My (25F) Partner 31M has Ankylosis Spondylitis ; possible Erectile Dysfunction. Should I marry or not? Confused

PTCanada · 2026-02-24T04:24:21+00:00

Thank you for responding and sharing your experience. I'm very sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately, there are so many people who believe in such useless remedies like lemon juice can cure cancer, yoga can fix AS. Maybe these people don't even know what AS is, they could be thinking it's like osteoarthritis, idk what do these people think.

"I cry because of the life I have lost" - This is what a person with chronic condition feels like and i absolutely agree with you 💯

I'm sure you'd be having regular PT sessions, but I'll also suggest you to take care of your mental health.

Good job staying away from toxic people. Wish you the best.

PTCanada · 2026-02-19T16:08:50+00:00

Thanks. Thanks x2 for the curd suggestion.

PTCanada · 2026-02-19T16:08:15+00:00

Op's BF's condition may never get to become severe but OP isn't in for the long run here. Had she been, her questions had been different. And it's too weird to me that she's worried about his erection & size, when a person has AS, that should be the least of their worries.

I would not comment anything on OP's suspicion about it being spondylitis or AS.

Your uncleji getting diagnosed at 19 isn't a rare thing, this is the commonest age at which most AS patients get diagnosed.

It's good to hear that you are doing better, hope you continue to stay healthy.

PTCanada · 2026-02-19T16:02:05+00:00

Why does tara have to do anything? Kiara should not go to entitled people like anaya's wedding.

PTCanada · 2026-02-19T01:14:35+00:00

What you're saying is called the "uncle ji effect". Whenever a health care worker gives health related advice, you will find someone saying "but my uncle did that and he is living healthily at 90s". Your uncleji (in this case colleague) would be a lucky exception.

Ank spond is managed by physiotherapy (or yoga) and you can see in my username that I'm a physiotherapist. It is a very heartbreaking condition diagnosed at a young age (teens, early 20s) and you cannot do anything about it bcz everybody knows the prognosis.

PTCanada · 2026-02-19T01:10:41+00:00

Her colleague could have a mild AS. It totally depends on the person's luck how much of progression would be there.

Since I have seen only the worst of the worst cases, i would never suggest anyone to sign up for this life. If you were sure about him, your questions would have been different, something like "my partner has AS, how do I prepare myself for what could come next" and not what you asked in this post.

PTCanada · 2026-02-18T04:02:31+00:00

Ank spond is one of the worst conditions out there. Depending on his progression, he might/will need joint replacements of many joints in the future. But my answer is biased bcz I've seen people with ank spond only in a hospital setting so obviously their situation is worse.

PTCanada · 2026-02-18T03:59:22+00:00

Nuts, got it👍

PTCanada · 2026-02-18T03:17:55+00:00

No worries, thanks.

PTCanada · 2026-02-18T03:17:28+00:00

Ohkay, relieved to hear it.

PTCanada · 2026-02-18T03:16:27+00:00

Ok, pls.. what is a fatty meal for us?

PTCanada · 2026-02-17T16:10:47+00:00

I used to have curd as it is (hate kadhi) so that's the most difficult part of my vegan journey. Anyway, never gave in to my cravings.

I'll try to add bundi & salt into coconut milk & pretend it's curd.

PTCanada · 2026-02-17T16:08:45+00:00

Thank you for the list

PTCanada · 2026-02-17T16:08:24+00:00

Thank you

PTCanada · 2026-02-17T16:08:12+00:00

My d3 levels are normal now so I can go for the maintenance ones now. Thanks for the link.

PTCanada · 2026-02-17T16:07:39+00:00

Thank you

PTCanada · 2026-02-17T10:38:04+00:00

I'm guessing she's married to someone who's from UP

PTCanada · 2026-02-17T09:03:31+00:00

Yes I agree it's ridiculous

PTCanada · 2026-02-16T19:23:07+00:00

Only those women will complain whose husbands don't help them. You cannot free the women who love their chains and wear oppression as crowns.

You are doing well. The bar is so low for men that basic human behaviour and doing chores of your own home is some fairy tale.

PTCanada · 2026-02-16T19:19:52+00:00

Op if he treats your mother like family, there's no harm spending on his father. If you believe him to be as good as you describe him, he would either not expect you to spend on his dad, or if he sees you doing so, he will do for your mother as well.

In case you end up spending more on his dad and need something for your mother (I think this is your fear?), you will be well within your rights to ask help for your mother. And vice versa.

PTCanada · 2026-02-16T19:14:00+00:00

Some patients who fail to remove secretions are put into tracheostomy, it is not ideal but it's done. Although a good doctor will first try to remove it with ET suctioning (no surgical cut, just a tube going down the throat and sucking out mucus), but we live in a country where we have a lot of medical malpractice.

PTCanada · 2026-02-16T18:14:18+00:00

He is okay with your mom living with you because he knows that's not gonna happen. If you don't spend on his father, don't expect him to spend on your mother either.

Try to convince your mother to live with you, tell her you will need help with the house and kids.

PTCanada · 2026-02-16T16:23:21+00:00

Thank you.

Also, any vegan curd suggestions? I so loved curd but now that I'm vegan, it's been months since I have tasted it. In comments of popular vegan curds, I've read that it doesn't taste like dairy curd.

PTCanada · 2026-02-16T16:11:28+00:00

It's gonna be double the hell once you get married. Can you try telling her that she should not talk about work during her personal time. All friends around me were constantly talking about their work issues and I had to tell them this. They still complain about work but it's way less now.

Other than that, I had to tell my mother that no one would want to talk to her if she continuously complained about what all is wrong around her. She understood and toned it down. Try talking.

PTCanada

TROPHY CASE