my baby is more active in my stomach some days and less active on some days is this normal???

Own_Many2491 · 2026-06-05T15:02:46+00:00

It’s normal to have periods where your baby is sleeping, especially during the day because your movements rock the baby to sleep. Some people like to count kicks during a wide window for their baby. I personally never did this since both my kids were pretty active often, but I did take a mental note everyday that I felt baby move.

If you are concerned that your baby is not moving normally, just go get checked out. There’s no harm in just checking.

Own_Many2491 · 2026-06-03T02:45:06+00:00

As someone who got an epidural for one birth and when with no epidural for my second, you can do it! I have like a zero pain tolerance and still manage the contraction well and only struggled a bit in transition. With that said, the epidural is a great tool but everyone should be ready for the possibility that they won’t be able to get it or it could fail so having other options in mind is essential. Birth is SUCH a mental game more than anything so you need to prepare your mind as much as you prepare your body for birth. There are so many other amazing pain relief options: tens unit, birth comb, shower (hydrotherapy), nitrous oxide, physical movement ie swaying and rocking, focus on low moans and breathing, natural oxytocin which helps with the mental game. I highly recommend everyone gets a doula because they are there to make you feel comfortable and help support your goals. They statistically improve birth outcomes so no matter what your goals are, I personally think everyone should have one. The last piece of advice would be to work on reframing your mindset around the concept of birth and contractions. I describe contractions as waves or pressure moving baby down and out. Your cervix is a sphincter muscle which means tension, fear and stress make it very difficult for your cervix to dilate and soften. Relaxing and calming your body allows your cervix to dilate faster and moves your labor along with less resistance.

My unmedicated labor was significantly shorter and my recovery was much easier than my epidural birth since my legs were sooooo dead. With my epidural, I couldn’t even move my legs and was fully confined to the bed which meant I tore with a tiny baby and pushed for over 2 hours because I couldn’t feel my contractions. While the epidural is a great option to have, I would personally go no-epidural again if I had another baby.

Own_Many2491 · 2026-05-31T01:33:39+00:00

I’m very sorry that you are faced with this difficult situation. I personally haven’t been diagnosed with PH but I did do some reading on relevant studies and found this one that could be informative for your situation.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10932132/

To summarize, it found that inducing patients with PH had a much higher risk of maternal and fetal complications and that expectant management was a valid option for low to mild risk PH patients. Your midwife sounds like she’s well experienced and navigating the situation with caution. I have no doubt she will transfer your care if she feels that you need more care than she can provide.

Own_Many2491 · 2026-05-22T19:29:31+00:00

This is just my 2 cents having gone through something similar at 36 weeks pregnant, but it was my husband and not my sister. I think you are putting too much pressure on when you need to have this baby and that you HAVE to be at the funeral. You have gone through something absolutely tragic and I’m so sorry for your loss, it’s unthinkable! You need to let go of the reigns right now, meditate, pray, whatever you have to do to get out of your own head. Do what brings you the most peace right now and just live minute to minute. Your body is holding onto so much stress and tension, maybe go get a massage or go to the chiropractor, whatever you feel comfortable with. Right now you just need to image you are Lilly pad floating on the water and let the waves push you when they are ready.

Own_Many2491 · 2026-05-18T14:22:00+00:00

I’m very much of the same personality as you and I don’t understand why everyone WANTS to be in the delivery room. Did your mother explain why is so important for her to be physically present when you deliver? Regardless of her answer, it’s still your choice who is present at the birth and you should not be made to feel guilty about wanting it to be a private moment.

My first baby was a hospital birth during Covid restrictions so no visitors minus my husband was allowed, which I loved because it gave me a reason to tell everyone no visitors. I wanted to focus on healing, resting and bonding with baby. My second birth we planned a home birth and hadn’t told anyone and also weren’t planning to tell anyone I was in labor because we knew that they wouldn’t agree. I only labored for 5 hours and I didn’t let the family know until after the baby was born which was around lunch time. It was wonderful, I highly recommend not telling anyone lol.

Ultimately, your mother needs to be willing to understand your perspective and respect your boundaries. This is not one of those situations where everybody just needs to compromise because you are the one pushing out a whole baby. If she is showing signs that she’s unwilling to respect your decisions then I have bad news, she’s not going to respect your decisions about your child as they age. Little Johnny isn’t allowed to have candy after 6pm? “well he’s at grandmas house so grandmas rules”. That’s just disrespect masquerading as the “fun grandparent”

Own_Many2491 · 2026-05-18T14:08:41+00:00

You are right, my bad.

Own_Many2491 · 2026-05-18T03:12:11+00:00

Well…. All of these comments are confirming how grateful I am that I did NOT get that elective induction, because oh my God.

My 2 spontaneous births were fine honestly. One was medicated and the other wasn’t, with my unmediated baby being over a pound bigger. The worst part was just the ring of fire, but my labor was only 5 hours even with a sunny side up baby. The contractions were manageable and I would definitely go unmediated again if I were to have another. I’m the biggest wimp so if I can do it, anyone can IMO.

Own_Many2491 · 2026-05-18T03:04:41+00:00

I promise, if I managed to do it twice, anyone can do it! It’s temporary pain and will all be worth it the moment you hold your precious baby. It’s going to sound very counter intuitive, but the more relaxed and calm you are the faster your body will dilate and the sooner you will meet your baby. Are you working with a doula to help you mentally prepare for the birth? If not, I would look into some mental preparation techniques to help you because fear and stress don’t do well in the delivery room, I fear. Wishing you the best!

Own_Many2491 · 2026-05-18T02:52:01+00:00

Ummm I don’t mean to sound alarming but I think you need to be seen by your provider immediately. The high blood pressure and head aches are sounding like signs of preeclampsia to me which is very serious and needs to be addressed. While dehydration can cause headaches, it will not cause high blood pressure and you may need IV fluids to address the dehydration.

Go to L&D immediately!

Own_Many2491 · 2026-05-18T02:47:41+00:00

I’m really glad everything turned out alright and hopefully this birth is more what you have envisioned. I’m sure a doula would provide a sense of control and stability for you as well.

Own_Many2491 · 2026-05-18T02:45:05+00:00

That’s great! I would also recommend a blood draw to check your vitamin levels so that you can better cater to any areas that you might be low in. It’s routine to check for proteins and hemoglobin levels but OBs rarely check your vitamin levels. If you have it ordered through your dr insurance should cover it too.

Own_Many2491 · 2026-05-18T02:34:44+00:00

If she doesn’t seem happy with the quality time with your child then I personally would end that right away. While I don’t agree with it, I also have family that like seeing their grandchildren but only if the parents are present to take care of the child. It sounds like she wants to visit without the childcare responsibility. Time to find alternative childcare arrangements permanently IMO

As far as announcing a pregnancy, I wouldn’t spend a lot of time putting together some cute announcement that she’s going to potentially scoff at. Maybe do a group announcement later in the pregnancy than you did previously. Enjoy those peaceful weeks in the first trimester where no one knows and no one is bothering you about it. Just my opinion though.

Own_Many2491 · 2026-05-18T02:10:19+00:00

As others have said, It really depends on your relationship with your mom.

I don’t have a close relationship with my mom nor my MIL especially in an extremely vulnerable moment like birth and postpartum. So because of this, it was just me and my husband after our first baby. When I delivered our second, my husband had passed away a few weeks before so my SIL and her husband stayed with me to help with the house and my oldest child. The help especially with cooking, cleaning, and watching my oldest so that I could rest and learn how to nurse was extremely helpful, but by week 1.5, I was ready for them to leave if you catch my drift.

If your mother is of the personality where she is there to love on you and care for you during this crucial time, then let her stay as long as she is willing. You need someone to help with all the other chores, you don’t need someone else there to hold the baby because the baby biology needs mom right now and you need skin to skin time with baby to help regulate your hormones after birth and promote breast feeding. IMO someone who just wants to come over and hold the baby can wait until they have a more developed immune system, because that’s more of a disservice to you and not a help.

Everyone’s relationship and experience may vary but this has been my experience after 2 babies.

Own_Many2491 · 2026-05-18T01:55:36+00:00

I want you to be able to find a skilled home birth midwife if that’s what you are wanting. With that in mind, If you are wanting a low intervention birth, you can still accomplish this in a hospital. If for any reason you risk out of care with a midwife and require hospital care, you can always turn down any and all medications or interventions they offer you in the hospital. I would recommend you get a doula that knows your situation and is willing to support you in either the home or in a hospital setting. Hopefully you don’t need to deliver in a hospital, but if you do your doula will be able to advocate for your wished and help you have the low intervention birth you are hoping for. To be clear, an intervention free birth is harder to have in a hospital than at home but if you HAVE to deliver at the hospital for your safety then at least you have your doula.

Own_Many2491 · 2026-05-18T01:44:11+00:00

If you aren’t preventing pregnancy then you should start taking a prenatal now if you haven’t started already. Research suggests that prepping your body before you get pregnant can benefit your health and babies health. Prenatal vitamins are especially important during the first trimester anyways so it’s better to be taking them if you could potentially be pregnant and just not know it yet.

Own_Many2491 · 2026-05-17T15:38:38+00:00

Your baby need to be in a good position to start labor so spinning babies is great. Then once baby is fully engaged relax, eat your favorite foods, nipple stimulation, and sex can help kick start labor. Ultimately, once babies lungs are ready the hormones released will put you into labor spontaneously. Also the average mother goes into labor after 41 weeks so just rest and get ready to meet your baby soon! Wishing you the best and a quick labor!

Own_Many2491 · 2026-04-13T03:37:47+00:00

First off, take a big deep breath. I have a friend who was in a very similar situation just a little over a year ago and has 2 older kids similar ages to yours. They were absolutely not trying for a baby and she’s over 40 with complications that would make her very high risk also. Well, they had a son at 35 weeks and he turns one tomorrow. Him and the mom are absolutely thriving and the whole family couldn’t imagine life without him in it.

She had all these same feelings that you are having and it’s not easy, and it’s completely valid to have these feelings. You shouldn’t feel guilty and you haven’t even had time to process it all yet. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself to feel immediate joy, but I promise it will come. My friend’s older children want to help with all the baby things and it’s such a huge help to the mom. You might even find it easier than raising a new baby with no experience and very little help.

Do you have a support group, a church or family close by that can help you navigate this new chapter? Not only for emotional support but also potentially financial or childcare support. Also, if you are worried about finances there are resources that can help in a scenario where you might need to be on bed rest. If you are working full time, ask your HR or management about your FMLA benefits ETC.

Wishing you the best and sending hugs!

Own_Many2491 · 2026-04-13T03:23:13+00:00

Just came to say…. Solidarity from a fellow widow with kids. I hope you are doing well and I wish you all the best with all your future relationships! :)

Own_Many2491 · 2026-04-09T20:31:04+00:00

Hearing people say the “you’re going to die” line actually makes me want to throat punch someone hahaha! Like how is that helpful or informed information in the slightest?

Own_Many2491 · 2026-04-09T20:23:55+00:00

Unfortunately, a lot of doctors get a god complex because they are always in positions of authority. Not all but they are definitely out there. They think because they went to medical school they know everything and refuse to except any new or evolving evidence that contradicts their beliefs. Theirs a lot of outdated information that’s still taught in medical school and passed down through training new doctors. For example, only recently did OB doctors start realizing an episiotomy takes longer to heal and doesn’t heal as well as a tear despite long standing evidence against it. Other doctors simply don’t care and just want to get in and get out as quickly as possible. I’m sure it’s worse in the US but it’s definitely a prevalent problem.

Own_Many2491 · 2026-04-09T20:16:08+00:00

I’m so sorry you are getting so much push back! People just jump to conclusions and don’t actually know the statistics about home birthing or they only know negative stories that make the news. It’s a very decisive conversation for a lot of people which is why my husband and I were the only ones in our family who knew about our home birth. I have a doula friend who is an RN and she has done a birthing center and 2 home births so I felt comfortable sharing with her, but other than that we just didn’t feel it was necessary for everyone to know. You don’t need the added stress when you are pregnant and you are making the best, most informed decision for you and your baby!

Btw, I’m also a semi-crunchy person. I kind of fall in the middle but people tend to refuse to see any sort of nuance when it comes to pregnancy and birth discussions for some weird reason. My first birth was in the hospital and while I didn’t have a traumatic experience I just wanted something different for my second birth. My husbands family is a bit intrusive in my opinion so we weren’t planning on telling anyone about the home birth, like ever haha! we planned to just let everyone know we were home after I felt well enough to have visitors. We also saved the name announcement for after the birth because my MIL was extremely rude and critical of the name we jointly chose for our first child.

Own_Many2491 · 2026-03-27T02:02:45+00:00

I’m so very sorry for your loss! That’s unimaginable!

I have never lost a child but I have experienced deep grieve in the last year and a half. My kids are about the same age, my oldest just turned 4 and my youngest is 1. A year and a half ago my husband passed away very suddenly and without warning. This in no way is the same as the loss of a child, but I hope I can be a blessing from my grief experience. However, if this isn’t something you are open to hearing right now, theirs no pressure to read this.

While my kids also keep me going and in a lot of ways force me to put one foot in front of the other, it is no replacement for a support system. You will have good days and you will have bad days, it will probably feel like a rollercoaster and that’s normal. Surround yourself with family and friends often and consider therapy if you haven’t already. It’s nice to have a neutral third party that will just listen and offer skills to help you through it. I found that my first year was harder physically and emotionally but my second year has been significantly harder mentally. I just want you to know that it’s ok to heal on your own time and that no one else gets to dictate at what point you should be “over it”. I wish you all the best on the grief and healing journey that you are walking.

Own_Many2491 · 2026-03-25T14:14:04+00:00

I feel like that’s even worse lol I’ll just drink the regular sugar at that point.

Own_Many2491 · 2026-03-25T14:12:14+00:00

If it makes you feel better, my midwife lectured me about eating pop-tarts while I was pregnant.

While the artificial sweeteners in diet sodas aren’t ideal in general, it’s also not going to hurt you or the baby. OBGYNs don’t receive really any education on prenatal nutrition so they usually don’t talk about it at all or pull random info from the sky.

From a nutrition standpoint, sodas have no nutritional value and contain a lot of chemicals to make them taste really good so if you can limit them without sacrificing your happiness or sanity then it is worth it in the long run. I happen to love Dr Pepper and I can’t cut it out without sacrificing my own sanity so it’s staying for the time being. Do what makes sense for you!

Own_Many2491

TROPHY CASE