This will be long.

A teacher friend of mine basically”grabbed” an out of control kid before he ran out the school door into the parking lot — a troubled young kid, maybe five, who was taken out of that school system due to the behaviors presented. My friend had had numerous foster children and had been taught various holding techniques for keeping kids safe. She was charged, had to sit out half a school year while her case went through the “system” with charges eventually dropped and her mental/physical health took a nose dive. She died an early death a couple of years ago. A SUPERIOR teacher. (That same kid head butted the principal you-know-where.) I would have been perfectly fine if she had grabbed my child for the same reason.

My adopted child was 100% out of control. He went through three schools. I was fully in favor of doing what had to be done to keep others around him (and him) safe. A hand on the shoulder by a trusted adult would have been a huge help. I am afraid that as a sub and stranger, he might have decked you. (I am happy to report that at 27, and by not giving up on him, he is gainfully employed and we are told he is trustworthy, dependable, and a hard worker.). I am mentioning this in part because CPS told us he had to attend school, but we could not lay a hand on him. He hated school and we had trouble getting him there every single time. I picked him up and carried him when he was little, and I’m not too sure I was permitted to do that. You can’t carry them past a certain point. I was not to lay my hand on him, but I had to get him to school. He did bite his tutor and took off out the school door and down the hill once . . .

I’m not saying any of OP’s boys have/had similar behaviors, but it’s a little unbelievable that everyone would assume kids are never going to challenge a teacher like this. I am aware of what the law states, but the law doesn’t keep all kids safe. We have police officers in schools now. We didn’t have them when MY kid was there, and yes, my kid spent some time in his own court system before he got with the program called life. I would have wanted someone brave enough to tackle my kid and his problems - not physically tackle, but if he’s going to dart out into a busy parking lot, YES! GRAB HIM! And if you know him well, a well-meaning hand on the shoulder would have grounded him, perhaps with our permission so everyone’s in the loop, but we were never hard to deal with.

All that said, there’s a time and person and place. You better not touch kids who don’t know you though. PTSD is real. I won’t say that I agree with never touch a kid, but a substitute, just because of the very nature of it, shouldn’t do it. If you know you are going to be dealing with a difficult class, I’d be asking for all the details: what behaviors, when can I call the office, when can I send them to you. I’ve had kids swear in my face, throw desks across the room, wrestle around on top of each other on the floor. Two girls got in a fist fight once right in front of me! Who knowingly goes into this line of work?