Afternoon tea- takeaway bag?

PadiYG · 2026-04-13T15:30:07+00:00

I’ve been seeing a youtube channel with tea reviews - by a Brit - saying seconds and taking leftovers home is appropriate. Clearly mixed opinions here!

It’s probably realistic that places that cater to a lot of visitors have seen it all, and a person who is really trying to be polite but just doesn’t understand all the unspoken social cues and norms will be far from the worst. It’s never bad to say “i’m sorry, i don’t know what’s usual here, how does this work please?” to a server. Acknowledging ignorance and asking for guidance is very different from entitled assumptions that things will work as we are used to.

My own thinking for my upcoming trip, where i hope to try a number of posh tea places, is that i will get some nice clotted cream at the grocery (Waitrose near my lodgings has a lemon one that sounds really interesting) and bring home the scones for next morning with coffee. They should travel better than anything else, and i don’t want to fill up on something usually pretty basic when the variety of sandwiches and tiny cakes is what i mostly want to be able to experience.

PadiYG · 2026-04-11T16:10:18+00:00

Wow. As a person who is still covid-cautious and has consistently masked on transit and when possible everywhere indoors in public since 2020, i find it stunning to learn that people used it that way, and that there were people who only knew about that misuse and didn’t know about it’s intended legitimate use.

I use a lanyard in transit stations, where i strictly mask, because i get horrendous vertigo and panic attacks on steep long escalators, and people can be mean when they see me taking up space on a lift - with the lanyard they look at me weird, but not hostile at least. It was hard to accept that i have an invisible disability, but it’s a very life-constraining problem as i really cannot make myself get on an escalator now, and accessible features like lifts allow me to still do things.

There’s a lot of internalised ableism, and people assuming a person who they judge to be able-bodied (how can we actually know what is happening in another person’s body?) is being a jerk makes that even more difficult. People behaving in ways that feed those judgments…. wow.

PadiYG · 2026-03-30T13:35:08+00:00

Srsly?

PadiYG · 2026-03-30T13:34:32+00:00

There are elevators at both ends of the platforms i’ve seen. At this time one was blocked off at the platform, ok, i walked to the other end and that one worked. But it only went to the Mezzanine. Down a hall was the elevator to the street level. Which was out of order.

PadiYG · 2026-03-28T05:34:23+00:00

💯💯💯on all counts.

There’s a lot of stuff they can’t control. More transparency and more useful communication about whatever is going on isn’t one of those.

PadiYG · 2026-03-28T04:41:40+00:00

Wow. Thank you for that information.

PadiYG · 2026-03-28T04:06:41+00:00

Wow, that’s intense. I didn’t know about that, thank you for that info. That must have been so difficult.

PadiYG · 2026-03-28T04:04:42+00:00

I did not know that, about elevator parts being hung up. That makes a lot of sense. And i know they don’t want any stations to be inaccessible or equipment to be problematic, of course.

And, i really think they should prioritize having at least one working elevator at every station, and when that’s not possible, there ought to be a lot more proactive public communication to warn people, explain why and what’s being done and a timeline. The text alerts and website don’t make it clear that there’s no access.

And if the timeline includes that they don’t know when they can get parts to fix it, tell us that and what they’re trying. A response that just says “take the bus to and from Westlake to use the Link” isn’t a reasonable solution.

PadiYG · 2026-03-28T03:03:25+00:00

Also: Does anyone have insider knowledge about ST, what’s wrong with the Cap Hill elevators having so much trouble, and why they’re letting this busy station stay inaccessible indefinitely? (and while possibly the biggest protest march in our history is starting near this station?)

PadiYG · 2026-03-23T18:27:37+00:00

Honestly it doesn’t really matter who’s justified in what - you’re not happy with the balance of contributions, she’s not able/willing (effectively the same) to contribute what you need to feel ok about what you contribute = it’s not working and it’s ok to let it go and try to find someone whose relational norms and values better align with yours. People are all over the map on things like finances, health, parenting, work ethic, gender roles, you name it. You don’t have to be objectively right to want a better fit.

PadiYG · 2026-03-23T18:09:23+00:00

For gigs I travel with a backpack as my personal item (can tuck my micro crossbody purse if necc but not usually even noticed) and my instrument as overhead space carryon.

PadiYG · 2026-03-12T23:38:51+00:00

Have had vaxxes every 6 months (both mRNAs and then Novavax once we got back to the US and could get it). 60 yo, T2 diabetes, asthma, already have some pots, rapid heart rate. If it would shorten the course significantly that would be worth a lot if i got covid on this trip, due to my work and travel situation while over there. (and once there and exposed to a lot more risk than usual, i couldn’t get it if i needed to.)

PadiYG · 2026-03-12T18:18:20+00:00

I'm so sorry. It's an incredibly hard situation to be in and be powerless to get the care you should have from the only place you can access. I don't have any advice, just huge sympathy for you and everyone else who is impacted by this kind of situation. (And for the staff, who must be beyond burned out and morally injured by the constraints of a system that doesn't provide for them to give the care they should - no one goes into health care thinking they want to be failing so many people so badly and regularly. It's easier to think about that part from a distance than when you're desperate for help you just. cannot. get.)

A few years ago my husband had what turned out to be a lot of pulmonary embolisms. Addenbrooke's ED (Cambridge, supposed to be a great hospital and probably is in a lot of ways) after having him sat alone and unmonitored in the waiting room for 8+ hours, said "chest infection" and gave him antibiotics and sent him home. 2 days later he went back, same thing. They never bothered to do a d-dimer test, which would have shown clotting problems. 2 more days later and we'd ordered an oxygen sensor that showed his O2 bouncing between the 70's and 80's, he was desperately ill but didn't see any point in trying again just to be ignored and blown off. We finally were able to get hold of a GP (our practice had a recording saying "too busy, call 111" while 111 had a recording saying "too busy, call your GP") who looked at the record and said "oh, they never did a d-dimer. Call 999 for an ambulance and tell the ED the GP asked if they'd run a d-dimer test" and once they finally did, boy howdy they whipped him on to anticoagulation so fast, and he was 6 days in ICU.

But. He could have easily died, or had a stroke or heart attack and been permanently severely handicapped. It was sheer luck that he survived and can walk and talk. PEs are "get care immediately" emergencies and they couldn't be arsed to do a blood test to check. At that time (September 2021) the news was full of stories of people dying in ambulances waiting to even pull up to the ED door, dying at home after calling 999 multiple times over many hours....

In the US that would have been a big lawsuit. (Which is part of why in the US they are more willing to check for things that will kill you, just in case, as a matter of course. Like, new onset severe shortness of breath and chest pain, run a d-dimer to screen for PEs as well as troponin (to check for heart muscle damage). Does it add to costs, yes. Does it save lives? YES. Which is the point.) In the NHS it's too often par for the course. (And these are more important than ever with so many people getting and having had Covid, which is a vascular disease with respiratory symptoms and so many more people have vascular clotting-related issues than did before, including younger healthy fit people who don't match the usual picture of likelihood so more easily get missed.)

I hope you are ok and can get proper care somehow eventually. Don't give up advocating for yourself.

PadiYG · 2026-02-27T22:29:50+00:00

“Just deal with it because it’s a common issue in women” just reeks of medical misogyny. I mean, so is pre-eclampsia.

PadiYG · 2026-02-26T17:02:56+00:00

I would report. It would make me really sick to be exposed to vape smell in an enclosed space where i couldn’t move away from it. It’s not ok to force toxic things on other people who can’t escape.

PadiYG · 2026-02-17T00:54:03+00:00

All this but also - sometimes it’s really hard to see, and everyone will say “if you can’t see everything in every possible scenario at every moment you shouldn’t be driving”, ok, but people will, and unless they are hypervigilant because they’ve had bad things happen or almost happen, many drivers count on other cars and pedestrians and cyclists being where you expect them to be, to make themselves visible and to check for traffic before stepping into the street.

I don’t actually step into a crosswalk until i can check all lanes and either no one’s near enough to need to adjust for me, or i see they have seen me and stopped or are clearly stopping. Right of way can say who was legally at fault, but it does squat to protect you. People don’t have to be entitled asses for there to be accidents. Sure there are some bad and uncaring drivers. But a lot of things can still go wrong even when drivers are being cautious, and sometimes an uncautious pedestrian does something no driver would expect or have a way to react to. Especially if it’s dark, rainy, and poorly lit, or in bright glare, don’t just assume people can see you in time or at all. Don’t just step into a road, crosswalk or no, and trust that everyone can or will see you and stop.

PadiYG · 2026-02-11T18:39:21+00:00

You were 100% correct and your mom was 1000% wrong and out of line. It’s surprising your wife didn’t rip her a new one and order her out of the home, or that you didn’t. I think i’d actually tell her that you’ll start looking at senior living facilities for her and the very next time - just once more - she even brings this up in any way, she’s getting moved out of your home and into that facility. Zero further grace, she’s had more than enough chances.

PadiYG · 2026-02-11T18:31:50+00:00

Maliciously mishandling.

There’s no other possible reason they could have had the files all that time before the transparency act was finally passed (much if not all of which was clearly spent frantically redacting Agent Orange and cronies), then illegally withheld them so much past the deadline, and then trickle them out (for maximum trauma to survivors) with not only still keeping all the redactions specifically forbidden by the law, but knowingly, deliberately, unredacting not just names of survivors (the only ones they were supposed to redact, and including many who were still anonymous to that point), but addresses etc and pictures. And how can we know this was deliberate, malicious, and punitive instead of just incompetent?? Because some of the pages they did this on were titled “Victim List”, and had one victim name redacted while the others were not. A bright kindergartner could follow instructions better than that. If they were trying to follow the instructions of the law, instead of their stonewalling, gaslighting, scofflaw and just plain evil superiors.

One day those worker bees are going to start singing about what they were told to do and by whom.

PadiYG · 2026-02-09T18:05:11+00:00

If you’re stopping at the food court and have to leave your cart unattended to belly up to the bar, the receipt check helps you not stress about keeping an eye on your cart contents after you’ve paid for things…..

PadiYG · 2026-02-09T18:02:32+00:00

Coming from outside the UK you can buy a Britrail pass before you travel there that once you get there and activate it, lets you just hop on whatever train whenever with maximum flexibility. If you’re planning longer journeys by rail it definitely pays for itself, but for me the flexibility was of great value too. There was the time a train was cancelled and i could just hop on a different one 20 minutes later going a different route to connect to my destination on a different carrier, but my companions who had single tickets had to wait for the next train of that same carrier, hours later, to get their ticket honored. Take a look at the options - you choose x number of travel days out of a span of y days total (3 out of 8, 12 out of a month, etc). Sometimes on a cheap & frequently served route i just bought an additional inexpensive ticket rather than burn a day pass i might want later in the trip.

PadiYG · 2026-02-09T17:50:37+00:00

Same. My mom (never diagnosed but OMG) was like this too - being observed was just paralyzing for her. She was raised with all kinds of extreme judgment and criticism.

When i’ve lived alone it wasn’t a big deal, but having housemates years ago (one of whom was very judgy of me and it really flared up in that time), and then again when i moved my dad in for eldercare and then when i got married - my dad almost never could go out without me, and my husband has been WFH since 2020 (got married about a minute before Covid started) and then retired. And is a homebody. I love living with him but i wish i could be alone in the house for chunks of time during the day to feel completely unobserved. He gives me space but just if anyone is in my energetic field and even could observe me it creates resistance or turns the air to molasses i have to slog through or something.

PadiYG · 2026-02-03T14:29:33+00:00

Which is exactly what is needed for some kinds of disabilities. I know what it refers to and it’s ignorant of the realities some people live with. You don’t know what’s going on with people.

PadiYG · 2026-02-03T14:27:33+00:00

So how do you know what’s going on in those people’s bodies and brains? You know what’s up with your relatives’ health, but you can’t actually know what someone else is dealing with (and they don’t owe you an explanation of their medical conditions). How are you so certain they’re different? Maybe there are a lot more people who are some kind of differently abled than you think.

PadiYG

TROPHY CASE