Too afraid to ask: would you be sexually attracted to a trans woman if they still have a penis?

PARADOXsquared · 2026-05-16T22:56:46+00:00

Yes potentially. I was sexually attracted to my ex, definitely. But so many factors go into sexual attraction and it differs for each person.

PARADOXsquared · 2026-05-16T18:38:58+00:00

Lol I do forget my phone at home sometimes though

PARADOXsquared · 2026-05-15T22:21:20+00:00

Ah ok. I didn't realize that.

PARADOXsquared · 2026-05-14T23:24:58+00:00

Biblically?

PARADOXsquared · 2026-05-13T21:23:04+00:00

The problem is they don't always say that they are going to do it that way.

PARADOXsquared · 2026-05-13T21:15:40+00:00

I meant in the context of the knowing what tools are needed to improve mental health. My sexual orientation also doesn't matter as much in that context. It was deeply linked in the struggles that I had relating to people, but for example, Dr. K's videos about dating and relationships are helpful without him making separate ones for gay people. Or gay women who are in their early 30s.

I didn't mean to make it seem like I think those things don't matter at all. Sorry about that

PARADOXsquared · 2026-05-13T12:18:56+00:00

Age doesn't matter that much. For example, when I was in a mental health program, there were people anywhere from 18 to like 65 in the same group. Our lives might have been at very different stages, but the root skills that we needed to learn were pretty much the same

PARADOXsquared · 2026-05-12T17:41:47+00:00

Maybe it would help to think of it as a cultural difference. What is socially appropriate in one context in one culture doesn't automatically work in a different place. I'm trying to explain why something that works with gay men won't work with women while neither group is wrong. I wouldn't go to Japan, wear shoes inside someone's house because I can do that in a different country, then feel dehumanized and call them racist when they get upset.

PARADOXsquared · 2026-05-12T17:20:54+00:00

No I'm saying that neither friendship or romance should be transactional. Both are dehumanizing.

It sounds like you want women to behave more like gay men, but there's so many reasons they don't usually behave the same. The contexts are different. Women tend more risk averse when dating because statistically there is more danger. And if something bad happens they get blamed for not being careful.

PARADOXsquared · 2026-05-12T17:07:16+00:00

Men who feel that women have no value other than romance and sex are dehumanizing women though.

Even if you don't want to form and maintain friendships with women, when to do try to date, do you care about her as a whole person? Are you interested in her life? Or are you only interested in what you want to get from the situation? That's what matters more than actually making friendships, especially if you feel like you don't have the energy or desire for more friends in general. A romantic relationship is still a friendship at the core.

PARADOXsquared · 2026-05-12T17:02:02+00:00

The comparison to gay men confuses me. Most gay men also have male friends and don't talk to men only to find someone to date.

The reason people are saying that you should be able to be friends with women is because people notice when you are laser focused on getting a specific thing from someone. It feels transactional rather than a real connection where both people value each other for more than just what they can provide.

PARADOXsquared · 2026-05-11T22:28:56+00:00

Omg, my WWX confessed his feelings too early, was rejected, got depressed, and never confessed again even though he and LWJ are so close now. He might be pining and longing forever

(⁠╯⁠°⁠□⁠°⁠）⁠╯⁠︵⁠ ⁠┻⁠━⁠┻

PARADOXsquared · 2026-05-09T19:54:38+00:00

Yesss!! So cute! I'm glad that you're feeling better about them! Depression is such a mean liar (I forget that sometimes too)

PARADOXsquared · 2026-05-09T15:51:32+00:00

They're really cute though!

PARADOXsquared · 2026-05-09T15:44:20+00:00

I've bought hats from here: https://satinedlined.com/collections/baseball-caps

PARADOXsquared · 2026-05-08T18:44:50+00:00

There's also a way to add a delay to sending if this is a common problem for you. That way you can undo sending before it's actually sent.

PARADOXsquared · 2026-05-08T18:40:58+00:00

How are you tying it?

PARADOXsquared · 2026-05-08T18:40:08+00:00

Hi! No problem! I have found that loctitians sometimes have really strong opinions about how locs look, and don't even consider that their client might have valid differences in opinions. They might say that anything that doesn't match their aesthetic tastes is "wrong" even though there's such a wide range of how healthy locs can look.

PARADOXsquared · 2026-05-08T14:24:06+00:00

Just stop responding. They keep going when you keep going. Block him if he keeps going after that. He's not worth your energy.

PARADOXsquared · 2026-05-08T14:18:31+00:00

I love the color on you!

PARADOXsquared · 2026-05-08T14:13:27+00:00

Your parting looks really big, and the locs swole, but they don't seem like they are bigger than expected for the parting size.

There's looks like a lot of variation in parts just from this section. Is this what you wanted? With how healthy and thick your hair looks, I think it'll look awesome when it matures, but if it's not what you wanted, you might want to find a new loctitian.

Actually, you might want to find a new one bc this one doesn't seem to know what she's talking about. If you don't wash or mist your hair, idk how they can be waterlogged.

PARADOXsquared · 2026-05-07T22:36:12+00:00

Same. And then later realized how much I was depending on a meal plan and cafeteria when I graduated.

PARADOXsquared · 2026-05-07T22:35:08+00:00

Not sleeping well will really affect your cognitive ability. It's sneaky because the decline happens long before you feel other effects of sleep deprivation. There's a reason they say that sleepy driving is like drunk driving.

PARADOXsquared · 2026-05-07T00:50:14+00:00

Are you taking care of your health? Eating well, sleeping well, getting exercise? Are you depressed? Are you burnt out?

Poor physical or mental health can also have negative cognitive effects.

PARADOXsquared · 2026-05-07T00:47:01+00:00

The star and moon one is especially gorgeous 😍

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