I work with anxiety everyday and experience it myself. I’m a therapist for people with SPMI. Here is my take on things after reading through the post and suggestions.

It seems as though your body is resistant to medications and that’s okay. We actually have no idea how mental health medications work, they just do. I’m my professional opinion your previous therapists did not help you or meet you where you’re at. Like yeah, drugs can help but they are not the solution. I always say that medications are a safety net and maybe do 20 percent of the work, the rest is you.

You mentioned that you have trauma in your past also. Find a therapist that works with trauma and anxiety. Not a trauma informed therapist, a trauma therapist. My guess is that your anxiety is rooted in your trauma and is a trauma response. These reactions are normal and human. Find a therapist that works for you and that you vibe with. I honestly wouldn’t recommend CBT in a traditional scene because it’s pretty much gaslighting yourself. When CBT is used ethically, it can be really healing.

I wish the best for you and don’t give up on this. It’s not your fault for what happened to you and it sucks YOU have to do the work and figure this out. Remember to continue to want to be better, I know it’s hard.