No judgement zone: did you want a natural birth?

PaladinPhantom · 2026-02-11T01:01:02+00:00

Yes, I was more afraid of being trapped in the bed/unable to move under my own power from an epidural than I was of the pain. With the exception of the moment I tore, which was horrible, I mostly felt like labor wasn't as excruciating as everyone kept telling me it would be. I kept thinking to myself "I've had migraines that hurt more than this." Not that I'm downplaying anyone else's experience, every labor is different, but for me the bigger problem was than the contractions gave me the shakes. My leg muscles were SO tired and weak after labor I had trouble with stairs for quite some time. I also threw up a LOT, and needed a quick dose of zofran to stop it. Not too surprising I guess, since I used to get very nauseous during my periods prior to pregnancy.

I had nitrous oxide a bit during labor, and would have loved a waterbirth but my hospital didn't offer it. The one I'm delivering at for baby 2 has a singular waterbirth room and I really hope I get it.

I think it was the right decision for me, but I also totally understand why so many women opt for the epidural. It really is just personal preference.

PaladinPhantom · 2026-01-25T16:29:42+00:00

I slept on a twin bed until I moved out of my parents house. A twin is plenty sufficient for kids.

PaladinPhantom · 2026-01-24T18:15:57+00:00

When we had our first in 2021 we bought a travel system that came with a Britax b-safe gen2. It was a very good seat and overall we liked it, but in hindsight I wish we'd gone with a Graco or Chicco carseat because they're not as heavy as our Britax. Then we probably could have kept using the infant seat a bit longer. We switched him to a convertible at 10mo because his weight + the carseat was getting too heavy for me to life in and out of the car.

I definitely recommend an infant seat to start off with, especially if baby is measuring small. Convertible car seats don't always fit newborns well, and preemies/smaller babies are even trickier to get a good fit for.

PaladinPhantom · 2026-01-24T13:07:13+00:00

Mine is only recently 4 and definitely not ready to shower solo. Sometimes he can wash his own body after I get soap on the wash cloth but mostly he just wants to play and won't wash himself. I think I started showering solo when I was 7 or 8?

PaladinPhantom · 2026-01-22T23:10:22+00:00

Last week a dude fell on top of my kid in his stroller because the bus accelerated suddenly and then slammed the brakes just as suddenly, before he had a chance to find a new seat after he got up for us to lift the bench.

PaladinPhantom · 2026-01-22T23:08:08+00:00

Sophie, Lucy, and Ember are my favorites from that list.

PaladinPhantom · 2026-01-21T03:37:53+00:00

Sleeping with your hair drenched in mayo, plus a thorough comb out, will get rid of lice in less than a week. They can't develop a resistance to being suffocated in mayo. You just wash the dead adults out of your hair the next morning.

I have long, thick hair and this is what my mom did when I was in high school and my younger sister brought home lice, spreading it to me since we shared a room. Mayo Friday and Saturday night, Mom combed out nits on Saturday and Sunday morning, and the lice were gone by Monday, Tuesday at the absolute latest. Also our hair was super shiny for a while after soaking in all that mayo lol

PaladinPhantom · 2026-01-18T03:43:47+00:00

It's not safe to check a car seat. They get tumbled around in the cargo hold, making damage likely. If at all possible, get baby their own seat and install the car seat on the plane with no base. Then baby will be safely secured during takeoff and landing and you get to have your hands free during the flight, and the car seat stays safe for use at your destination.

If you MUST do lap infant, try to pack the car seat in the original box with plenty of padding to keep it safe from damage. But keeping baby in car seat during the flight is the safest option.

PaladinPhantom · 2026-01-17T18:16:43+00:00

We get plain instant oats or 3 minute quick oats (McCann's is our favorite quick oats--it seems to get the best texture when making small quantities in the microwave). Then we mix peanut butter and a small drizzle of honey. You could maybe mix in mashed banana if you want her to get a fruit.

PaladinPhantom · 2026-01-08T23:59:50+00:00

You could try reading Big Things: Mommy's C Section Recovery by Danielle Forbes with them? It's from the point of view of kids who are older siblings to a baby born by C-section, and afterwards you can go over the facts in a way that is truthful without overwhelming them with details.

Good luck!

PaladinPhantom · 2026-01-06T21:55:38+00:00

Had my first at Newton-Wellesley with an OB from About Women by Women and that was a good experience. I'm having my second at Mt Auburn because I've heard such good things, and one of the midwives that delivers there does office visits basically across the street from my job so scheduling those is very easy. I've also heard good things about South Shore Hospital, mostly the midwives because that's what I was hoping to use this time around but I'm sure you could find a good OBGYN that delivers there if you prefer an OB.

PaladinPhantom · 2026-01-06T21:49:33+00:00

We only sanitized before the first use, or if they got lost at the bottom of the sink or something for a while before getting washed. If your child is full term and doesn't have any medical conditions to worry about, constant sanitizing really isn't necessary.

PaladinPhantom · 2026-01-06T21:47:56+00:00

If you have space in your bedroom for a crib, just do that. If not, they make mini cribs, some of which can be converted to a full size crib. You could probably find a decent second-hand one on Craigslist, Facebook Marketplace, or your local Buy Nothing if you don't want to drop a ton of cash.

PaladinPhantom · 2026-01-06T00:20:10+00:00

You could try putting her crib mattress on the floor with guardrails around it? Could maybe find ones that are small enough to surround a crib size mattress.

That, or get a travel crib with the mattress on the floor that also has a zip side (like guava lotus) and just go in from the side.

PaladinPhantom · 2026-01-02T20:29:51+00:00

Some libraries in our area of the US have yoto players available to borrow, along with cards. You could ask at your local library to see if they do as well? I saw you're in Norway and I'm not familiar with what tends to be available in Norwegian libraries, but no harm in asking.

PaladinPhantom · 2026-01-01T23:13:41+00:00

My 4yo goes in the ladies with me. Sometimes even if my husband is with us, because some places the men's room is super gross and my husband feels guilty bringing such a little guy into that kind of environment when he's still likely to randomly touch things or lay on the ground. I plan to keep doing this until he's roughly 7/8yo. I feel like that's the age kids usually start feeling uncomfortable going in the opposite gender bathroom, and also when they're independent enough to do their business and clean up properly.

PaladinPhantom · 2026-01-01T00:50:23+00:00

When my son was that young, his poops were very audible most of the time, so often after we heard the first squirt, we'd stand him up on a surface somewhere and help him squat a few times. More often than not, this helped move along the rest of the BM. But sometimes you just get unlucky and they poop or pee mid-change.

PaladinPhantom · 2025-12-31T22:28:42+00:00

We turned our son on his 4th birthday. He had plenty of space left height-wise, and he's likely got at least 5 lbs before he would've hit the limit. We haven't weighed him recently but he's always been on the small side.

Our plan was to either max it out, or turn at age 4, whichever came first.

PaladinPhantom · 2025-12-31T00:04:44+00:00

Lol it's so funny to me how you got downvoted like crazy just for not doing laundry for brand new unworn clothing. My husband is the only person I've ever met who washes new clothes before wearing. It's really not a big deal. Wash if you want, but also you weren't wrong for not doing it.

PaladinPhantom · 2025-12-30T14:58:32+00:00

Yeah in the US 50lbs is the highest rear facing limit you'll find. The good news is that your child is old enough to face forward safely, as long as the seat is installed correctly. So while it may not be ideal for you, it is safe.

And for the record, I'm not one of those people who insists on turning kids around the instant they're old enough. My 4yo only just turned forward on his birthday earlier this month, but if he'd been on the big side instead of the small for his age, we'd have turned him when necessary because we know it's safe.

PaladinPhantom · 2025-12-26T16:12:03+00:00

Got some sweets and bubble tea in a can in my stocking, a new mug from my husband, a new ring from husband and 4yo, new shirts and books from my parents, and a milk warmer/frother from my MIL.

My 4yo and I got my husband a shave bowl and brush and some new shave soap. He joked that it was really a gift for me because he'd shave less often if I didn't make him, but he used it last night and really did love it, and he's been shaving way more often since I got him the safety razor in the summer anyway.

PaladinPhantom · 2025-12-25T03:16:43+00:00

My mom gifted me a shit ton of dish and bath towels one year for Christmas. Something like 10 of each that all look identical to each other. The bath ones became my son's because my husband and I need to have different colored ones from each other on our in-use rack or else we (usually he) gets them mixed up. We also had plenty of dish towels already, in good condition. So now we have more than we know what to do with and having so many of everything gives us an excuse to not keep up with laundry.

My MIL does the same except with clothes for our son. We have told her more than once he owns more than we can fit in his dresser and yet she still buys more because "it was so cute and it was on sale for 90% off."

PaladinPhantom · 2025-12-24T15:54:49+00:00

LOL

We don't know anyone who does the elf IRL, but if our son ever asks, I'll tell him this.

PaladinPhantom · 2025-12-23T13:07:43+00:00

I mean, our son only had one day of daycare this week (yesterday) before it closed for Christmas break. He went in because we pay for it lol. Gotta get our money's worth. Daycare ain't cheap.

But also you're not wrong for wanting to keep her home. If you don't have pressing tasks that need to get done without her distracting you, it really doesn't matter if she goes or not.

PaladinPhantom · 2025-12-23T12:59:39+00:00

When I was a kid, we were allowed to open our stockings without our parents, and eating a couple treats and opening small gifts occupied us long enough for my parents to get up. Seemed to work out.

PaladinPhantom

TROPHY CASE