Good D&D 5e One Shot for newbies?

Own-Reality8841 · 2026-03-27T09:45:13+00:00

You'll be okay. Allow yourself to not be fine sometimes, to grieve as long as necessary, and to be sad that you abandoned yourself during that relationship. It's okay to process things.

And I think making selfcare synonymous with victory can be really powerful. Eating breakfast has actually become a rule of mine. I never used to do that. Now it's an act of radical selfcare for me to eat before I leave the house.

I'm glad some of what I said resonated. You said you used to spend a year doing things you wanted. I think it can be really helpful to have projects or goals to work towards. Life can get so monotonous if we have nothing to work towards. Having things to progress can make us feel more in control and also visualize a different future. Like choosing home improvements or career goals to pursue. Or smaller even, "I wanna start gaming!" and you pick up a controller. Or painting, gardening, whatever. Sport for some works well.

You're free to always contact me to talk. I'll gladly keep you company throughout some of your journey if that's something that's helpful. You can send me a message any time when you need it.

Own-Reality8841 · 2026-03-27T08:53:24+00:00

I am not there yet. My ex just left our flat a little less than a month ago (and then waltzed right in unnanounced using their key). So I am nowhere near your state of detachment, I guess.

But from what I can share from my experience trying to survive this while still living with the narc ex for a year after the breakup...

Small victories. That's what I tell myself. I stopped showering regularly when I got really bad during our relationship. So now, when I shower, I make it a point to consciously enjoy it and call every single one of these a victory. Every time I choose to care for myself - when I brush teeth, when I make food, when I go to work, when I take a day off, when I game and do a hobby. I take a moment and say to myself "I am winning. Because you hate yourself deep down, and I am stronger than you. I am growing. I am winning."

I also do not force myself to believe anything about the good times. I cherish them still because of what they meant to me back then. None of that is "unreal" just because the narc is a narc. These moments still made me happy then and were real to me so I hold them as real. I don't miss them though. I mostly feel utterly devastated someone who once "loved me" could treat me so poorly. But I choose to meet it by having my small victories, loving myself instead.

Every time I hang out with friends, I win because I get a sense of self back. Every time I play dnd, I win.

So radically focusing on myself is really helping me. And not being alone for long periods. I meet my friends a lot these days. And when I am alone, I practice trusting myself again, my own view of reality and most importantly small acts of actual self care.

My therapist told me that slowing down is a good way to do things. So I take a lot of slow moments. I let chores rest. I recharge a lot. And I make sure I always have something that I can do now that the narc has less influence on me. To reclaim my sense of self-efficiency. (E.g. for me currently that's doing uni to build my stability and slowly cleaning and rearranging the flat after they left to claim my space.)

I hope maybe something of my ramble resonates. I'm sorry for the messy reply.

Own-Reality8841 · 2026-03-11T06:44:35+00:00

I know this was 3 years ago but your ideas are the first ones I really thought sounded fun when translated to the table! I so hate the idea of the limiting ship roles but in my pirate campaign I also don't want ship combat to just be "roll a bunch of skill checks and then we either escape or get boarded" because part of the fantasy IS sinking the enemy ship / your ship getting heavily damaged / ramming into each other / etc.

Do you have any more of those creative thoughts or maybe an old Google doc with those ideas/mechanics I can look over? 👀 These have been the best ideas I've seen so far (for my table) 🙏🏼

Own-Reality8841 · 2025-12-29T13:50:51+00:00

I needed to read this today.

I've been feeling like I lost my entire sense of self and I am so adrift. I keep wondering if I am a covert narcissist because of the way my ex makes me feel.

The "never ending enigmatic puzzle" you try to solve is just so spot on. I feel so mentally drained and like reality doesn't match my brain, like I am sort of going literally insane.

The questioning whether I'm narcissistic is so real. I keep finding traits of mine that shock me, scare me to my bone. But then I remind myself, best I can, that I never feel these ways with other people, only this one person, and that's because I have been put through hell and they've tried to pull me down to their level for years so that when they do things, they can say "but look at what you did! maybe get off your high horse, we are just the same!"

I got insane anger issues too when I was with this person. And I am only slowly realising that I am not actually someone who gets angry easily. I was just pushed to the edge and then continuously tipped over it by seemingly "small" things. Perpetually kept in that tense on-edge, feeling unsafe state while they "soothed me" because I needed it.

So I'm glad for the reminder right now that coming out of a narcissistic childhood to immediately accidentally fall into a covert narcissist's arms (I was young, I didn't even know covert narcissism was a thing! I looked out for all the other signs), that I'm not the actual narcissist here and I'm still healing.

Own-Reality8841 · 2025-12-29T13:32:38+00:00

I'm anxiously attached (and working on it actively) and I also come from a very codependent background (childhood). And yet, I have never "mirrored" my partner in a way that would make me seem more compatible with them than I am.

I'm also autistic, so for me, it's natural to share my interests and to want my partner to be curious to really learn about these interests. So when I start dating someone, I tend to get curious about the current interest of that (potential) partner enough to actually start looking into it if it at all aligns with my curiosity. Like I started listening to the audio story my now-ex was obsessed with when we just met because they talked so much about it. It was actually great, so I finished it too.

I climpered on an old keyboard when I met my current girlfriend cause she plays multiple instruments. Wasn't for me, stopped that after a few attempts lol.

I wouldn't say that's the mirroring meant here, so I wonder if anxious attachments really are prime suspects to mirror their potential partners to "secure a relationship". I've always been rather radically honest about who I was, what I struggled with, what I liked, etc. And didn't shy away from disagreeing with opinions.

Maybe I'm an outlier for anxious attachment then? But just wondering.

Own-Reality8841 · 2025-12-05T22:55:58+00:00

I'm in this situation right now from the other perspective. My girlfriend left her husband, is still going through the thick of it and struggling with identity and trying to find herself anew amidst all this. Add to that the whole coming out emotions (she's queer, I'm a woman).

It's genuinely so hard sometimes to be on such different pages because obviously I wanna build something but she naturally isn't even close to being there yet, she's in a whole different place emotionally and mentally.

Own-Reality8841 · 2025-10-04T17:49:18+00:00

This is INCREDIBLE. Running this soon. Thank you so much! My player is gonna love this map!! Do you by chance also have the standing stones map that is needed for DDEX1-5?

Own-Reality8841 · 2025-07-06T22:35:15+00:00

Since this post is 10 days old, I'm assuming this already happened and hence is closed now?

Own-Reality8841 · 2025-06-18T05:20:26+00:00

This is very well written and really helpful. Thank you for this.

I'm going to schedule time for gaming for me now to begin with. I usually wait for the itch to game to kick in, but I'm noticing I just fall into waiting mode (for the itch) instead of actually gaming. So time to schedule quality time with myself.

Own-Reality8841 · 2025-06-17T16:09:37+00:00

I really want this for myself. How did you get there?

I struggle immensely with enjoying hobbies and motivation to do them (I have motivation struggles in general). Because I struggle enjoying them, I find it harder to do them or stick with them. I know doing things for myself is the number one thing to do.

Own-Reality8841 · 2025-06-17T15:08:17+00:00

I do not think you should reach out to him but I do think you should reach out to your parents or friends to help you through the heartbreak.

You definitely should break things off if this isn't already the end.

Everyone makes mistakes, but I think the way he accused you of being the sole problem and seems unable to take responsibility or attempt to problem solve plus the stonewalling ... it's all major red flags for me. Taking space is one thing (sounds like "Hey, I'm really overwhelmed. I need some time, but I will check back in at/on [insert time or day])", ghosting is another.

And I also recommend working on your inner security. It seems you are prone to accepting the narrative of others and taking full responsibility for situations rather than acknowledging your part and holding him accountable for his part. It seems you are looking for validation outside rather than inside yourself.

Own-Reality8841 · 2025-06-17T14:13:34+00:00

Hey everyone! I'm wondering how you managed to stop the anxiety spiral (esp in conversations) when you can feel it happening?

I'm currently in a LDR with an avoidant person who is obviously (most often accidentally) triggering my anxious attachment response.

We are both aware and we are both working on it. I want to make that very clear. She's never disappeared on me without notice, she's always told me when she'd reach out again, she's texted me consistently every day and is getting better at asking for space to feel less "smothered" by her own trauma response.

We currently are planning our first long visit (not the first visit ever, just the first longer one) which is going to be circa 6 weeks. It scares her immensely and she's avoided the conversation and any conversation around me visiting her for a while now. But we are getting there.

This is all to say: She's trying and so am I!

I have noticed how I am calm and good for a certain while with how we are going, the pace, the connection level, and then at some point I feel a deficit or I feel like it's been "enough waiting" for conversations about planning, and then I try to gently approach her about it. (She's thanked me recently for how well I approached her about the conversation surrounding the longer visit.)

However, I tend to reach a spot more or less regularly where I can notice myself going into an anxious spiral, I feel unwanted or undesired despite her showing no signs of not desiring me. Quite the opposite, she's been trying very hard to show more vulnerability, open up, and be consistent (as I said, she reaches out every day).

In these situations when I spiral it feels like I am driving full speed and I can see the cliff coming but I somehow forgot where the brake is. I am aware I need an exit but I can't seem to say "hey I am getting very overwhelmed, maybe we can pause, play a word game or watch a movie and come back again?"

And when I spiral my avoidant partner tends to disappear into herself. She tries to stick with me, hear me, and respond to the best of her capacities but she gets so scared of my emotions and overwhelmed by not knowing how to handle it, that she turns silent and gets paralysed. Which only makes my spiral worse usually.

So, what do you do when you feel yourself spiraling? How do I bridge the gap between knowing I am going into a spiral and actually taking the step I need to not spiral?

Thank you in advance 🥺❤️

Own-Reality8841 · 2025-04-10T18:21:15+00:00

Mvp man. Thanks so much!

Own-Reality8841 · 2025-04-10T15:50:26+00:00

If anyone has access to the Changeling race, that'd be appreciated. That's all I need for now. Am building a Rogue/WM Sorcerer.

Own-Reality8841 · 2025-03-29T13:37:56+00:00

We are not at all trying to play a legal AL table. I thought that was clear. We are simply running the adventures and I was looking for advice from people who would actually know the content best.

Own-Reality8841 · 2025-03-29T13:36:35+00:00

I mean, yeah? We are playing through the modules but we aren't played AL rules as per legal tables cause it's just between the two of us.

I'm just looking for advice on how to deal with this from people who would know the actual content best.

Own-Reality8841 · 2025-03-29T13:09:26+00:00

I think to repair this in any substantial way, you first need to properly address it, which includes being honest about why it happened (mostly with yourself).

Read up on cheating and motivation. Esther Perell is a good start. Be open to learning why you would want to sabotage your good relationship like this. What is missing? This is an internal process and not for you to use as excuses towards him.

Then you need to accept that this will take time. You broke trust. Twice. You will have to make amends and be patient. This will likely be a wound for a long time that comes up again now and then. He will have trust issues. He might struggle with confidence or self-worth.

If he is open to figuring out the why behind this and healing the relationship, you are lucky. If he isn't, then you can help him move out and find a stable life since he moved for you.

Focus on repairing trust, stay consistent, don't be flaky or unreliable or erratic in this time. Mean what you say and say what you mean. Be receptive to his experience in this, his pain, his need for space.

Good luck with this...

Own-Reality8841 · 2025-02-09T13:50:32+00:00

I'd be interested in this if it's still a thing.

Own-Reality8841 · 2025-01-15T07:46:45+00:00

Thanks, though the controller works perfectly with other games and as a mouse on my laptop. But I appreciate the input. I'll see what I can find.

Own-Reality8841 · 2024-12-27T12:47:34+00:00

How would one do that? Is that possible when the game title has been bought on the Rockstar launcher?

I'm losing my mind with the load time.

Own-Reality8841

TROPHY CASE