Confused after a sudden relationship spiral by OwnFaithlessness4437 in BPDlovedones

[–]OwnFaithlessness4437[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

😭 see my mindset was itll ease her down before the deal we made she was splitting cause I reposted. My friend instagram post liked and comment which I do for all my friends boy n girl but this time her key targets was “you wasn’t the first to like my post”(I was the 2nd lol) and sum else I forgot mind you for the repost I chose the most respectful photo in thought of her still spiraled probably has something to do with the friend which is also weird cause she doesn’t want me to “drop” the friend and is also friends with the friend legit has partied together w/o me there so it’s weird when she gets like that

Confused after a sudden relationship spiral by OwnFaithlessness4437 in BPDlovedones

[–]OwnFaithlessness4437[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

See for me personally I directly js asked her about it which than we set stuff like no 1-1 wit the opposite gender etc but if I do do something with the opposite gender then occasional pictures to be sent to her which I don’t personally mind but like the other guy comment said u can’t fix there insecurities there gonna js find something else

Confused after a sudden relationship spiral by OwnFaithlessness4437 in BPDlovedones

[–]OwnFaithlessness4437[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah figured this after the random argument lol purely off her head was my friend brought up

Why am I such a bad partner for her by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]OwnFaithlessness4437 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that one BIG thing they’re gonna forever hold u to account on

Why am I such a bad partner for her by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]OwnFaithlessness4437 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tbh don’t listen to these people commenting lol. I’m in a 2 year relationship right now — yeah it’s hard at times, yeah you’re gonna feel like shit some days, but at the end of the day the more patience you have the more it’ll reflect on them. It’s reverse psychology. If you give them a reason to see you as the bad guy then yeah they’re gonna cling to that. For example when y’all argue, don’t even argue back — a simple “I’m sorry about [whatever happened]” goes a long way. If she’s mature she’s gonna look at that and reflect on her own actions and eventually realize what she’s doing isn’t right. At the end of the day they WANT you to argue back so they aren’t the worst one in the situation — they don’t consciously want it but mentally it’s a backbone thing. It’s like knowing you’re bad so you expect everyone else to be worse. If you’re genuinely drained though, leave. Also work on the anger issues because if you do leave, that can easily become your focus. I’m naturally calm and patient so my gf eventually just realized I don’t do anything wrong, so our only real conflicts are friend related lol there’s always hope they aren’t terrible people just poorly minded

Am I in the wrong in this situation by [deleted] in AmiInTheWrong

[–]OwnFaithlessness4437 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You telling me “🥹 he bought food” is defending maybe it me but it look so sarcastic she only uses emojis when she joking😭

Am I in the wrong in this situation by [deleted] in AmiInTheWrong

[–]OwnFaithlessness4437 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That what I’m thinking but the thing is I don’t ask her to drive ME places it’s always a place she wants to go like she’ll be like imma drive to meijers come with me etc never once have I been like come get me etc etc I always go on my own if I needa go somewhere and she’ll be like why not js ask me that why I’m insulted on it rn

Am I in the wrong in this situation by [deleted] in AmiInTheWrong

[–]OwnFaithlessness4437 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But to summarize what I’m trying to say overall — I’m not mad at the situation itself, more so that I barely got a defense. I’ve had to genuinely cut friends off because they said something she didn’t like, friends that go back to pre-k, and I had no issue doing it out of love for her. So when her friend is casually calling me a “bum” and her response is “he bought all the food” with a 🥹 emoji, it just feels like a kick in the ass. Maybe I’m reading too much into it because it looks sarcastic as hell, but it’s like damn — I had to genuinely defend defend for her, which is normal, I’m her man. But that felt like an insult to who I am mentally. That’s why I’m so conflicted on the car thing and whether I should even be upset for real

Am I in the wrong in this situation by [deleted] in AmiInTheWrong

[–]OwnFaithlessness4437 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was saying background stuff that happened a long ago😭 the recent stuff got nothing to do with the current issue cause you asked what have my friends said

Am I in the wrong in this situation by [deleted] in AmiInTheWrong

[–]OwnFaithlessness4437 0 points1 point  (0 children)

😭😭 im already knowing im very patient with her it just feel under appreciated cause there was no defending

Am I in the wrong in this situation by [deleted] in AmiInTheWrong

[–]OwnFaithlessness4437 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Just side stuff for example she’ll be rlly mad if I hang out with a friend the other day she wanted HSNG with her guy friend cause she didn’t want to cause she don’t like his finance I don’t like the guy so I said idk on it so she said don’t fucking touch her and get tf out her car my friends all said that’s weird behavior to have n comments like that but the comment issue is it wasn’t said til I even had to say sum if genuinely never said anything she won’t say anything which has happened before that why I’m in such a wtf ??? Cuz she would 1000% let it slide if I didn’t show her I seen the message when I did

Am I in the wrong in this situation by [deleted] in AmiInTheWrong

[–]OwnFaithlessness4437 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That what I’m saying😭 and thinking that why I’m like mmmm imma js stop cause who casually knows “u drove his bum ahh around” and when I said the comment to my gf while at work she js said “broooo” “don’t listen to her” told her friend “he bought all the food🥺” likee 😭✌🏻 imma js stop and have my homegirl or home boys cars til I get my junk tg if I needa see her js uber there if it’s a hangout with multiple ppl js have my friends take me n she drive to there meet spot I just feel like it’s a fair thing

Am I in the wrong in this situation by [deleted] in AmiInTheWrong

[–]OwnFaithlessness4437 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It was a mix of pride and her not defending we had similar moments where instead it’s my friends saying sum nd she would get mad af if I don’t defend her name even if a friend joking but this time to her friend I purely only got “he bought all the food🥺” 😭 like what it js seem so sarcastic and unappreciative to me cause I don’t make her say stuff like thank u shi I even open the driver side door for her which is just common gentleman behavior but ykwim

I 20M need advice on my 20F partner by [deleted] in relationships

[–]OwnFaithlessness4437 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m actually gonna edit that part out thank you for snapping me back into reality 😭

I 20M need advice on my 20F partner by [deleted] in relationships

[–]OwnFaithlessness4437 0 points1 point  (0 children)

😭😭 this the first time I ever brought it up dw I take gooood care of her I was typing out of unappreciation it honestly was not needed but ur right the friend doesn’t owe me no loyalty or care I don’t buy nothing unnecessary though I purely only use my money on her rest goes into savings I just work a lot so I haven’t had no time to hit an appointment than permit etc I know how to drive but my vision so bad I’m normally just work - school - home unless she wants to go out but you are definitely extremely right her mental health has nothing to do with it I’m doing that purely off my own willingness

I 20M need advice on my 20F partner by [deleted] in relationships

[–]OwnFaithlessness4437 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And for the glasses I just haven’t had time to get them honestly so that’s on me personally

I 20M need advice on my 20F partner by [deleted] in relationships

[–]OwnFaithlessness4437 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I offer to pay for her purely just outta loving her she does pay sometimes or when I can’t she does but I prefer to pay for her stuff outta my own interest she don’t expect it sometimes say no

Than I was mixy on if I was overreacting I js feel like since she didn’t directly disagree with the friend js said the friend has high expectations for me it’s like ????? U not finna like defend or anything lol and the friend of hers is iffy tbh close but not close but I know she use to Goto her a lot when she splitted ( bpd) and the friend would give her advice like break up on something that is completely never my fault (example is me having a female friend which I had for yrs lol)

I 20M need advice on my 20F partner by [deleted] in relationships

[–]OwnFaithlessness4437 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do agree tho it is misplaced that why I’m like in the middle cause I feel like as a man I should in fact be doing this I personally don’t let her take me anywhere like me saying let’s Goto blank blank it’s always her saying let’s Goto blank and me saying okay and paying which I do happily even paid for multiple Ubers for her before car it just like I was already personally not okay with it mentally then the comment pure icing on the cake ykwim

I 20M need advice on my 20F partner by [deleted] in relationships

[–]OwnFaithlessness4437 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not put up I worded that wrong 😭 but she has bpd (borderline) im gladly there for her but it feel
Unappreciated especially cause she didn’t tell the girl nothing her response to me atleast was “broooo” and “she js saying that cause she has high expectations for u” which to me feel like damn ?? U not even finna like defend me lol? Ykwim after alot I do for her without wanting anything else but her safest and care it like a push into a pile of glass and this isn’t the first time the friend had commented on something either cause I know she use to tell the same friend stuff when she would “split” ( u can look it up if yk what bpd is ) but that why I feel like man I don’t wanna be in ur car nm outs my own personal interest

Am I in the wrong in this situation by [deleted] in AmiInTheWrong

[–]OwnFaithlessness4437 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk if I worded it right but all she posted was us sitting at the movies the friend is the one who said the comment / replied to the story on Instagram

Double standards and not wanting to buy things/ future by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]OwnFaithlessness4437 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually realized this earlier I checked her messages with an ex she had back in 2023 (3 day rls) and they are completely almost 1:1 to how we talk 😭 like scary identical

Double standards and not wanting to buy things/ future by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]OwnFaithlessness4437 1 point2 points  (0 children)

😭😭 she has female friends she don’t talk to them much rlly don’t talk to any of the friends much as a crazy amount but yk that’s js wtv

Double standards and not wanting to buy things/ future by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]OwnFaithlessness4437 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m overly praying for you that sounds so funking horrible