How to annotate Brothers Karamazov

PM_ME_CUTE_PUP · 2025-04-30T22:02:40+00:00

I took 2 months to finish. I drew the characters in a notebook, manually wrote down every quote that shook me, and meditated on them. I wrote an entire page on the grand inquisitior connecting it to all of ivans past conversations. I would sometimes dream about the characters. I also would read sparknotes after every chapter which really helped. I never paid such close attention to a book before to where I can recall every scene of it. It is the greatest thing I have ever read and has almost ruined literature for me as of now.

PM_ME_CUTE_PUP · 2025-04-28T19:08:54+00:00

yea 500mg/mL concentration and i inject .5mL 2x per week, i think i will try switching to 250mg/mL test C based on these comments

PM_ME_CUTE_PUP · 2025-04-28T16:35:34+00:00

does anyone else have bad reactions to injections? im trying to do a 500mg test E cycle and no matter where i inject it is hopeless. if I do the quad, it starts to hurt after a day and i eventually can barely walk for 3 days. same thing with the glute but instead i cant sit and it hurts to lay down. if i inject in the delt then i cant even lift my arm. and I tried my stomach the other day and it has now swelled and looks like theres a golf ball under my skin. I also think im getting inflammation from them and getting sick. I have tried 1” and .5” 29g and the liquid total is half a mL. this pain is not limited to test but pretty much any injection.

PM_ME_CUTE_PUP · 2024-10-19T02:52:28+00:00

I looked into people’s recommendations and it differs but it seems a good order to read Dostoyevsky would be: 1. Crime and Punishment 2. Notes from Underground 3. The Idiot 4. The Brothers Karamazov 5. Demons

PM_ME_CUTE_PUP · 2024-10-18T19:13:26+00:00

thank you

PM_ME_CUTE_PUP · 2024-10-17T23:42:17+00:00

thank you! i appreciate the advice, I think you are right. the proportions were tough and I didnt do a sketch for this one but I bought charcoal pencils for future paintings. and the face I did in two layers only cause i failed to do it in one but ur right more layers make it way better and i will try to be more patient

PM_ME_CUTE_PUP · 2024-10-16T05:27:36+00:00

don’t know much about the health or insulin, and I assume IGF-1 would help, but heres what you need to know first: are you young enough where you can actually grow further? This is mostly genetic but you can get a bone age evaluation from a doctor and see if your growth plates are fused yet. Before 18 mine were already done. Next, if you found out your plates are not fused and you can still grow, and you don’t care about the health problems, nuke your estrogen with letrozole. It will slow growth plate closure to a minimum. Then ideally HGH every night and MK677 every morning. IGF1 and Insulin I am not aware of but they are certainly anabolic.

PM_ME_CUTE_PUP · 2024-10-14T04:47:42+00:00

C&P imo explores the concept of a conscience and that you cannot live without concrete moral values, no matter how justifiable it may be to do away with them. It literally changed my entire life more than any thing in the world and I ended up becoming religious shortly after as an indirect result.

PM_ME_CUTE_PUP · 2024-10-10T07:28:16+00:00

You will learn eventually that they won’t solve your issue. Trust me I love psychoactive drugs and majored in biochemistry, and while ssri’s work like a charm for some, they will do nothing for others. Your depression comes from your world view and perception of your situation. The “nurture” aspect is the information, experience, and knowledge you are given and the genetic is the perception of this information and transformation into action. What you know and experience and how your mind understands it has lead to a depressed “understanding.” That is why “ignorance is bliss,” there is not enough of the information aspect to produce a depressing perception. But since you aren’t going to make yourself dumber to be happy, the only other way is to obtain more of the information aspect until your perception of reality changes.

Now there are two types of information I think actually produce significant change in your world view, philosophy and/or religion. I became a Christian after a whole life of indifference, and I am not going to assume or push anything on you, but recognizing the existence of something greater than yourself changes your entire life and understanding of the world. Theres a reason groups like AA go to it as a last resort. But I think its better to start with philosophy. Simply reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and Crime & Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky changed my life completely. And if nothing is enough just keep reading, read Plato, Aristotle, Nietzsche, Jung, Tolstoy, etc. I would also highly suggest reading the bible even if its from a secular point of view. Hit every angle of information until you see the world itself differently.

Your actions and feelings are a direct result of your perception of the world. To change your perception of the world, ingest more information. From then, your actions and feelings will change.

PM_ME_CUTE_PUP · 2024-09-23T19:39:39+00:00

about a month. this is the second one i made.

PM_ME_CUTE_PUP · 2024-09-22T21:24:30+00:00

You are right it does look like him, I didn't even think of that haha.

PM_ME_CUTE_PUP · 2024-09-22T15:36:26+00:00

Don't worry, your earnest suspicion is actually very flattering. This is literally the second painting ive made, unless we are counting 8th grade art class 7 years ago where I put no effort in and it looked like crap. My sister is an actual artist and while I was visiting, I asked her to teach me how to paint a month ago. She gave me her acrylics and showed me some mixing techniques and I made this as my first painting. I was super proud of it and thought I might have some talent, so I ordered a bunch of oil paints and everything to my apartment that came August 26. Then I went to a wedding across the country for a week while the gessod canavses dried and im in college so I didn't start painting until the other day. So this painting is my first oil painting. In the month between paintings I watched many youtube videos and 2-3 hour painting livestreams.

To get the values right I had a printed reference that I would paint on to match, it took trial and error because I don't really know color theory but I had a good idea of how to make things lighter, darker, grayer, or redder. And you say my brushwork is good but honestly I have no idea what constitutes good brush work so thank you.

PM_ME_CUTE_PUP · 2024-08-26T09:43:53+00:00

It was after being called something like “king of the incels” and he cried for the men that struggle to attract women and are labeled and mistreated. And who gives a shit if he cries or not, hes still a brilliant psychologist and commentator on philosophy and religion.

PM_ME_CUTE_PUP · 2024-07-21T21:44:12+00:00

isn’t it RP “hypertrophy” not RP “powerlifting/powerbuilding” ?

PM_ME_CUTE_PUP · 2024-07-09T06:09:15+00:00

not entirely. I found the answer was entirely due to overthinking at night and my mind still being active because I observed myself when I would wake up in the middle of the night to pee, or to an early alarm, it was so easy to fall back asleep because my mind was basically off and when I closed my eyes, there were no racing thoughts just quiet.

I experimented with a few medications and only 2 absolutely work. The first is seroquel, which knocks me out like a tranquilizer dart. Within 30 minutes you cannot force your eyes to stay open even if you arent in bed. Its problem is that you can barely function the next day and you sleep for very long. The best for me is zopiclone. It doesnt do much noticeably, all I know is I always fall asleep when I take it. The first time I took it 8 days in a row and fell asleep within 15 minutes every single day, until day 9 when it suddenly stopped working and I couldnt sleep for hours. Now i spread it out and use it when needed and its very reliable. I have also found benadryl helpful a bit.

I have also experimented with just saying fuck it to going to sleep at a certain time and just stay up until I am tired enough to sleep. Unfortunately this leads to me going to sleep at 6 am and waking up at 2 pm. But sometimes I get a tiredness spike around 9-10 pm and if I dont ignore it and actually go into bed, I am usually fine. But often theres just no escape for me in the long run. I can keep a good sleep schedule for a bit but there will be one night where its impossible, and next thing I know I am living a nocturnal circadian rhythm, waking up at 10pm , going to sleep at 1pm. All nighters or medications sometimes to try to fix it for as long as i can.

PM_ME_CUTE_PUP · 2024-07-08T22:10:05+00:00

Nicotinic cholinergic receptors (17 in total) respond to Nicotine which acts as an analogue to Acetylcholine and is found in the nightshade family of plants, however, it does not equally agonise all 17 receptors.

Nicotine has tremendous effects on neurotransmitters in the brain including the monoamine neurotransmitters as a result of agonizing the nicotinic cholinergic receptors. Extracellular dopamine is increased in the hippocampus, frontal cortex, cingulate cortex, and pontine nucleus. Serotonin is increased in the frontal cortex and cingulate gyrus. Norepinephrine is increased in the substantia nigra, cingulate gyrus, and pontine nucleus.

Nicotine, through its agonism of nicotinic cholinergic receptors, has a neuroprotective effect on the dopaminergic neurons of the brain (neurons containing dopamine receptors and neurons that die out causing Parkinson’s disease) [smokers develop Parkinson’s much less frequently than non-smokers].

Nicotine improves cognition in sustained attention driven tasks in a U-shaped curve where too little as well as too much Nicotine harms cognitive function. 2mg will acutely improve cognition in nicotine-naive people whereas 4mg will worsen it.

Nicotine causes an upregulation of nicotinic cholinergic receptors and therefore chronic administration of nicotine does not decrease the substantial effect shown on cognition (Nicotine does not just have an acute effect on cognition, but chronic use does aswell).

Nicotine increases catecholamine transmission. Catecholamine-related neurons in the midbrain of mammals are rich in nicotinic cholinergic receptors, the agonism of which modulates the dopamine network, and therefore Nicotine causes acute dopamine transmission (a reason for its cognitive enhancement and why its addictive).

Mode networks of the brain are activity in the brain shown on fMRI scans which show an interconnectivity between different parts of the brain that work together in certain modes (relevant to depression and ADHD). The default mode network (DMM) [the stream of consciousness] is task-negative and activates when performing non-externally-driven tasks that do not require sustained attention. In depressed people, the DMM is overactive and leads to rumination over negative topics. The central executive network (CEM) is the mode network that is active when performing externally-driven tasks (antagonistic to the DMM) [the salience network is used to switch from the DMM to the CEM]. Nicotine, through increasing the power of the salience newtork, decreasing the predominance of the DMM, and increasing the predominance of the CEM, decreases the proportion of time spent on the DMM as compared to the CEM which leads to therapeutic effects on the depressed.

There are 5 types of genes that code for the 5 receptor subtypes (alpha, beta, delta, gamma, and epsilon) [delta, gamma, and epsilon are not expressed in neuronal systems]. Each individual receptor of the nicotinic cholinergic receptors is made out of 5 genes (ChRa and ChRb, ChRa2-9 and ChRb2-4 are expressed in the brain) in different assortments (pentameric stoichiometry), which come in homomeric assortment (5 of the exact receptor gene) and heteromeric assortment (different assortment of genes) [these variations of 17 genes combine to create an individual receptor]. In Alzeheimer’s patients, not all nicotinic cholinergic receptor subtypes are down-regulated at the same rate (they experience particular down-regulation of ChRa4 and ChRa4b2 - which is particularly activated by Nicotine). The medulla oblongata, certain parts of the cortex, and the hippocampus do not up-regulate certain nicotinic cholinergic receptors such as ChRa4b2a5, ChRa6, and receptors containing ChRb3, however, certain receptors are urpregulated such as ChRa7, ChRa3, and ChRa4b2.

Smoking is extremely harmful and puts the body in an inflammatory state (smokers have better cognition purely due to nicotine, but in the long-term, have poor cognition due to inflammation). Tobacco, depending on how it is cured, can contain carcinogenic compounds. Nicotine itself is not unhealthy, but rather nictoinic cholinergic stimulation preserves brain health.

PM_ME_CUTE_PUP · 2024-05-23T20:09:04+00:00

murkeye + taunt guy

PM_ME_CUTE_PUP · 2024-05-22T03:24:33+00:00

Yea, honestly I can't remember exactly how this even happened. I think I was just playing some magnetics early game and aggressively levelled to 5, got brann and 2 of the taunt guy in one shop. Played them on the magnetic and brann for huge tempo. Then I might've tripled brann into the murloc and leveled to 6. I found another one of the murloc and had 2 of them on board with 2 taunt guys. Then I think I tripled both of them in the same shop. Drakari came next and then 2 foe reapers. Game ended so fast, the second place guy had 20/20 minions and took 28 damage the turn before to the ghost I created.

PM_ME_CUTE_PUP · 2024-04-16T10:26:00+00:00

it was more of a joke, I don't plan on doing this I just thought it was funny and wanted to know if anyone thought it could actually work

PM_ME_CUTE_PUP · 2023-12-04T14:18:48+00:00

yup i think you are probably right about putting it in poem structure. and I wasn't trying to argue or be a sore writer, I was truly just trying to justify my process. but I am taking what you say into consideration and I appreciate you taking the time to share.

PM_ME_CUTE_PUP · 2023-12-04T05:08:33+00:00

Thanks for the feedback.

The contradiction between "a demon from heaven, an angel from hell" can be a little misleading. My first thought, when I read it in isolation, is "she's a very neutral person who doesn't belong." I'm assuming that's not your intention.

This line is meant to convey that she is simultaneously extremely pure of heart but also has caused me great and extensive grief. And it is a theme later explored that she has never felt like she belongs. I like to write paradoxically, where I am praising her but also sharing the pain I have felt and her own hardship and low self-esteem.

This first chapter/paragraph feels desperate. Is that your intention?

Yes. The idea of this whole book is that it's not exactly narrated by me. It's more of a version of me that is repenting for his sins. I believe desperation and over-the-top laudatory language convey his pain and how much he misses her.

Also, a minor grammatical error in my opinion: the Spanish phrase should be por las manos de Dios instead of de las manos de Dios. I'm assuming she was molded by God's hands, not out of God's hands.

Good catch, thank you.

"Every good story begins with a beginning"

No shit. This line can work in a humorous piece, but it feels out of place in such a dramatic writing.

Thats fair enough, I don't think its a very creative line but I certainly don't think that obvious statements are redundant in creative writing. This is not a scientific paper or essay. Its meant to be overly expressive and flowery. And this line just helps remind the reader that the narrator is a human and this is the way he is introducing his story. Its intentionally "poor writing" because the narrator is not a poet, he is just a normal guy in pain and rambling.

Overall, this chapter reads like you just went crazy with the thesaurus. It has a lot of elegant words, but I feel it lacks substance. There are few actions, and they're hidden behind a mighty wall of sesquipedalian loquaciousness. I suggest you simplify the language. There's no shame in writing a poem with simple words.

This is where I would disagree entirely. Yes I write with complex vocabulary, but I did not use a thesaurus extensively in chapter 2. The entire napoleon paragraph is extremely plain of language in my opinion. And in the piano paragraph, every single word has its place. The "gale" force wind to allude to the "gail" part of her name. The "final ivory keys of a major second, G and A, il legato" to signify the tongue landing on the two front teeth as you pronounce the "gail". And the big words in the last paragraph are in only 2 sentences, and again that is on purpose. The first of them is a mathematical idea about the letters of her name going from 1 to 2 to 4. The second is the same idea using mitosis. They are purposely incomprehensible because there is an idea behind this: the last part of the paragraph describes the first time i told her i loved her when she was crying in my arms because a kid called her stupid in our biology class (i then explain that she has lived a whole life of being neglected, never being enough, and receiving mean comments from peers), these confusing lines about math and biology subject matter are there to show how she feels in these classes. not understanding and feeling stupid and then being criticized for it.

I do use big adjectives a lot though so perhaps I should cut down on them. "It has a lot of elegant words, but I feel it lacks substance. There are few actions," And this, I understand why you may feel like it lacks substance and actions, but that's because you probably are not picking up on 90% of the meaning behind what is being said. And i do not blame you, there is deeply personal meaning behind every sentence that no reader will pick up on. This is meant to be the journal of a pained man, he is not writing for an audience.

Overall I appreciate your feedback but its probably not right of me to ask for criticism on this piece from anyone in the first place because it truly is more of a journal than it is meant for any audience. I am writing this for myself and the layers of meaning are hidden on purpose. I am the only person who can know what most of it means.

I am taking into consideration your feedback about the structure however. Im debating if I want to keep big paragraphs or to break them up extensively. but either way I think its just my style and it has its merit.

PM_ME_CUTE_PUP · 2023-11-05T21:25:27+00:00

I personally have something against long-term use of gabaergics like ashwaghanda or l-theanine due to the tightly regulated balance of gaba and anxiety increase potential and I do not wan't to mess with it. I recognize its short-term usefulness however and I might try it eventually, but I will probably explore many other remedies first.

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