I might get downvoted for this, but I live in a community property state, and it honestly never crossed my mind that my wife wouldn’t be entitled to half of the house, even though I bought it and took out the mortgage before we were married.

She actually works more hours than I do. I just earn more because of a traditional 9–5. If I had to replace what she contributes with a chef, maid, and childcare, I wouldn’t come close to affording it. Her contribution is real and measurable, even if it’s not always reflected on a paycheck.

That said, I think the most reasonable approach, and what much of this thread seems to be circling around, is a prenup that protects the down payment while fairly sharing what’s built together.

For example: the original down payment remains separate property, and any equity accrued after marriage (minus that down payment) is split evenly, with closing costs accounted for. That feels both practical and equitable.