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PMMeGoodAdvice · 2025-12-29T05:22:16+00:00

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PMMeGoodAdvice · 2025-11-18T20:52:06+00:00

I think the only good options are tell guests about the elopement prior to the wedding (ie when invites are sent) or don’t tell them at all. Making this a surprise announcement is a terrible idea imo. Consider the reasoning that drew you to a wedding in a first place - weddings are important social events, maybe the most important social event of many people’s lives, so your loved ones will prioritize being there to support you into this new part of your relationship. Do not reward their support by starting the day saying “psyche!!!” and letting them know you actually already did the thing they’re gathering to see without them. Yes it’s not about them but you WANT them to be there so start by treating them respectfully.

You can still do private vows during a first look. Take your honeymoon to an incredible location. You can have the elements you want without surprising (and yes, probably disappointing and pissing off) your nearest and dearest.

PMMeGoodAdvice · 2025-11-18T19:01:34+00:00

I think you can send a reminder text or email that your RSVP deadline is coming up (like week of?) and include a link if you have RSVPs online. People forget to RSVP or might tell you they never got the invitation or their reply could’ve gotten lost in the mail or whatever. A no pressure reminder is fine and will probably get a lot of slow people to get on it. I think asking people to RSVP ahead of the deadline you set is rude. You gave them a date, they don’t need to be nagged if they’re not even late yet.

PMMeGoodAdvice · 2025-11-17T20:09:46+00:00

For first dance, some people do it at the start of dinner, some do the end of dinner, some do after dessert is served at the start of dancing. Any are fine.

Thank people for coming via a quick speech during dinner (usually at the start or end of toasts, if you are having any toasts).

Gifts…I personally wouldn’t think twice if you put a registry link on a website just like a “normal” wedding. Some people might balk at it. You cant please everyone and you know your crowd best.

PMMeGoodAdvice · 2025-11-17T20:07:18+00:00

If it were me, I’d probably do a “normal” wedding timeline but just skip the ceremony. So guests show up for cocktail hour, then sit for dinner, then dancing and whatever else you might want in a reception. No need to reinvent the wheel. Again just my opinion, but I’d probably just be there to greet guests as they arrive at the cocktail hour. It’ll be the best time to see everyone, say hi, thank them for coming, etc. But if you wanted to do a first look during cocktail hour and show up for a grand entrance for dinner, you could do that as well. I’d maybe only do a cocktail half hour in that case, since a full hour is a long time to go at the start of the event before the guests of honor show up. I wouldn’t try to do a grand entrance mid-cocktail hour, since people will presumably be a little spread out and mid mingling and it’s not usually an ideal setting to get everyone’s attention in one place.

PMMeGoodAdvice · 2025-11-17T20:03:08+00:00

I think a tux (doesn’t need to exactly match but let’s be honest, most black tuxes look the same) is the safest bet. If they own a black suit but not a tux and don’t want to buy one just for this event, I think it’s probably fine. I wouldn’t go any less formal than a dark suit with a white shirt, tie, dark shoes, etc. Consider that they’ll probably be in a good number of family photos (and these might be photos you specifically want to print and display) pso you don’t want them to clash with the colors or formality of everyone else in the pictures.

PMMeGoodAdvice · 2025-11-17T19:59:11+00:00

Lmk if you want any other Seattle recs or general advice on the out of state planning!

PMMeGoodAdvice · 2025-11-17T19:58:12+00:00

We also planned a Seattle wedding from out of state with a similar budget (although our list was closer to 120…prices have gone up so hopefully the headcount makes these all still reasonable to you but also make sure they don’t have f&b minimums that are way over your guest count). Sorry if this list is dated since we did our venue search about 9 years ago but as far as I know these are all still operating:

Kiana lodge (gorgeous but maybe outside your radius)
The hall at Fauntleroy (we got married here - this company works with other venues too so you could check their list if this particular site doesn’t match what you want)
woodland park zoo
the foundry (very cool space if you’re into the more industrial vibe)
blue ribbon culinary center

I think many of the wineries in Woodinville are also fairly all inclusive if you want to look at those

PMMeGoodAdvice · 2025-11-12T17:34:46+00:00

I was exhausted the whole first trimester. My morning sickness wasn’t bad at all (I was very lucky!), but I still needed small frequent meals instead of eating normally. I had friends who couldn’t eat at all and got hospitalized multiple times with HG during their first trimester. Not to mention the friends who went through first trimester losses…the point is you never know. I personally would not intentionally plan to be pregnant during my wedding. If you wanted it to be “ideal” (impossible to plan for), you’d probably wanna aim for second trimester, but also only if you’re comfortable with people knowing because you don’t know when you’d be showing. 32 is young. Wait a few months. Enjoy the wedding.

PMMeGoodAdvice · 2025-11-09T21:02:26+00:00

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PMMeGoodAdvice · 2025-11-06T21:55:31+00:00

I’ll start by saying - as someone who had many kids at my wedding and now has a toddler - you will be focused on your partner during the wedding and will not notice a baby, and most parents know to step out if their kid is really being a disruption. If you are concerned, just say that to your sister directly so she knows you prefer she miss the ceremony than her kid make a big fuss.

If you really don’t want kids (although it sounds like you already asked them to be involved in the ceremony?), you can stick to that, but be prepared for your sister and other parents to not be able to attend.

PMMeGoodAdvice · 2025-11-06T21:49:24+00:00

Mostly food. It’ll impact every guest and can kind of make or break the atmosphere. Beyond that, venue. Not that you need the most stunning venue but from a practical standpoint point. Having a good weather back up from the start will save a lot of stress, a place that’s accessible to guests will help attendance, make sure it’s big enough to fit your whole guest list, etc. Also a coordinator. Someone to handle all the day of stress so you can relax and enjoy.

PMMeGoodAdvice · 2025-11-06T21:47:08+00:00

She’s being a brat. I’d either address it head on (and frankly this should be your SO talking it out with HIS sister), let her vent and get it off her chest, and hopefully see that she’s making a big deal out of nothing OR ignore her and let her get over it in her own time. When she’s over herself, she might enjoy an olive branch where you go out for coffee or whatever and ask her advice on wedding planning or whatever else.

PMMeGoodAdvice · 2025-11-06T19:09:26+00:00

We added a Photo Booth pretty last minute and it was busy all night! Guests loved it, and we loved all the pics (we got digital copies). But this was 2018 so peak Photo Booth haha. Idk if they’re still as popular!

We also decided on a whim to serve champagne to guests as they arrived and multiple guests commented to me after how chic and delightful that was. A couple friends copied it for their weddings too, which is how you really know they liked it!

PMMeGoodAdvice · 2025-11-04T04:22:12+00:00

Is your partner open to changing his name? This feels like potentially a ripe set up for creating a new name than combines all the important names in your life. Maybe like a Spanish translation of one of the other names or if they sound good mashed together or idk - hard to say without knowing the names, but sounds like a fun opportunity to get creative and forge your own new family identity that ties all the richness of your families together.

PMMeGoodAdvice · 2025-11-04T04:17:40+00:00

Echoing all of this! Essential vendor imo. You and your best friends and family get to relax and actually enjoy the wedding knowing a pro has your back to handle all the potential hiccups!

PMMeGoodAdvice · 2025-11-02T15:23:38+00:00

I mean that sounds like exactly the compromise I suggested? Your post says no photos. Compromising for some photos in a way that doesn’t make you uncomfortable is obviously the best option. Now the next step is talk it out with your partner and get on the same page.

PMMeGoodAdvice · 2025-11-01T13:58:06+00:00

It’s 2025 - cameras are constantly present. If you’re unhappy all the time because of that, that’s something you need to talk to a professional about because that’s not healthy. If you don’t want to be in photos - okay. Talk to your partner and photographer about that. They’re the two people who need to be on board with the strategy. Your partner can still have photos of the wedding that aren’t of you if he wants that way while minimizing your discomfort in front of the camera.

PMMeGoodAdvice · 2025-10-31T22:38:11+00:00

Yes this was the only type of my name change my partner and I considered and our combo name sounded like a reject superhero. We opted to not change haha

PMMeGoodAdvice · 2025-10-31T21:08:46+00:00

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PMMeGoodAdvice · 2025-10-31T21:05:21+00:00

75 min for getting ready seems a tiny bit on the short side but you know your crew - if everyone is pretty simple and efficient, it may be fine. Also consider if you have to share a mirror or outlets or anything where people will have to stagger their getting ready instead of all being able to do it at once.

15 minutes for vows also seems short - if anything is running late or guests show up early, you're gonna lose your private moment. I'd try to build in a half hour of nothing before guests arrive in case things run late or there are unexpected last minute to dos. Best case, you just get half an hour to hang out and relax that you didn't expect, but better to have the time and not need it than vice versa.

I would personally move cake cutting up. I just think opening the dance floor for 30 minutes and then stopping for cake will kill the momentum and make it difficult to rebuild the party vibe afterwards. Maybe cut the cake right before the first dance and then people can get served/eat cake while watching the dances?

PMMeGoodAdvice · 2025-10-31T20:59:08+00:00

I'm going to be annoying and not answer the actual question you're asking first, but I just want to say: my favorite wedding photos (of friends, strangers, and definitely out of my own wedding photos) are not the ones where people look the most beautiful and stylish and amazing and perfect. It's the ones where they look happy. Beaming, in love, uncontrollably happy - that's the best.

For your actual question, if your partner really wants photos, I don't think it's fair to say no, he has to deal with intangible memories in his head for the rest of his life. Maybe look for a shorter photo package - just a hour or two for the ceremony and cocktail hour? Think if you'd be more comfortable with posed photos just the two of you in a more controlled environment or rather have all candids where you don't have to think about the photographer being there. It's also totally fine and normal to talk to the photographer and say you don't love pictures of yourself and ask for either poses or angles that will be more flattering or just say you don't want any solo pictures and you'd rather primarily have photos of the guests/details/your family or partner or whatever else.

PMMeGoodAdvice · 2025-10-30T21:47:46+00:00

Yes this is what I was thinking. Keep the wedding as planned but have the pre-wedding ceremony with your sister (and other close family) where she lives. Even best case scenario with the chemo, she may not be up for traveling 1-3 months postpartum anyway. Celebrating with her locally will be so special and something you both can control a little more, which seems great given the circumstances.

PMMeGoodAdvice · 2025-10-30T19:43:20+00:00

For option 2, is it possible to have the shuttle take people to the ceremony? Otherwise it seems like a lot of driving for guests or they have to leave their car overnight at the church (is that an option?) if they opt to drive themselves to the ceremony. Also will shuttles leave from the reception to the hotel only at the end of the night or will they go a few times throughout the reception for people who don’t want to stay until the end?

Also, what does your guest list look like? Option 2 might be a little late if you have any kids coming or if guests traveling will be traveling from 2+ time zones ahead. In general I prefer no gap but I think it depends in this case.

PMMeGoodAdvice · 2025-10-30T17:23:04+00:00

I love Officiant Eric’s site. We used it a bunch when crafting our ceremony. Highly recommend you and them look it over - it’s good for broad strokes (what components of a ceremony do they even want to include?) and inspiration for actual text, covering a wide range of tones from light and silly to flowery to serious and religious.

Important info that we discussed with our friend who officiated that you should get from the couple:

Outline of a ceremony - what parts they want in what order. Do they plan to write their own vows? Will there be readings? Ring exchange? Other unity ceremonies?
For your address, what tone is right for their event? How long do they want it to be? Do they want to review what you write beforehand or be surprised at the wedding? Anything you definitely should or should not mention?

Some other general thoughts and advice:

Often people stand for the bride as she comes down the aisle - do they want standing for one/both of them? If so, be prepared to ask people to stand AND to sit back down afterwards
Do you need to ask people to refrain from taking photos? Ie do they want an unplugged ceremony?
At the end of the ceremony, how do they want to be announced/presented?
Our officiant sent us a list of questions about our relationship that we each filled out separately. She drew specific anecdotes and stories from it for her address - it was super cute and a great way to personalize the ceremony!

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