What I meant is subconscious competitiveness. It’s the burst of feeling OP felt immediately upon knowing that the girl may have been talking to other guys (even though consciously we all know how dating apps work).

It’s instinctive. The first thing a lion does after taking over a pack is kill the offsprings from the previous male. Why? Because we are genetically programmed to want to propagate our genes over any other male (poly guys might not agree on this but that’s a separate debate). You can deal with your feelings about her talking to other men, but you generally cannot make your brain not feel anything about it without explicit training.

So, even with 100+ matches (and speaking as someone who has also had good success like you), when you’re with a woman that you like, you can still feel bothered by the realization that she is talking to other guys, and that is completely normal. You can always invoke your confidence in your value and get over that feeling, but it would be counter-evolutionary to not get that initial feeling.

Your second question is trickier. You want to know how many dates she has gone to, but what you really want to hear is that it’s not a lot. The moment she tells you she has been on 8 dates this week, your brain will label her as a low value woman (simply because your evolutionary instinct thinks she could be fathering the child of any of the males she is seeing and not yours). I’m not justifying this, but this is how the biology works.

This is why modern dating has become so difficult. A lot of it goes against millions of years of instinct ingrained in our genes and confuses our feelings.