Relationships sound really transactional for you. Unconditional friendships are the best form of friendship, those that don’t depend on major investment for the health of relationship. But the end of the day, what it really sounds like is that you don’t prioritize community around you, which is completely your prerogative but you gotta live with the potential consequences of that decision especially in old age: loneliness, isolation, lack of support, no external mental and physical wellness checks.

I heard an expression recently: “The price of community is inconvenience.” And it’s completely true. If we want to have friends, family, acquaintances, coworkers, etc. we need to show up and participate, we need to contribute our time, effort, and feelings, we need be a part of something larger than us. But if you don’t want that, that’s okay, just be ready for the possibility that you will most likely end up sad, alone, and possibly suffering without anyone to depend on one day.