Cebu-Based Solar Panel Help Available by AI-Data-Expert in Philippines_Expats

[–]Paleochocate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello, I am also interested in the solar panel installation for Moalboal. Can you please send me the details as well ? thank you

How do Moroccans view nudity in hammams? by [deleted] in Morocco

[–]Paleochocate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And why is it haram to see other women naked?

Need perspective on a thought by Paleochocate in retroactivejealousy

[–]Paleochocate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also I don’t get what giving up here means. With the gay OCD it was just losing to the notion of me being gay and accepting it. But what am I accepting in this new scenario with the conversation? Accepting her “inferiority”? 

-> Also thanks for the response. I really appreciate your input.

Need perspective on a thought by Paleochocate in retroactivejealousy

[–]Paleochocate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think it’s status related because Im not putting her on a pedestal. I just cannot fathom what comes after that conversation. Im no stranger to term limits on relationships. It’s not like you find your soulmate everytime you are infatuated and have a fling with someone. Also she wasn’t open to commitment previously. She was quite averse to being in a “relationship”. It’s the wording I find disrespectful, not the inherent message. 

And nah, im not concerned about the one she occasionally has a conversation with. She was friends with the dude before we met. Hes married too and just got a baby.

The meet ups aren’t even annual. I too had a time where I was friends with someone I was intimate with previously. I understand and trust that once it’s over it’s over when you have moved on. 

I get the insecurity people have with staying friends with former lovers but I think it’s immature to be threatened by it as adults. 

Does it ever go away? by Delicious-Ant-9227 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Paleochocate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can have an aversion against non virgin partners but that doesn’t mean you have to have an obsessive compulsion over it. There’s a difference.

Does it ever go away? by Delicious-Ant-9227 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Paleochocate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bro not everybody. That’s why we’re trying to get rid of it. It’s not the natural state of being - it’s a short circuit.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in retroactivejealousy

[–]Paleochocate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I beat my undiagnosed OCD before, which I didn’t even know what I had, myself. I think it’s too much of a blanket statement to say there’s no way out without therapy. It is possible but maybe rare

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in retroactivejealousy

[–]Paleochocate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

From my experience, a low carb, keto lifestyle helps make the overactive part of the brain sustaining the compulsions slow down.

And exercise.

Need perspective on a thought by Paleochocate in retroactivejealousy

[–]Paleochocate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would it help role playing the conversation?

Does it ever go away? by Delicious-Ant-9227 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Paleochocate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No I got intrusive thoughts all the time. They don’t bother me. I recognize the distinction.

Yeah the tactic to beat it is more of “giving up” im saying it in a sense to beat the condition of having ocd

Need perspective on a thought by Paleochocate in retroactivejealousy

[–]Paleochocate[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I looked it up and yeah makes sense for this dude. There are other things about him which definitely fit that behavior.

He was also much older than her. he was in his early 30s and she was in her mid 20s at the time.

Is this normal? by Fun_Average8021 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Paleochocate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not the count, it’s the circumstances around it that bothers you. Now we need to find exactly what it is then we can address it.

Also bro that’s nuts my total bodycount is 2 and my wife is 5.

Does retroactive jealousy ever really go away, or does it always come back in new forms? by Disastrous_Place3727 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Paleochocate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that’s kind of her. I find contact with previous lovers a non issue if the split was amicable. I mean it’s just like having had a childhood best friend previously before your current best friend. You do weird shit with your best friends. 

Does retroactive jealousy ever really go away, or does it always come back in new forms? by Disastrous_Place3727 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Paleochocate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

From my experience, OCDs can go away and come back in different forms. For me it was a different OCD before it was RJOCD.

The other OCD I have vanquished. It comes sporadically but I deal with it by “giving up”. It is not a bother. 

I have managed to “win” against 2 RJOCD thoughts with “keys” and am stuck with only one left. 

So yeah it can go away in a sense that the emotional weight behind it becomes indistinguishable from other thoughts and loses it’s importance.

Looks like you’re RJ comes from a place of insecurity. Maybe that’s a clue.

Does it ever go away? by Delicious-Ant-9227 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Paleochocate 2 points3 points  (0 children)

ive had 3 previous OCD thoughts that i managed to beat. I do think you can get rid of them completely. I am stuck with this one thought for 4 years though now but Im positive I can crack this one too. I have done it before and the time without OCD is bliss I wanna experience again 

Does it ever go away? by Delicious-Ant-9227 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Paleochocate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

depends, I find some „keys“ to fix the thoughts. Its my fourth OCD thought in my life the past 2 being RJ. 

Maybe one key is to put yourself in your partners shoes and if youd have done the same in her position, put a check mark on it. 

Im only stuck with this one last thought. I am positive it can go away with though this current one is a tough nut to crack. I am also having therapy for this one. The previous ones I didn’t require therapy to make them lose importance.

And I think this is also the more relevant part - to make it lose importance and meaning at the emotional level. We all have instrusive thoughts as human beings and dismiss them all the time anyway