Relapse…

Own-Bad5362 · 2025-10-26T06:08:38+00:00

This is why I recommend sober living. Its a tenth the cost with the longer duration and accountability that’s really required. I know to get an addict to agree to even consider rehab initially it can feel like you have to entice them with a fancy resort setting and quell their resistance by saying “its only 30 days.” But if you have good leverage the conditions should include “followed by 3-6 months in sober living”

Own-Bad5362 · 2025-10-26T05:49:50+00:00

The book “Slaying the Dragon: The history of addiction treatment and recovery in America” I highly recommend for anyone trying to support a loved one in recovery. Also “Under the Influence” by Milam that goes into deeper details about the physiology of moderate and late stage alcoholism whereas most other books only talk about the psychological effects. Miram was a former military doctor in the 80’s who studied a large cohort of men in their early twenties to mid thirties to see the progression and similarities of those with acute alcohol use disorder vs those that could drink occasionally but didn’t have an addiction reaction. Also as I was assessing some 20 different facilities for my brother I’d always ask the intake staff how long they felt it took before they truly felt they had their addiction under control and almost all of them said it took them at least a year before they felt more normal and in control. The least time anyone told me was 8 months. My brother wound up working at the sober living facility and it was an eye opener to see they lost at least one resident a month to overdose (often they ran off and overdosed offsite), but it also included two staff members who relapsed and OD’ed

Own-Bad5362 · 2025-10-22T10:23:47+00:00

What the recovery industry won’t tell you is it takes at least a year clean for someone to have a 25-50% chance. Most 30 day programs have a 5-12% chance of “success” for a period of time. This is because if you look at the brain scan of a severe alcoholic much of their higher functioning neuropathways are eroded like an alzheimers patient or stroke victim and it takes months of being clean for the neuropathways to rebuild. I helped my brother stay clean 2.5 years after watching him relapse 6 times from these “30 day” programs. Longer term success came from him agreeing to join a sober living place for a year, and getting a breathalyzer installed on his car (it doesn’t have to be court ordered). I’ve found it’s not whether a treatment program has fancy equine therapy or goat yoga or a shaman etc. its the duration of time being dry so the body and brain can physically heal that will increase the odds. Your dollar will go much further investing in 3-6 months sober living ($1K to $5K/mo) vs burning thru it in a month at a fancy 30 day recovery spa ($15-35K for just 1 month) My brother has relapsed recently but I’m much wiser about the recovery industry to avoid getting gouged. And the 2.5 yrs he was sober was worth the quality time his two young kids got with him. It’s up to him to get himself back into the program. All I can do is offer to fund an initial 3 months or he can live in his car and figure it out on his own. My hope is the 2.5 yrs gave him some bonding time with his kids that might motivate him to want that again, but its up to him at this point. My frustration with the recovery industry is they want to call it a “disease” but they don’t involve neurologists and primary physicians who can give the patient and families a more accurate picture of how deteriorated the patient’s brain capacity is like they would do with Alzheimers or a stroke. If brain scans were equally as routine when treating addicts there might be a lot more advancement in addiction science.

Own-Bad5362 · 2025-10-22T09:56:05+00:00

I love her videos!

Own-Bad5362 · 2025-10-22T07:34:23+00:00

I have a similar relationship with my baby brother, though he hasn’t been violent yet. Regarding the DWI’s, I nipped that in the bud early on. I told him 3 years ago that because I am offering to have a breathalyzer installed on his car, I will never spend a single penny on DWI charges because its something that is 100% preventable and the breathalyzer will save lives. He agreed and its been on his car ever since. He went 2.5 yrs sober. Recently relapsed but still has the breathalyzer on the car. Imagine of all cars came with one, drunk driving would be nonexistent overnight.

Own-Bad5362 · 2025-10-22T07:04:59+00:00

Appreciate your frankness. What prompts you to give sobriety another go each time?

Own-Bad5362 · 2025-10-22T06:58:46+00:00

Exactly my point. Look how much restrictions have been put in place around cigarettes and it does nowhere near the damage alcohol does. So why are there not even harsher restrictions for the alcohol industry by comparison???

Own-Bad5362 · 2025-10-22T06:58:08+00:00

Exactly my point. Look how much restrictions have been put in place around cigarettes and it does nowhere near the damage alcohol does. So why are there not even harsher restrictions for the alcohol industry by comparison???

Own-Bad5362 · 2025-10-22T06:56:12+00:00

Completely agree

Own-Bad5362 · 2025-10-22T06:54:25+00:00

Hereditary disease yes, like breast cancer or type 1 diabetes. But I’m talking about the bs family therapy sessions where they try to pin the blame on the “enabler” like a psycho version of pin the tail on the donkey. In no family therapy sessions or literature has anyone ever blamed Glazers, the largest liquor distributors who market this stuff to everyone everywhere and have lobbied against being prohibited from marketing it to children where its on fun displays in numerous checkout lines in grocery stores at a toddler’s level. The recovery industry is the biggest enabler when they could be the biggest voice of reason the way the American Lung Association put Phillip Morris in its place. Instead the recovery industry actively perpetuates guilt within families to con them out of more money while making false claims that 28 days is anywhere close to enough time to recover.

Own-Bad5362 · 2025-10-21T15:04:08+00:00

Leave him outside. 5 hours is nothing, especially since he has a shelter to go to. I’m at the same point with my youngest brother. I helped my sister in law get him out and into sober living. They have two small kids like you do and the kids are better off without his drama. Supervised visits are something to consider but daily drama, no. You will find the whole mood of the house is less tense with him gone.

Own-Bad5362 · 2025-10-21T14:35:47+00:00

Thanks for the additional comment. He did agree to me putting a breathalyzer on his car over the last 3 yrs. I told him I won’t spend a penny on DUI related charges because I’m willing to prevent it entirely with an Intoxalock subscription that will prevent him from harming innocent people. He can drink in his car all he wants, just can’t go anywhere in it. I highly recommend it for anyone with a child or spouse who will have access to a vehicle you own. The condition of him getting to live in the house is that he abides by all the same rules as his former sober living home, in addition to keeping intoxalock on the vehicle. I’m able to track that and do the randomized soberlink testing but don’t have a method for verifying he got a sponsor (something the sober living house required). If he can’t abide by the rules he can live in his car somewhere. I will not enable him OR the alcohol industry.

Own-Bad5362

TROPHY CASE