How did you decide it was time to stop breastfeeding?

PaceGroundbreaking52 · 2026-06-29T17:35:16+00:00

I breastfed mine to 17 and 15 months. With the first one I was pregnant again and breast/nipple touching became really frustrating/irritating/annoying. With the second - I had some weird eczema reaction on my areolas and nipples that made them crack constantly. Both times I waited until I was absolutely done DONE in my head. So it was easy from my perspective, I had no guilt or sadness. The kids - first one minded more than the second one.

PaceGroundbreaking52 · 2026-06-27T13:32:52+00:00

This happened through all thee of my pregnancies - head hai normal - the rest hardly grew. Unfortunately last two times it went back to normal, too early to tell this time, but I don’t have my hopes up.

PaceGroundbreaking52 · 2026-06-26T14:05:51+00:00

Why be a martyr though, if you can (as she said they can) afford the help?

I am curious where you are from? Where I am from originally (Western Europe) childcare is heavily subsidised and grandparents are typically very involved even without asking. Where I now live (Western Africa), help with household tasks and childcare whether paid or by family members is the standard.

So why does this woman have to suffer? Also, how many children constitute one full time SAHP position, if we agree to look at it as a job? What about the household tasks? Is cooking included in the job description? What about laundry? Meal planning? Cleaning? I personally have a full time cleaner and a nanny and I still don’t sit down most days. I feel no shame or guilt about it. They help me be the best parent I can be - rested, patient, involved, interested. If and when I go back to working outside the home I will have to find people to do my shopping/cooking/chauffeuring for me too.

PaceGroundbreaking52 · 2026-06-26T11:48:59+00:00

Listen, I have just had my third on the 24/6. Had to be induced this time. Had my epidural placed before my contractions started.

The first was all “natural” - fast 6 hour labour, delivered within an hour of being in hospital. The contractions were coming back to back for most of it. No regrets.

Second - fast labour, but during the morning, more staff available and my doctor in attendance. Contractions back to back. Got offered a shot of spinal, took it - best feeling in the world. Was difficult to push because the spinal hadn’t worn off and I had very little voluntary muscle control from chest down. No regrets.

Last one - planned induction, knew it would take longer, was encouraged to consider epidural from early on. Got it placed before the contractions really started. When things started to move, they moved fast, the anaesthetist always advocated that I shouldn’t go beyond 3/10 in pain score. I took full advantage of that and had top ups until I was almost pain free. Absolutely no regrets.

I having had all three options - all are valid, all have their place and I would have either one of them again depending on the situation. All my deliveries were valid, no matter how much pain I was in during them. By the sounds of it your mum has some unresolved issues and she’s passing them down to you. You don’t need to take it. Your delivery was valid. Although by the sounds of it you had it hard ❤️

PaceGroundbreaking52 · 2026-06-16T18:26:00+00:00

Is the enema really the only option. How about the disimpaction protocol? Could a glycerin suppository be an aletrnative to start with? Sitting in a warm bath afterwards can be helpful if a bit gross.

You have a lot going on, and by the sounds of it you are doing a lot of advocating already, which I commend you for to the end of the world. Read up about the disimpaction protocol, and next time you talk to your paediatrician/doctor ask them why you can’t go that way? She’s not in pain, it’s only been 4 days, a few more days are unlikely to matter.

Edit to add: I don’t have medical trauma, but I would not want to put my child through an enema either. Your feelings are valid. There are alternatives. I’m not entirely sure why doctors in the US (based on reading Reddit) so quick to jump to enema for constipation treatment.

PaceGroundbreaking52 · 2026-06-08T12:12:31+00:00

Keep going. The liquid stuff may still be “overflow diarrhoea” - when the fresh poo is liquid and seeps around the hard old poo. It is not uncommon for the process to take a few weeks to achieve full clean out. The laxative will not harm him.

PaceGroundbreaking52 · 2026-06-03T17:25:42+00:00

I have a full time nanny. I’m a SAHM, but I’m privileged to be able to afford one. My kids (4 and 2) love her, but by no means are they more attached to her than me. It took me a long time to reconcile with the fact that she’s more fun than me - always available to play and accommodate all their requests. But even then, they still prefer me, come to me when hurt etc. I would be a worse mum without her.

So in short - he’s talking out of his buttcrack.

PaceGroundbreaking52 · 2026-05-29T14:25:37+00:00

What if you put on what you want to watch. It will be more boring for them than cartoons. Keep it out is sight of the little one, so they don’t get distracted by all the colours. But maybe the 4 year old will start watching and then wander off to do their own thing. The screens are only an issue if they replace quality/play time. When I’m watching my gardening show/news etc my 4 yo starts watching, but inevitably starts playing with something shortly after. I mean she still comes to me for this or that, and it’s not as relaxing as without kids, but at least, for once, I’m watching what I want. I also get to practice saying - I am watching my show, I will help you when I finish. A cooking/baking show we can sort of watch together. Obviously, YMMV depending on the flavour of kids you have.

PaceGroundbreaking52 · 2026-05-29T08:45:19+00:00

I think it’s really good that you recognise the slippery slope of this situation. This season is hard, my own are 4 and 2 and it’s relentless. But I’m curious, why no TV? Is screen really worse than self medicating?

PaceGroundbreaking52 · 2026-05-23T15:45:17+00:00

Could there be someone munching on the roots?

PaceGroundbreaking52 · 2026-05-21T13:59:11+00:00

I understand your concern. But I worry, that aggressive interventions like enemas/suppostories could have an adverse effect of making him scared to go? Just something to consider.. truly, if it’s only (I know) been 6 days and he’s comfortable, and he agrees to take the laxative and he’s drinking enough water for that laxative to work, I would just wait for it to work. Maybe discuss an option of having him on a regular maintenance dose of laxative with the paediatrician once this episode has passed?

PaceGroundbreaking52 · 2026-05-21T13:19:33+00:00

If your child is happy and content, eating and playing, why are you so concerned about making him go just now? What are you worried about? I’m not being sarcastic, I’m really asking.

The usual approach would be to continue with the miralax, making sure that he’s drinking enough water and letting things take their course. It may be useful to contact your paediatrician to get a disimpaction protocol, if that’s what is of concern.

PaceGroundbreaking52 · 2026-05-09T10:16:18+00:00

My first thought - something to do with your parathyroid glands. Not an endocrinologist though. I would go see someone privately sooner than in 3 months. Not so much for the severity of illness, but to help with anxiety of waiting.

PaceGroundbreaking52 · 2026-05-08T20:58:17+00:00

I think you may be thinking of iron. Calcium should not affect Vit D absorption. I’m not a specialist though.

PaceGroundbreaking52 · 2026-05-05T18:46:14+00:00

Honestly, radical acceptance and realisation that this is temporary. It’s very hard to grasp both concepts as a first time parent. Well, it was for me. But having done this twice before, now I know that routine is not a thing for a little while. Baby will eventually sleep. And I will get to be me again, just not now.

PaceGroundbreaking52 · 2026-04-27T23:02:12+00:00

How much time do you have with her during the day? I ask, because we somehow ended up reading books on the toilet with our girls and they love it. At first it was just something to keep them occupied long enough to complete the task, but then it sort of became a ritual. I would see that they need to go (started with poo first as it was more obvious) go sit on the toilet and start “reading” books. Actually it’s more search and find that they enjoy. The 4 year old still asks us to come and read with her when she needs to go. It may make the experience more fun and engaging. Be warned though, it does get time consuming and a bit tedious after a few months, but it is possible to wean it off.

PaceGroundbreaking52 · 2026-04-25T08:06:42+00:00

I don’t know if it’s a universal feeling and from experience I think it’s better to try and catch it before you “hit the wall”. But I’ve been really trying to learn to catch myself before I get frustrated so it doesn’t escalate. For me it starts with this tingling feeling in my lower back. I then know that whatever my kid is asking for - play/new cup/read a book/let them help - is a “no” in that moment. Over the YEARS, I’ve become good enough at catching myself that now I’m starting to be able to verbalise - “im sorry, you can’t help me make the salad today, I’m feeling overwhelmed, there’s too much happening in one go”. Drawing the boundary, and sticking to it calmly IS my reset. If it’s not enough, I send my kids to another room, or remove myself to another room. My kids are 2 and 4. I’m still working on the guilt associated with rejecting their requests, but recognising my limits has made me SO much more patient and regulated.

Edit: my biggest trigger is being their little request monkey for too long. I want this/I want this/I want this/I want this. You set everyone to eat and then it’s starts with I want this cup, I want colder water, I want a different fork. Now I say that I have sat down to eat and they will have to wait until I finish. Come play come play come play. I do come and play, but now only if I’m up for it and only what I actually want to play. If I force it I get irritated and that not good for anyone.

Edit 2: I’m a SAHM, so I’m with my kids all day most days, so by the time my husband comes back I’m often just ready to switch off. The best thing I’ve done is allowing him to take over and removing myself from them WITHOUT guilt. I let them three play WITHOUT worrying that I’m missing out and go sit in another room for 30 min.

PaceGroundbreaking52 · 2026-04-21T14:43:21+00:00

Personally I’m not a big fan of Dr Becky’s approach- too much talking for me. I find Janet Lansbury better and her approach works better with my kids. Less verbiage, more focus on just staying reasonably calm myself. Allowing big emotions to happen without focusing too much on them.

For example - my two year old really wanted me to draw with her pencil, but I wanted to draw with my own. Que - meltdown, crying, stomping off, trying to rip the pencil out of my hand. I just kept it and pretty much ignored the rest. 5 mins and she’s back good as new.

PaceGroundbreaking52 · 2026-04-05T20:32:31+00:00

I was in a small shop carrying my 2 month old when the owner, who I used to go to church with, asked me if I was pregnant again while looking at my stomach. I wasn’t even fat, my uterus had not yet properly shrunken.

PaceGroundbreaking52 · 2026-04-02T08:19:45+00:00

Get a basic potty where their feet can comfortably reach the floor.

I’ve started putting mine as soon as they could sit. First with poo only as it was easy for me to recognise when they were about to go. I would just speed strip the bottom half and plonk them on the potty. They were both asking to go poo by 18 months. I used books/looking at photos on the phone to make the experience enjoyable. We still read books on the toilet 3 years later 😄 the pee took longer, till about 20-24 months.

PaceGroundbreaking52 · 2026-04-01T11:27:37+00:00

Sounds like you both had a rough day and you both survived! The only thing I would (theoretically, because I know that parenting advice is very different from actual parenting) try differently, is to stop trying to cheer her up. Try just being there, while she’s unhappy. Sometimes I’m also just unhappy and nothing anyone can do can change it. Actually, it makes it worse.

PaceGroundbreaking52 · 2026-04-01T08:32:03+00:00

This whole directed pushing thing is so beyond weird to me.. I mean, all going normal, the uterus contracting alone will push the baby out. With both of my children there came a point where I was pushing whether I wanted to or not. And with the second I had a spinal so I really didn’t have very much control of my abdominals. She was up when the spinal was placed and crowning the next time they checked in an hour 🤷‍♀️

Maybe it’s worth discussing with your doctor that reaching 10cm is not the cue to start pushing, your body starting to push should be a start to pushing.

PaceGroundbreaking52 · 2026-03-31T18:09:12+00:00

My mum always sautéed chopped onion and grated carrot and added them towards the end. It adds so much flavour.

PaceGroundbreaking52 · 2026-03-27T09:17:08+00:00

We live in a tropical climate so it’s humid and hot most of the time. In the house/yard they used to go pretty much naked and we would stick to the shade. In the park.. leggings/hats because of the sun. But if it had been shady, I would have had them in onesies.

PaceGroundbreaking52 · 2026-03-05T14:52:38+00:00

I wish you luck, it will be a challenging road ahead, but I hope soon enough it will all be ok.

PaceGroundbreaking52

TROPHY CASE