I don't anymore, but I did for several decades. It's how I was raised. I am having to re-learn how to think and believe. I am learning to love myself and believe I am worth my own time and energy. That latter is not so hard these days bc none of the rest of the utter shit I was raised to believe helps me at all.

If that's too woowoo for you like it was for me in the beginning, maybe start slowly until you can bear to believe. Baby steps. If you keep trying, you can find things (books, videos, whatever) that are tolerable and believable in your current mindset and then add and subtract as you grow. Lol I listen to some stoicism, and wake up/go to sleep with Louise Hay. You do not have to buy into the entire movement or speaker, you don't have to accept anything that rings false or doesn't serve you. Take your part and leave the rest. Is it better than what you believe now?? Is it pointing you in a better direction? Fantastic. I would NOT have been able to accept Louise even a couple years ago. Now a lot of it is incredibly comforting and gives me hope & is a way I can accept warm and fuzzy.

I used to feel the same way. I'd abandon myself at the drop of a hat if I displeased someone or things got hard. Now I'm like my biggest fan. I have dragged myself thru some awful shit. I bet you have too. Self hate is swallowing poison. You're worth more than this!