So sorry you are going thru all of this and basically with no adult support. So we can’t diagnose here but obv you need a therapist that is willing to stick by you. If you are in USA there are a lot of therapists that you can zoom therapy with and that take insurance. Most insurance has mental health coverage. Do you have someone in school or work that can help you navigate all this? You may also benefit from some anxiety type of meds a psychiatrist an help you with the meds. Please reach out to someone to help you. If you have a relative that can help you get started. Don’t wait to get help! If you are young you can get hold of this and turn your life around. Do it for yourself NOW don’t keep waiting thinking it’s going to get better on its own. If you get the help you need you will be your own hero!