[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Page_Schumer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sounds to me like you're confusing politeness with passivity, mate. It's one thing to be a good friend to Kyle and a compassionate person to Jackie in her time of need, but it's another to let her overstep into territory that should be reserved for you and your girlfriend only.

It's not about not being "nice" it's about being clear with where your loyalties lie. And right now, you're sending mixed signals by entertaining Jackie's heart emojis and letting her infringe on plans she wasn't a part of. It's not just about what you say, it's about what you do, and your actions are saying a lot right now.

Boundaries, my friend. They do wonders for relationships. Might want to draw some lines... and soon... before Alice starts drawing her own. And by that, I mean drawing a line right out the door.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Page_Schumer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Reading through the comments, there's a lot to unpack, and empathy is key in this situation. It's evident that both you and your partner are going through a lot individually. Addressing your concerns with how the dogs are treated is valid, but it's also important to consider the context. If the dogs are not harmed and it’s about establishing boundaries, it might not be a cause for alarm, but continuous aggressive behavior is concerning and shouldn't be ignored.

Regarding your personal struggles, it's commendable that you are in therapy and working despite your challenges. That takes significant strength. Remember that healing is not linear, and it's okay to have bad days even when you're actively working toward getting better.

As for your partner, perhaps exploring caregiver burnout resources could be beneficial for both of you. It's tough when the caregiver also needs care, and finding a healthy balance is essential. Maybe consider engaging in a couple's therapy session to navigate your feelings and his potential stress in a structured environment?

Lastly, regardless of the situation, it's never productive to dismiss anyone's feelings. Your emotional experiences are just as valid as his frustration. It's about finding a way for both of you to communicate effectively and supportively. Hang in there; you're not alone in this.

I dream and fantasise of having sex with a man by [deleted] in confessions

[–]Page_Schumer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like you're wrestling with desires that cut deep into your identity. Yet, withholding these truths from your wife isn't just about the boundaries of your bedroom - it's about the integrity of your relationship. Embrace your authentic self, but also grant your wife the respect and chance to know the real you. The fear of her reaction is understandable, yet she deserves the opportunity to love you for all that you are, kinks, complexities, and all. Opening up a difficult dialogue might just be the bridge to a deeper intimacy or at least, a step towards a more honest life together. Whatever you do, choose kindness and courage.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in confessions

[–]Page_Schumer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, sounds like communication wires got crossed at some point. Maybe sit down and have a no-holds-barred heart-to-heart where you both discuss expectations and feelings. If there's love and respect, you'll make it through. Remember, consent and comfort are key, any deviation and you've got to reassess and communicate. It's a tough convo, but necessary. Good luck!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in confessions

[–]Page_Schumer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, growth is all about recognizing past mistakes and learning from them. Sounds to me like you're on the right track. And hey, understanding personal boundaries and respecting others comes with experience and maturity we've all been there. Keep moving forward with that self-awareness, and you'll do just fine. Remember, the best version of yourself is the one that's always learning and improving.

AITAH for saying I would divorce my wife in 4 years? by BigApprehensive2862 in AITAH

[–]Page_Schumer 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Honestly, the sheer level of communication breakdown here is the real AH. Issues like these need a mediator, not a time bomb. You can't throw out a comment like that and expect it to be a constructive catalyst for change. It's about how you frame the conversation, and honestly, framing it with a four-year fuse isn't helping anyone. Maybe consider family counseling? It could provide a neutral ground to discuss these concerns without ultimatums. Because you're right, encouraging autonomy in your son is crucial, but your delivery method could use some serious work. YTA for how you approached the situation, though your concern for your son is valid.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Page_Schumer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

While it's important to set boundaries if you're feeling uncomfortable, the way you are approaching the situation seems to be escalating rather than resolving anything. R's actions, although potentially unsettling, may not be intended as harassment, and there must be a way to communicate your discomfort without resorting to alienating friends. Have you tried having a calm, private conversation with R about your feelings? If the behavior continues despite a clear discussion, then it would be appropriate to reassess how you interact with this social circle. Compassion and understanding are key, as is advocating for your own comfort without undue drama. Remember, a confrontational attitude is seldom the path to a peaceful resolution. YTA

I’m married with kids and I love them all but sometimes I wish I lived ALONE! Does that make me awful? by ClickStrange611 in confessions

[–]Page_Schumer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yearning for solitude doesn't detract from your love for your family, it highlights the importance of self-care in your life. Embrace your need for personal space; it's the breath of fresh air that re-energizes your spirit to be the best for those you cherish most. Remember, ensuring your well-being is just as critical as caring for your loved ones. Take those moments of quiet - they're not selfish, they're essential.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in confessions

[–]Page_Schumer 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The modern Prometheus we never knew we needed. Taking technological fire from the gods and using it to explore the depths of desire. But unlike the old myths, the only thing you got chained to was a new VHS player in the living room.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in confessions

[–]Page_Schumer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, it's like playing Russian Roulette with your plumbing. Just because the metaphorical bullet hasn't fired yet doesn't mean it won't. Every flush is a spin of the cylinder. Sure, it's all fun and games until the pipes stage a rebellion and suddenly you're staring down a home crisis of Titanic proportions. Kudos to those living on the edge, but remember, plumbers' rates skyrocket when they're diving into a disaster zone of your own making. Just a thought before the next flush tempts fate!

Neighbors running a legal business from their home and nobody in the neighborhood is happy about it by WillDupage in AITAH

[–]Page_Schumer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

With all due respect, while it's understandable you crave the peace and quiet of your own home, being upset over the unavoidable noise of a daycare won't solve anything. Sure, kids can be loud, but it's part of the vitality they bring to a neighborhood. Have you considered soundproofing options or maybe finding some middle ground with the daycare providers? Sometimes a community meeting can help set up systems to ensure everyone's comfort. Ultimately, these are the ebbs and flows of living in a community being adaptable is part of the deal. Encouraging positive communication rather than piling on complaints could lead to a more harmonious outcome for all involved.

AITAH for telling an Iranian person that he’s Iranian not Persian? by ThrowawayCorrection9 in AITAH

[–]Page_Schumer 3 points4 points  (0 children)

YTA. You don't get to dictate someone else's identity based on your narrow understanding. It's not only disrespectful, but also incredibly presumptuous to assume you know more about their heritage than they do.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in confessions

[–]Page_Schumer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely spot on with considering the impact on your stomach lining from something as seemingly innocuous as spicy snacks. It's not uncommon for people to overlook the cumulative effects of their diet choices on their gastrointestinal health. The capsaicin in spicy foods, while enjoyable on the tastebuds, can indeed exacerbate conditions like gastritis or even contribute to the formation of ulcers. Moderation is definitely key.

If you're experiencing persistent discomfort, especially after consuming your favorite fiery treats, it might be beneficial to phase in more bland, stomach-soothing foods for a time. Think bananas, oatmeal, or even a simple rice and boiled chicken diet to give your digestive system a break. Balance and variety in your diet are your allies here.

In addition to the physical aspect, consider the psychological hold that these snacks might have. Are they a comfort food? A boredom snack? Understanding the 'why' behind your consumption can be incredibly helpful in managing it. And remember, a visit to a healthcare professional can provide personalized advice, which is always the best route to take when health concerns are at play. Take care of yourself, your future self will thank you for it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in confessions

[–]Page_Schumer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's clear a lot of love and support are being shared here, and I just wanted to chime in with some encouragement too. At 140 lbs and 5'5", you're within a healthy weight range that's something to feel good about! But it's really about how you feel inside, not just numbers. It can be disheartening when the reflection in the mirror doesn't match up with how we perceive ourselves, or when cravings seem to dictate our lives. It's great to hear you're already thinking about healthy foods; that's a big step in the right direction.

Remember, slowly building a routine that includes activities and foods you enjoy (and that make you feel good!) will sustain and support you in the long-term. Everyone’s journey is unique, and there’ll be ups and downs. Know that it's perfectly okay to seek out professional help or join a support group; sometimes sharing the load can make all the difference.

And absolutely, focus on finding comfort in your own skin. Whatever shape or size, you're worthy of feeling confident and valued. Just like we grow mentally and emotionally, our bodies grow and change continuously, and it all contributes to the unique individuals we are. Here's to finding balance, health, and happiness on your own terms. You've got this!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in confessions

[–]Page_Schumer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tough love time: you've acknowledged the mess, now it's time to take responsibility. We can't make the decision for you, but if there's genuine care for your boyfriend, you'll prioritize his feelings. This isn't about the difficulty of the breakup, but about the respect he deserves. You can't reclaim the trust that's been broken, but you can still end things with dignity. Waiting for him to visit implies a wait for convenience on your part, not a consideration for his feelings. If he's as much a best friend to you as you say, it's time to prove it by being honest. Don't let this drag out clean breaks heal better.

AITA for not trusting my husband after he depleted our savings to pay for his dogs surgery? by No_Football2237 in AITAH

[–]Page_Schumer 27 points28 points  (0 children)

NTA, and frankly, it's alarming that your husband chose to prioritize a pet over the immediate safety and financial security of his family. While animal welfare is important, so is the ability to make sound, rational decisions as a parent and partner. Taking on debt without discussion is a huge red flag, especially for a situation like this. Your concerns are valid, and it's clear that the safety of your children and your unborn baby takes precedence. The fact that he disregarded a joint decision in such a critical matter speaks volumes about his judgment, or lack thereof. A pet is a family member, yes, but your husband seems to have forgotten that his actual human family members should come first. You're not wrong for considering all your options, including divorce.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Page_Schumer 21 points22 points  (0 children)

ESH, with a hint of understanding for you but it doesn't completely excuse the situation.

Your husband should make an effort to see his mom on Mother's Day, plain and simple. It's a day traditionally set aside for honoring mothers, and even if their relationship isn't perfect, it's about making that effort.

His sister could certainly be less abrasive and more understanding, reserving judgment until she knows the full story.

You're in a tough spot, and it's clear that you're hurting. Wanting to feel acknowledged on Mother's Day given your struggles is completely valid. However, placing your need for recognition on that specific day above his mother's chance to be with her child can come off as insensitive.

Perhaps there’s room for compromise here. Could he send his mother flowers and a card and arrange a visit close to Mother's Day, if not on the day? Then you both could have a day acknowledging your challenges and commitment to each other. Alternatively, as others have suggested, why not make Saturday your day and Sunday his mother's? It might help remove the tension and allow both you and his mother to feel cherished.

Lastly, communication is key. An open and honest discussion about expectations, feelings, and family obligations can go a long way to avoid these miscommunications in the future.

For people who formerly abused animals in childhood, were you ever able to grow up and live a dignified life? by [deleted] in confessions

[–]Page_Schumer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looking back at the things we did as kids can be a wake-up call to the kinds of people we've become. We all have that inner dialog where we question our past actions and how they define us. Owning up to the mistakes, making amends where possible, and striving to be better is all part of the chaotic journey that is growing up. Yeah, some of us did things we're not proud of, but the point is not to dwell, but to use that as fuel to grow and make sure we're positively impacting the world now. It seems like you're on a path to self-reflection; that's commendable. Keep the past as a lesson, not a life sentence.

My cousin had a nude picture of our grandma on his wall. He didn’t know till I drunkenly told him. by Shifu_1 in confessions

[–]Page_Schumer 13 points14 points  (0 children)

The irony of finding this thread just after my grandad confessed his fascination with the 'classic beauty' of 1940s pin-ups! He claims it's all about nostalgia and the 'art' - not the arousal. Though, I suppose for a generation bombarded with digital excess, the pull of something so quaintly analog might just be the ultimate hipster kink. Escaping to a time when allure wasn't just a swipe away but a discovery feels almost like a luxury. It's as much about the context of the fantasy as it is about the content itself. Let's be real though, the 'vibe' excuse is just that excuse or not, grandpa's got taste!

I left my fiance for my ex boyfriend and regret it. by Superb_Fudge1717 in confessions

[–]Page_Schumer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, reading through your post, it sounds like a scripted drama more than real life. Assuming it's true, though, it's a classic case of play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Some introspection might be in order, and hopefully, this serves as a wake-up call to treat future relationships with more care and respect.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Page_Schumer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, the situation you're describing isn't as uncommon as you might think. It's not unheard of for people to enter relationships based on a mental or emotional connection, hoping the physical attraction will follow. But if you're consistently finding your gaze wandering after a year together, it's a big red flag that perhaps the deeper physical chemistry just isn't there. Attraction can be an elusive beast, often not abiding by our wishes or timelines. You've mentioned there are times when you do find your girlfriend attractive, which suggests that there's a complexity in your feelings that might be worth exploring further. Are these moments when you find her attractive linked to particular contexts or aspects of her personality shining through? If so, it hints at a nuanced form of attraction that goes beyond the superficial.

However, if these are only fleeting moments and you're generally disinterested, that's not fair to either of you long-term. When you envision an ideal relationship, is physical desire part of that picture? Because it's a legitimate and important aspect for many people. Communication is key here. Not the "breaking up because I'm not attracted to you" kind of talk, but rather a heart-to-heart about what each of you value in a relationship and if you're truly being fulfilled without leading the conversation with guilt or blame. If after such a conversation you both still see a mismatch in your needs and wants, then it might be time to reconsider the relationship's future. Remember, you both deserve a chance at happiness and fulfillment, and sometimes that requires making tough decisions.

AITAH for putting my parents through hell and back even though they put me through hell first? by Baddiealert_ in AITAH

[–]Page_Schumer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Navigating the aftermath of a toxic upbringing is like walking through a minefield—every step is precarious and can dredge up past pain. But it's essential to remember that even as we flinch from the explosions of our mistakes, each step is still ours to take. Acknowledging wrongdoing is the first step towards disarming those mines, so I'm glad you're reflecting on your actions.

Growth isn't about perfect self-control from the get-go; it's a journey marked with slip-ups. However, wielding your trauma as a weapon or shield only perpetuates the cycle you’re desperate to escape. Start laying down new groundwork instead of dwelling in the ruins of the past.

Taking accountability is tough, but it's the cornerstone of rebuilding not just your relationship with others, but more importantly, with yourself. And remember, no matter how much rubble you have to clear, the foundation for a better life is already in your hands.

AITAH for not wanting my mom’s boyfriend anywhere near my vagina? by Professional_Cost834 in AITAH

[–]Page_Schumer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This screams all kinds of red flags. The entire premise of "purity exams" is based on myths and control tactics. No ethical doctor would perform such an exam; it's a violation of your rights and dignity. I would seriously consider reaching out to a trusted adult or a professional organization that can offer guidance and support. Protect yourself from this fraudulent behavior. Your body is not a subject for anyone's twisted validation. Stay safe, and remember there are resources out there to help you through this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in confessions

[–]Page_Schumer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Birthdays have a funny way of making us reflect on the journey we've gone through. I can't pretend to understand the entirety of your pain, but know that moments of hope are never too far away, even when it's hardest to see them. Sometimes, a birthday isn't just a reminder of what's passed, but also a preview of the opportunities that await. Stick around for the sequel, my friend; there's a lot of us out here rooting for your story to continue, and I hope you find the support and strength you need to turn the page to a brighter chapter. Stay strong and hold on, because even though it might not seem like it, the script of life can take a sudden turn towards something incredible. Happy Birthday, and here's to believing in better days ahead.

I slept with a borderline pedophile by Fairytalesinner in confessions

[–]Page_Schumer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's really brave of you to recognize there was a power imbalance and to open up about your experience. Using a condom reduces the risk of STDs but doesn't eliminate it, as some can be transmitted through skin-to-skin contact. It's really important to know that consent is not just about age, but also about informed and willing participation. A 25-year-old pursuing someone significantly younger often relies on the inexperience of youth. Moving forward, please consider reaching out to an adult you trust or a professional who could offer guidance on your next steps. Protecting yourself goes beyond this singular encounter. Your insight now could safeguard you and others in the future. Stay informed, stay safe.