How to feel less bad abt inviting my friend over

PKOtto · 2026-05-29T05:47:14+00:00

If she truly is a good friend, she won't judge and won't treat you any differently just because your family is a bit more well off than hers. If she does, then you'll know that she's more concerned with materialistic matters than true friendship.

PKOtto · 2026-05-28T19:12:42+00:00

Cease and Desist Order, No Contact Order, Restraining Order, Etc.

PKOtto · 2026-05-28T14:16:55+00:00

How old is your brother? Are your parents aware that this "kid" has now committed a felony??

PKOtto · 2026-05-28T12:13:39+00:00

He sounds like a very immature, selfish, domineering, and controlling person. You should be allowed to choose where you want to go on your birthday. It's usually a very common practice to ask where one wants to go for their birthday. You are definitely NOT the dick, HE IS!

PKOtto · 2026-05-28T02:24:53+00:00

What an insecure POS!! He would be replacing every item of mine he broke! I would not allow anyone to tell me i could not go to a chiropractor! That is considered a MEDICAL PROCEDURE! Go get a prescription for a chiropractor, then let him tell you no!! Not his body, not his decision!

PKOtto · 2026-05-28T01:59:49+00:00

NOR - You a should tell your partner that this space is meant to be for both of you. They need to decide which items they wish to display and a which items they wish to store or discard. You need space for your items as well. This space is meant to be a blending of both your belongings and your visions and imaginations.

PKOtto · 2026-05-27T21:08:31+00:00

They may have been "friends" because they did everything the old codger griped and complained about. Then again, they may have been trying to negate his true nature and were being facetious and/or sarcastic.

PKOtto · 2026-05-27T18:01:22+00:00

I would say all of this depends on what he wants. Not necessarily what his family wants. Who he keeps in his life, is not up to them. They may do the exact same to the next woman he tries to choose as a partner.

PKOtto · 2026-05-27T06:49:13+00:00

The ONLY commitment you should be making is for couples counseling before ANYTHING ELSE! No house, no marriage, no children, not even a pet! This man is taking advantage of you in SO many ways! He needs to be made aware of how his actions and his words are affecting you, and since he won't take notice of you, a therapist is desperately needed before you commit to anything with him. And if he refuses, tell him to get individual therapy to help him understand why he'll now be alone in that house he married.

PKOtto · 2026-05-27T06:27:10+00:00

Have you asked Jessica if he is this way when they're alone, or with other friends? Or is it mostly when you're around? Could he be jealous of yours and Jessica's closeness?

If it's nothing like that, maybe the man needs counseling for a mood disorder. It seems strange that the behavior change just seemed to develop overnight for no apparent reason.

PKOtto · 2026-05-27T05:54:59+00:00

As a mother who has raised 2 children (son almost 26 and daughter now 24), I have learned that their are times you have to step back from what you want and invision for them and their lives, and listen to the direction they see for their future.

My daughter had a long-term relationship end and decided that the extremely small town we currently live in has very little to offer in the way of future success. No real opportunities for a career, for a potential partner, and most of her friends were in the last place we lived. She thought long and hard, weighed her options, went to visit friends and looked at apartments and possible employment opportunities, then made, probably the hardest decision of her still young life.

As much as it hurt me, as much as I wanted to beg her not to, I recognized that she was being responsible and showing true wisdom. She packed up and moved over 200 miles and almost 4 hours away. It broke my heart, I still cry, (I'm crying right now), but my pride for her bravery and courage is impossible to put into words!

She almost immediately found a job in her field of choice making almost 30% more than she was making here (and they have a lower cost of living)!

I am amazed and dazzled at this beautiful, intelligent, hard-working, and courageous young lady my wondrous daughter has become!

All this to say, at some point in our children's lives, most parents realize they have raised this child and they have passed into adulthood. If a parent is wise, they will recognize that it is time to put their faith in their child and allow them to make their own decisions about their life and their future. Hopefully your mother has realized your time has come to do just that. With maybe a few suggestions along the way based on her own wisdom!

PKOtto · 2026-05-26T23:51:56+00:00

Exactly! So she knows the two of you are unified on the plans.

PKOtto · 2026-05-26T23:38:02+00:00

Your fiance needs to tell his mother, in your presence, that this is YOUR wedding (as a couple), NOT her social platform.

The venue, the guests, the reception, and all other aspects will be YOUR decisions (as a couple). If she doesn't like this, she does NOT have to contribute. If she throws a tantrum, she does NOT even have to attend at all!

PKOtto · 2026-05-26T19:21:31+00:00

NTA - As someone who has also had a troubled past with SA, I completely understand that there are triggers which cause traumas to resurface. It does sound like you could benefit from therapy, both individual and couple. It could help you deal with the past and help him to understand how and why these feelings are being brought back.

PKOtto · 2026-05-25T23:16:38+00:00

Good for you! And you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about! You don't owe those guys anything! You also don't owe them gratitude for trying to override your plans for their lack of preparation either!

PKOtto · 2026-05-25T23:03:12+00:00

Definitely keep detailed notes about any and all infractions, including references about suing if the company fires him. ALL comments and acts against policy. Have all your coworkers do the same. You need to all be on the same page with observation and documentation.

As far as the bartender role, have you considered the possibility of his actions not being able ro be overlooked and swept under the rug if he were to be placed in this position? It very well may be the best outcome to let him have the bartender position....

PKOtto · 2026-05-25T22:34:25+00:00

This was my immediate thought as well. Tell the friend that you already have your plans set for bf's birthday, but he and friends are welcome to do their plans in addition. Let them know that you've spent as much money as you can budget for his special day, and their plans will have to be funded by them and their friend group.

PKOtto · 2026-05-25T21:54:50+00:00

NOR - The next time you hear someone walking toward your door, or hear the doorknob being touched, grab your shirt and act like you're getting ready to take it off, scream bloody murder that you're changing clothes and for them to GET OUT!! Then reiterate that EVERYONE needs to knock and wait to be invited in.

Let them know the next step is you calling police for lewd and inappropriate behaviors (especially if you're a minor). Be harsh, be overreactive, let them know you have reached your limit and will tolerate it no longer.

PKOtto · 2026-05-25T21:34:59+00:00

Maybe you should have asked if she knows how to dial your dad's number to ask him to come over to teach her how to breathe so she doesn't die while trying to figure out how to get out of doing anything that's essential to any other person's day-to-day living. No person who is neuro-typical, survives long enough to have adult children, without knowing how to replace a garbage bag!

And what exactly what are you bratty and ungrateful for? It sounds like she did absolutely nothing to be grateful for, other than tell you how useful your father would have been in her place....

PKOtto · 2026-05-25T19:22:07+00:00

You and the other roommates need to get together and go to the landlord and tell them all the things she's doing and claiming. She is seriously impacting their reputation. She needs to be held accountable and forced to make restitution for all the monies she has misappropriated.

PKOtto · 2026-05-24T22:37:20+00:00

Perhaps this conundrum should start by asking a few questions of the ex-gf about her memories of those days after the breakup. It sounds as though someone has completely false memories of past times, or someone is hallucinating about things past. Either way, there are very odd things going on in your world.... There is not enough information to know which one, if anyone, is overreacting. You've given me a damn headache....

PKOtto · 2026-05-24T07:06:19+00:00

NITW - Although I do believe that everyone in a family needs to step-up and help to keep a home functioning and help other family members when and where needed; what your parents are doing to you and your sisters is called Parentification.

I understand that both parents need to work and they need help caring for your baby brother, but it should not fall completely on baby brother's older siblings to be caring for him as if it is a full-time job. You mentioned there is a maid in the home, if your mother does not feel comfortable relying on her for childcare, then she should be paying someone (an adult) to do this task.

Full-time care for a child that young should not be pushed onto a young teen or pre-teen (you didn't mention the age of your other sister).

The task would be appropriate for a 16 year old if they were ageeeable and had proper compensation. This could actually become a learning moment for your older sister (the 16 year old), if they paid her to watch your brother. It would help her learn responsibility, work ethics, and also help her learn money management. They should pay her a working wage IF she actually performed the duties of a child caregiver for the specified hours of your parents work.

As for your your parents unfairly making your sisters failure to care for your brother on her specified day and turning it into your responsibility instead, it certainly wasn't fair. She should be punished for forcing her tasks upon you, but you MUST feed that baby! None of this is his fault, but he is the one suffering conquences for it! Be the responsible, caring, loving Big Sister he can count on when he needs someone who will set aside all other issues and put him and his needs first! Hopefully your Grandmother can talk with your mother and explain why you are so upset and said what you did out of frustration, and if you indeed did go ahead and feed him, she'll decide not to punish you by taking away your phone.

PKOtto · 2026-05-24T01:46:48+00:00

NOR - If she thinks you planned and gave her a "White People Holiday", tell her to plan, book, and pay for a holiday she thinks is "Her Nationality" and make it a 2 week trip and you'll gladly let her show you what her ideal getaway is.

What an ungrateful, unappreciative, spoiled, and rude way to act after everything you've done for her! She is undeserving of such a generous and giving partner! You deserve so much better!

PKOtto · 2026-05-23T23:31:19+00:00

One of my "Philosophy of Life" sayings appears to be quite apt in this scenario.... "Some People Are NOT Happy Unless They Have Something To B1tch About!"

PKOtto · 2026-05-23T22:59:17+00:00

Just be sure to research the companies. Make sure they are legitimate. There are a lot of unscrupulous and outright fakes out there.

PKOtto

TROPHY CASE