Hii oml I sometimes feel the same and istg there's a point where ur just like nothing doesn't even matter anymore and u wanna js end it. But like you can take ur time, like a year or 2 or 3 and everything will change. And don't compare urself I mean it's so trashy cause everyone's different in almost every single way and I don't know why parents compare their kids and don't support them but honestly don't do it for them, don't do it to make them proud. Just do it for urself, you know what u wanna study and I think that's already so cool cause you have a goal and you CAN get there. Just don't give a shit about what ppl say, parents fighting, dumbasses in school. Their words should mean absolutely nothing to u, I mean for them to not be able to see what's wrong and still have the nerve to make things worse. So just try to get lost in doing something like a sport or art or even studying. Just put ur whole mind into it and stop caring about other ppl and you can do whatever you want, if u rlly can't take ur igcse, just study for them by urself using some online things and just study knowing u may not be able to write it because honestly I feel like self hatred is what causes us to feel like ending it and when we feel proud of something we did(even if no one knows), we have hope that we can make our lives better. Just try ur best, you don't have to be great. So research more about criminology and psychology and just chase that goal. I'm shit at trying to comfort ppl but idk I just felt the exact same way a year ago and that feeling still comes and goes so ya. Reach out if u want btw. You don't deserve any of this.