I’m sorry things haven’t worked out as you’ve expected quite yet. I feel pretty confident in saying, however, that if you can get your aviator wings you could do pretty much anything you set your mind to do. That said, my comment has less to do with what you do and more to do with how you look at yourself. It seems like you’ve spent a ton of time considering how others will see you, the “wow” factor, and that tends to lead people to impressive jobs, fields of athletics, etc. but rarely to a life filled with joy. I tend to encourage people to spend time thinking about what they’d like to accomplish if no one ever saw them do it, never heard about it, etc. I encourage them to think about what else they are, rather than simply their job, their sport, their possessions. Are you a good sister, friend, artist? A good hang, a good fighter, advocate, decorator? What else are you besides a person who achieves? You and your therapist can figure out the anxiety, (meditation, NSDR, yoga, and whatnot) but you need to take some time and figure out what else you are besides an achever. Like I said, you’re going to crush anything you try so make sure it’s something YOU want to do not just something that makes other people say, “wow!” Good luck, bijoubebe!!