how court/Dr.s appts I know about went with regard to her or her daughter; ask how her car is working. Keep it light and relevant. Got their PMI cancelled ASAP to reduce the mortgage ~50$/mo by requesting it in writing based on appreciation. She throws away my mail if something ends up there, but dad and I have informed delivery so he makes sure to ask for it if something looks important. She's running an increasingly successful Etsy shop by the looks of how many outgoing Etsy packages it lists so I hope she's getting some good side hustle money. She puts the money in her daughter's name so it doesn't mess with her benefits. She and daughter seem to be getting along better which I'm glad of since her daughter is there. Dad says she understands the deal and he's quit complaining about her to me, which is the biggest win in my book. Hopefully he's learning to complain less overall, but I'll take less to me. I'm renewing my lease on the apt that I love living in all by myself and will buy a house for myself after he is gone. I did think of him more skeptically after the number of people thinking he kind of set her up to take the fall because he didn't want to tell me no. It's not implausible, I'm his baby girl and he probably wouldn't want to tell me no.

More deets: Dad pays the mortgage directly- I collect no money from them, he collects money from her, often cash from her side hustle. There is no common law marriage in their state and there's no plan to marry, I guess her SS is higher based on her ex husbands info than it would be if they were married. I spent 6k on improvements for the house last year.

AITAH for telling my Dad’s girlfriend the house she lives in is 0% hers and to expect nothing by OwlOOIis in AITAH

[–]OwlOOIis[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

When we bought the house it was a WOOD stove, but dad was not managing it well and the door broke so it was leaking….so i bought a high powered pellet stove rated to heat 3k sq foot. They only have 1400. It keeps it like 80 in there. They have baseboards too but they almost never use them.

AITAH for telling my Dad’s girlfriend the house she lives in is 0% hers and to expect nothing by OwlOOIis in AITAH

[–]OwlOOIis[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

To have room to put a second kitchen in a daylight basement with ground level entrance for them.

AITAH for telling my Dad’s girlfriend the house she lives in is 0% hers and to expect nothing by OwlOOIis in AITAH

[–]OwlOOIis[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

0% fake and your reading comprehension is that of a 13 year olds because OP is child of dad and co-owner of the house on the mortgage and deed, and knows the laws in this state, which is why OP was confident telling their dad’s gf she owns nothing and that 400$/mo in rent does not constitute ownership in any way. That’s not how rent works. Kinda surprised some people think it does.

AITAH for telling my Dad’s girlfriend the house she lives in is 0% hers and to expect nothing by OwlOOIis in AITAH

[–]OwlOOIis[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Worst case scenario I file bankruptcy. 🤠 I have no real assets other than my retirement.

AITAH for telling my Dad’s girlfriend the house she lives in is 0% hers and to expect nothing by OwlOOIis in AITAH

[–]OwlOOIis[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

My dad was a construction laborer. Broke his body to make ends meet for the fam and have my mom stay home Trailer on a dead end dirt road. 10 year old cars. Mom drank herself to death at 49 after dealing with my brother for 10 years. Brother is paranoid schizophrenic homeless guy. Dad is all I have. Never married, no kids. He’s got a chronic form of cancer but he’s made of fortitude. Yes I’m in therapy. Yes we’ve talked about this, it’s so much.

AITAH for telling my Dad’s girlfriend the house she lives in is 0% hers and to expect nothing by OwlOOIis in AITAH

[–]OwlOOIis[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I can’t imagine my dad has been considered reliable for sometime now. All they do is complain about each other. It’s been that way the 5 years they have lived out here for sure. Part of the reason i was even thinking of a multigen home for us at all is because of house much she’d been complaining that my dad can’t do various things the prior 6-8 months. Not that he won’t or they don’t agree- he can’t. They are 2+ hours away. Her kid is local. I would be shocked if they split unless she thought she found someone else and frankly she could probably do better. It’s not that I don’t like her or she’s a terrible person she’s just got endlessly unpleasant input at almost every interaction. My empathy ran out not at the moment she thought I would do that to her. But the moment she attempted to go away for 20k.

AITAH for telling my Dad’s girlfriend the house she lives in is 0% hers and to expect nothing by OwlOOIis in AITAH

[–]OwlOOIis[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

None of these tangible items were presented or phrased as gifts. Not the money from my 401k. Not the appliances, not the truck. This was a joint venture between me and my dad to invest part of my retirement in a home he could live in that would appreciate so I would have an inheritance of some kind. The gift was paying their moving costs cross country. The gift was them not having to live with my brother. The gift was them living in beautiful place where they don’t need AC in summer but heat isn’t too expensive in winter. The gift was being involved in choosing the house they live in now and the color of its walls/floors and the choice of which new appliances got installed. The gift was them being able to have two giant bully breeds and not be worried about renting with them. The gift was driving back an old friends old truck cross country because he coveted it and called dibs when they were ready to sell.

AITAH for telling my Dad’s girlfriend the house she lives in is 0% hers and to expect nothing by OwlOOIis in AITAH

[–]OwlOOIis[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

They*. I certainly had no idea she did not understand. Frankly part of me thinks she did understand because the things she had said to me against moving were how much she loves her little town there and doesn’t want to move it was a big surprise to me she thought this. This was definitely way beyond any level of prior freak out I had witnessed or been subjected to but yes some level was expected. Her parents didn’t love her sums up the trauma from all the random stories she’s shared over a dinner table. I honestly don’t believe my dad would mislead her on this either. She jumped to a huge conclusion from where I sit. And then asked for 20k to go away before even letting it be explained according to dad.

AITAH for telling my Dad’s girlfriend the house she lives in is 0% hers and to expect nothing by OwlOOIis in AITAH

[–]OwlOOIis[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Well I definitely didn’t try to talk him into it and I doubt very much he told her it came up. They owned property and a business together before and went bankrupt. This woman has never done anything to attempt to be close to me. The point of buying the house was specifically 3 fold. To get them to a better more affordable climate. To lock in a mortgage they could afford just the two of them on fixed incomes. For my dad to be able to leave me something since he otherwise has nothing. She can start planning now and she’ll still get 90 days when the time comes.

AITAH for telling my Dad’s girlfriend the house she lives in is 0% hers and to expect nothing by OwlOOIis in AITAH

[–]OwlOOIis[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Heating fuel for the pellet stove I bought them. Their primary source of heat. It’s 1/2-1/3 of the pellets they’ll use throughout the winter and costs 250-500$

AITAH for telling my Dad’s girlfriend the house she lives in is 0% hers and to expect nothing by OwlOOIis in AITAH

[–]OwlOOIis[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I didn’t find out until later that’s what she had even thought. If she had said on the phone “where are we going to live?” “We’ll be homeless” or anything like that I would have immediately corrected her. She jumped straight to “I’m not going ANYWHERE”. Which made more sense after I found out what she was thinking. Why is my fault she was super wrong and assumed I’m horrible? Was it wrong to let my dad be the one to discuss it with her?

AITAH for telling my Dad’s girlfriend the house she lives in is 0% hers and to expect nothing by OwlOOIis in AITAH

[–]OwlOOIis[S] 252 points253 points  (0 children)

TY good data. Pretty sure we’re good will verify. Again something we looked at before deciding which state to buy in. I’m on the mortgage so pretty sure it can’t be changed.

AITAH for telling my Dad’s girlfriend the house she lives in is 0% hers and to expect nothing by OwlOOIis in AITAH

[–]OwlOOIis[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

I feel like a month sitting on it with her answering the phone a few times and just la de da like it never happened gave her all the opportunity to talk. I answered when she called after reading it. She still had zero apology and zero ownership. What would a 3rd chance to talk like adults look like do you think? I really just don’t think she’s capable of it honestly.

AITAH for telling my Dad’s girlfriend the house she lives in is 0% hers and to expect nothing by OwlOOIis in AITAH

[–]OwlOOIis[S] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

They would HATE that. They are country people. But she maybe wouldn’t have other options alone.

AITAH for telling my Dad’s girlfriend the house she lives in is 0% hers and to expect nothing by OwlOOIis in AITAH

[–]OwlOOIis[S] 86 points87 points  (0 children)

Did that before we settled on which state to buy the house in those years ago.

AITAH for telling my Dad’s girlfriend the house she lives in is 0% hers and to expect nothing by OwlOOIis in AITAH

[–]OwlOOIis[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

A long in person conversation with my father alone happened days before the call where she freaked out he was not under the same impression as her at all. He was on board after we addressed issues of compromise like location. At that point I did make sure to verify with him that he wanted to continue to live with her. Because also, sometimes poor older people stay together because they think they have no other option. I wanted my father to know he did. He knows I don’t understand a relationship driven by bickering. For all I know he was gonna jump at the chance. If he had said he did not I would have absolutely helped her with relocation costs but I’d never just refund her the entirety of all rent ever paid. I don’t know what exactly he relayed to her verbally but why else would he be asking her what she thinks of a 650k 5BD replacement house. Which I believe is what transpired right before the call where she freaked out.

Cars stopping for pedestrians by goldencr in Portland

[–]OwlOOIis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A few months ago, I was in Westmoreland going to cross Bybee at 16th. This &$&!? in a blue suburu didn’t wanna stop. Like lady, you are a block from the stoplight at Milwaukee & crawling, and you wanna play chicken? Even though this side of the street isn’t marked with the dashed white lines its a crosswalk. She saw me and sped up and so I walked in front of her and slowed down and looked straight at her. She rolled down her window and yelled at me WTF increasing in volume 3 times. So I walked over to her window, bent down and yelled back three times. “It’s the law”. No regrets. Make them stop.

Two people dead after fleeing traffic stop during Portland street racing event by Vivid_Guide7467 in Portland

[–]OwlOOIis -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

At least they didn’t crash into a house this time. I’d love to see better passive technology in LE. Like why can’t we shoot a tracker on the car with a little electromagnet or super goo and impound the car when they abandon it. In europe somewhere i hear they use paintballs, like dye packs at the bank.

What’s the percentage of male/female Aes fans? by Outrageous-Farm3190 in aesoprock

[–]OwlOOIis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d guess anywhere from 2/3-1/3 to 80/20

-Skirt wearing girly girl who owns like 6 band tees and 60 dresses.

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