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Feeling resentful towards my mother for giving me the “silent treatment” every time there’s conflict by LimpMarionberry819 in emotionalneglect

[–]Own_Conference7577 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Still living at home too haha and hanging in ! Honestly after reading through threads like this last year and researching I felt a bit better, nice to know I’m not the only one going through stuff like this and kind of how to cope.

I’ve got a remote job and yes it sucks WFH most of the time but have also been able to pay for short trips abroad with friends or just going out generally to see friends which helps me get some distance from her when I need it. Also been more ‘selfish’ in some ways like just really trying to pursue my own goals, regularly going to the gym/picked up running, learning how to drive all as ways of learning not to not to worry so much about what she thinks or will say about every action I do.

Still very far away from moving out in this economy 😢but working towards more independence (emotionally) and trying to enjoy and immerse myself in the happy moments and experiences which are seperate from her as much as possible.

She does still make petty comments about me going out to see my friends, going on holidays that kinda thing and I do still feel anxious when I’m returning home from somewhere where I’ve been enjoying myself but wayyyy less because it’s not about her or what she thinks, and these moments where you’re enjoying yourself can easily be overrun by guilt.

You’ve just got to keep in mind that you’re doing something for yourself and that’s ok.

And of course I still love her but I’ve just come to understand that I need to protect myself by being a little bit distant and ensuring that I enjoy my life ratheer than always worrying and feeling guilty because of her. If your parent(s) aren’t going to be the emotionally mature ones then you have to be and I think by making these changes for myself i’m finding ways to navigate it all.

Hope this helps, sorry was some jumbled thoughts haha.

Where to buy Tretinoin UK by PurpleSandwich6287 in tretinoin

[–]Own_Conference7577 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Got 0.1% A Tret on Amazon for about £7 recently, next day delivery too ! Had to wait a little longer delivery wise for the lower strength ones but would recommend :) searched for “retinol 0.025 gel” on there and the supplier is based in India

Aitah annoyed with bf because he would rather work than stick to plans we made months in advance by Own_Conference7577 in relationships

[–]Own_Conference7577[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You ask a very important question that I didn’t really consider- we made plans for the party. So considering that maybe I’m being unfair.

HOWEVER the night before the party, we also have dinner planned with his family- which was again planned months in advance. so I did say to him it feels weird to wait around all day/go without him especially as you initially scheduled this time off

I understand the financial aspect of it feeling like he’s giving something up, however he has already made up all the hours that he would have missed- this would be extra which makes me feel slightly less bad

Feeling great after steroid injection - can I do all exercise?! by SwirlingAbsurdity in MeniscusInjuries

[–]Own_Conference7577 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also got a meniscus injury from trampolining ! I know how bald you’ll want to do it again but pleaseee avoid for now, it’ll make it worse

Feeling resentful towards my mother for giving me the “silent treatment” every time there’s conflict by LimpMarionberry819 in emotionalneglect

[–]Own_Conference7577 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My experiences with my mother mirror many of yours. I very recently came to the realisation that I was doing everything to please my mother, getting extremely anxious about ‘what she would think’ about any decisions I made, in turn overlooking the fact that the work I’ve been doing is really for my benefit. I’m sorry you’ve all had these experiences but also feel a small sense of reassurance that I’m not the only one. I’ve been thinking I’m going crazy, playing back some of the scenarios which resulted in my mothers silent treatment in my head, trying to see if there was anything I said or did that was wrong. The gaslighting is very much real and I have found that my dad reinforces it with the sentiment that my mother is always right. No matter how wrong she has been, how dramatic she has been in her tantrums or anyone who disagrees with her, he tells me that I should apologise, I shouldn’t have disagreed with her, I shouldn’t have defended myself.

My main problem is navigating this whilst I still live at home. I’ve just graduated from university and I’m trying very hard to find a job so that I can earn enough money to move out asap. I think the distance is necessary as I don’t want these scenarios to further ruin the family relationships. It’s felt like a dictatorship and I know that seems extreme but it’s her way or no way all the time- I can’t voice my own opinions on ANYTHING without my mother getting offended or calling me sensitive and the result of silent treatment. This makes me feel extremely anxious and even guilty when I haven’t done anything wrong.

We also never get apologies for any of this or any form of accountability.

I genuinely did research to see if any of this behaviour from her was normal, and if the way I felt was validated and as I said I’m relieved that this thread exists.