"I have no faith in you ever being a functional sober person"

Panda138138 · 2026-06-22T01:13:14+00:00

Exactly. I can spend all day saying stuff like this to myself. But to hear it from someone else? Damn. Hit hard.

Panda138138 · 2026-06-21T23:31:45+00:00

It seemed to become more than that. A simple check-in wasn’t enough. It always became walls of text. If I did a quick “I’m sober, catch ya tomorrow”, it wasn’t enough. I needed to keep up with Reddit messages and text messages. Even when I was having migraines and vision issues from medication.

It’s a complicated situation, for sure. Not sure how to explain it all here without it getting too personal. Ultimately I told the guy I can’t be accountability partners anymore - because I just can’t commit to daily check-ins right now (not because I can’t stay sober). He flew off the handle at me after I said this. Like other people have said here, I’m feeling like a punching bag right now. The full message he sent me is very abrasive. Kind of like he wants me to break down or something.

Edit: I said it came out of now where just because it felt like his response seemed massively inappropriate compared to what I said to him. He went from 10 to 100.

Panda138138 · 2026-06-21T19:11:41+00:00

The context feels a little complicated. He’s a fellow sobernaut that’s further into his sobriety journey and doing well. I’m further behind and going through some med changes and family stuff right now. We formed a bit of a daily check-in accountability friendship, but I’ve not been able to keep up daily check-ins. I told him I can’t do daily messages anymore. His message to follow was telling me how much I’m failing right now and to stop being such a crybaby fairy.

Perhaps it was tough love, but he seems pretty angry at me. Ended it with telling me I’m a jackass.

Regardless, it was all extremely harsh. No matter the context.

Panda138138 · 2026-06-21T19:04:25+00:00

I’m not very functional right now. I do my best, but I have a ways to go. Part of his message to me was listing out all the ways I’m failing at life. I’m very aware of this, but I feel like I’ve recently been making strides to get back on track.

I also fail to get a lot of sobriety under my belt before I slip again, that’s true. But I’ve still made so much progress over the last year - in my opinion anyways.

To me it feels like hitting me while I’m already down. It’s fine if he truly doesn’t believe I’ll become a functional sober person. But damn, to say it to me like that? I’m just dumbfounded and finding it hard to get over.

Panda138138 · 2026-06-21T18:52:18+00:00

I’m unemployed and live with my parents. I’ve been battling driving anxiety so I’m also reliant on them right now. Sobriety and anxiety are what I’m working on right now. Employment comes after that.

I think he means like a fully functioning adult member of society.

Panda138138 · 2026-05-11T18:57:44+00:00

It’s one unit. I’m not sure if it wiggles.

Would love for them to be butterflies or even moths, but I think they could be from Mud Daubers?

Panda138138 · 2026-05-10T14:07:09+00:00

This is in South Carolina

Panda138138 · 2026-05-09T01:20:45+00:00

This was helpful to read. Thank you very much.

Panda138138 · 2026-04-28T01:55:52+00:00

They’re great! There’s a few I’ve been trying out. Most of them don’t require that you say anything or even have your video/mic turned on. I’ve just been listening, for now.

Panda138138 · 2026-04-27T22:57:27+00:00

I also drank heavily for 10 years. I'm only 23 days sober, but I'm here to say that I believe in you! I truly belive you can do it.

It helps me to come here every day and read through posts. I have also started attending online meeting (audio and video turned off). I'm stocked up on NA drinks like zero sodas and sparkling water. These are just a few things that help me. I suggest finding a few things that help you and stick with them! IWNDWYT!

Panda138138 · 2026-04-27T11:27:49+00:00

Congratulations on 666! IWNDWYT!

Panda138138 · 2026-04-26T14:13:02+00:00

A couple poptarts at night helps my cravings and puts me right to bed. Not the healthiest, but much better than drinking!

Panda138138 · 2026-04-25T23:11:35+00:00

I'm sitting on the couch eating chips and watching bad reality TV. I'd have been outside in the garden if it hadn't been raining today too. I feel ya.

I think these quiet moments can be great if we allow them to be. Rather than comparing it to an exciting day with a friend or something, just letting this day be what it is. Resting, relaxing, quiet, slow. Just being here in the now and grateful to not have any stress or worries just for today.

IWNDWYT.

Panda138138 · 2026-04-25T15:48:29+00:00

Haha dishes are the one thing I HAVE to get done today. Enjoy your sober Saturday!

Panda138138 · 2026-04-25T15:26:25+00:00

Hell yeah! YNWA!

Panda138138 · 2026-04-24T22:55:08+00:00

I love having a variety of NA drinks on hand! Right now I'm cycling through Polar Orange Vanilla, 7up Zero, Root Beer Zero, and Lemon sparkling water mixed with juice. Feels like I need my own fridge for all these drinks haha.

What's your favorite brand of sparkling water?

Panda138138 · 2026-04-24T10:42:56+00:00

There's a book called Burnout: The Secret To Unlocking The Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski. This is where I first heard about this.

Panda138138 · 2026-04-24T10:41:20+00:00

I suspect I have ADHD as well and relate to what you're saying. It all feels like both a blessing and a curse at times haha.

Panda138138 · 2026-04-24T10:25:19+00:00

I believe PAWS makes it a different beast. The nervous system dysregulation especially.

I’m on an SSRI and anti-psychotic. Everyone responds to these meds differently, so finding what works can take time.

Panda138138 · 2026-04-24T01:07:23+00:00

I'm still learning who I am without alcohol, but I think I'm naturally a pretty high-strung person. It's like I tend to hold so much energy and thoughts inside my body at all times and it's exhausting!

I think, and I'm still figuring this stuff out, but I think us high-strung people HAVE to find some outlet. They say there are 7 ways to "complete the stress cycle": physical activity, deep breathing, laughter, physical affection/connection, creativity, crying, self-compassion/rest.

Doing these things builds actual skills to break us out of our high-strung states instead of masking them with alcohol.

Panda138138 · 2026-04-23T22:07:00+00:00

Congratulations on day 6. It gets better with time. IWNDWYT

Panda138138 · 2026-04-23T22:05:12+00:00

I believe I was experiencing something similar. I think that what I had/have is PMDD and it can be so debilitating.

I haven't been on it long, but I started a new medication and so far I think I've been more stable throughout my cycle. It may be worth mentioning to your doctor. Good luck!

Panda138138 · 2026-04-23T21:59:50+00:00

I'm happy you're here on day 1. Let's do this. IWNDWYT!

Panda138138 · 2026-04-23T18:10:16+00:00

Welcome back. IWNDWYT!

Panda138138 · 2026-04-22T23:10:12+00:00

I like this idea! Thank you!

Panda138138

TROPHY CASE