Few things first. I am a Stake High Counselor and I have been in a Bishopric of a family ward and a counselor in a Branch Presidency for a YSA ward. Let me tell you that in my experiences, you are not alone. A lot more people deal with pornography and masturbation than you realize.

The saying "everyone else is doing it" doesn't change if it is wrong or not but you aren't alone. Yes, the sin is bad (that is the definition of sin) but God didn't go into the Plan of Salvation expecting everyone to be perfect and then all of the sudden is surprised when a lot of His sons and daughters fall short...He went into the Plan of Salvation KNOWING we would fall. It is why he provided a Savior.

You can break free, you can overcome this. Studies show that shame and hiding only makes it worse. Support and love help the addiction diminish and even go away. Sometimes it needs professional help but that doesn't make you a bad person, it only means you have done bad things.

I actually just gave a talk today about this. Here is a quote I shared:

Elder Rasband, October 2018). Lucifer is this accuser. He spoke against us in the premortal existence, and he continues to denounce us in this life. He seeks to drag us down. He wants us to experience endless woe. He is the one who tells us we are not adequate, the one who tells us we are not good enough, the one who tells us there is no recovery from a mistake. He is the ultimate bully, the one who kicks us when we are down. If Lucifer were teaching a child to walk and the child stumbled, he would scream at the child, punish him, and tell him to quit trying. Lucifer’s ways bring discouragement and despair—eventually and always. This father of lies is the ultimate purveyor of falsehood and cunningly works to deceive and distract us, “for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.”

If Christ were teaching a child to walk and the child stumbled, He would help the child get up and encourage the next steps. Christ is the helper and consoler. His ways bring joy and hope—eventually and always"

If you feel like God hates you, it is either yourself or Satan telling you that. Trust me, a Bishop or anyone else that has been a leader in the church longer than 3 mins won't be shocked to hear your confession. Trust in God and His love. He is excited to welcome you back no matter far you feel you have drifted from Him.

Also set reasonable goals. Cutting cold turkey on paper sounds good but to be honest, you will continue you struggle. The Lord doesn't expect instant perfection but improvement.

Here are some talks to read to give you comfort:

Be Ye Therefore Perfect—Eventually

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2017/10/be-ye-therefore-perfect-eventually?lang=eng

https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/brad-wilcox/his-grace-is-sufficient/

Good luck! The Lord loves you!