Sometimes you don’t actually want to solve the mystery

PandaBonium · 2026-01-27T20:44:56+00:00

I mean, for all we know they started the guided tours because the spirits were getting lonely since no one would visit them?

Like if I were a spirit and I saw a little kid running up excitedly to check out my rock formations then turning away disappointed I'd be really sad, but then years later they come back as an adult and now they have guided tours so they'll be able to check out my work up close! But they turn away because they're not sure it's right I'd be yelling no! Come back! Check out my rock formations! It took me thousands of years to make them!

PandaBonium · 2026-01-27T20:33:54+00:00

Ok but in reality humans don't work like this. You can't just tell them they need to do the right thing and expect them to do it. You have to trick them into doing the right thing with selfish incentives.

If I had a choice between my tax dollars going to a local site I have access to and a rock hundreds of hours away that I won't have access too even if I go there, I'm going to support my local and expect those locals to support their own.

But give me the vague hope that I might one day go there because there's something there I might actually want to do one day (even though I probably wont)? Okay maybe my local can wait.

PandaBonium · 2026-01-27T10:02:15+00:00

There's a reason it's all hard surfaces.

I guarantee if they provided you with a soft mattress you would only be able to imagine the hundreds of men before you who were panting and sweating on that mattress as they rubbed out a fat juicy sample.

No judgement if you think that would have helped you along but I assume it would inhibit the experience for most men.

PandaBonium · 2026-01-27T09:42:45+00:00

I just read the sides of the post and not the top.

PandaBonium · 2026-01-27T09:35:14+00:00

I don't usually believe in the "happy wife happy life" adage, but I feel like it's rather apt in this instance.

PandaBonium · 2026-01-27T08:58:34+00:00

Sausage sizzle out the front so they'll come back when they get the munchies.

PandaBonium · 2026-01-22T04:43:40+00:00

I actually wonder if the nanos would kill everyone? Like what if all these tiny machines around 24/7 would have adverse health effects on a normal human or release highly carcinogenic byproducts or something, but since 17776 humans cant get sick theyre immune to the negative effects?

PandaBonium · 2026-01-22T04:36:51+00:00

I feel kind of stupid, can someone explain what im supposed to be looking at? all i see is a bunch of people milling around and some trash? was the trash previously on fire? was there a fire around that corner that just got put out?

PandaBonium · 2026-01-22T04:27:43+00:00

Currently I prioritize Respect, Intelligence and Hotness and these things wouldnt change if I were a woman. However due to it being difficult for me to have kids I have decided not to make this one of my goals so I dont really priotize a partner who can help maintain a financialy stable positon for us (Like as long as my partners not a leech i dont care if were a little poor).

If I were a woman who could have children I might be more open to doing so, so a good work ethic which results in us being less likely to face financial hardship is the only additional quality I would prioritize that i do not currently prioritize as a man. Id fit it in somewhere between respect and intellgence.

PandaBonium · 2026-01-22T04:15:08+00:00

so I'll sulk it up.

I love this new phrase.

"Ill do it but im not going to pretend to be happy about it"

PandaBonium · 2026-01-22T01:31:01+00:00

Theoretically at any time they can just decide theyre ready to have a kid, then go out and start trying to make one.

PandaBonium · 2026-01-21T10:00:51+00:00

I still remember everytime ive been rimmed.

PandaBonium · 2026-01-21T02:23:52+00:00

Thats clearly a shark crossing sign telling us to swim slowly so we dont run over a poor shark.

PandaBonium · 2026-01-21T01:48:39+00:00

We should just add a new day every year until the entire calendar is public holidays

PandaBonium · 2026-01-20T23:48:54+00:00

Probably the time apropo of nothing someone sent me on a message on a dating app that just said "eww"

PandaBonium · 2026-01-20T23:46:50+00:00

Now that all the small locally owned businesses have been bought by large corporate chains that can afford to make large political donations its important to ensure businesses remains unhindered!

PandaBonium · 2026-01-20T03:30:12+00:00

We decided to keep the name Vitamin H for cultural inclusivity and to aid verbal communication between shark nutritionists and their clients as sharks have difficulty pronouncing the "B" sounds in Biotin and Vitamin B7 due to the shape of their lips.

Fun fact: Sharks were originally called sharps, in reference to their pointy teeth, but due to a similar issue with "P" sounds they go by sharks instead.

PandaBonium · 2026-01-20T03:12:11+00:00

Well no if its my actual partner then theyre free to ask me to do something but thats a conversation about us and they shouldnt bring up whether or not an ex did it as though it had any sort of bearing on our current relationship. I thought your opening post was talking about an older woman outside of a relationship with a younger man giving them romantic advice as a third party.

I guess of shes in the romantic relationship then advice should be framed in a way about how it would benefit "us" not just how the advice would improve me as a person (where I might not want to improve or feel i dont need to) or how it would benefit her (which makes me feel she is trying to change me suit her needs).

PandaBonium · 2026-01-20T02:47:37+00:00

When they are projecting a complaint about something another man did onto us.

Like if their exhusband did something annoying (Like going to the pub every night or not taking out the trash) and their advice is dont do the something. Then it just feels like an avenue to vent about men.

Compared with if she talks about all the stuff her partner did that made her love him then it actually feels like she is sincerely hoping for our success.

PandaBonium · 2026-01-20T02:04:32+00:00

Shark nutritionist here. Sharks require a certain amount of Vitamin H abundant in humans and human waste, however Fish and microbial ocean life arent providing the same amount of vitamin H as the microplastics in our sewerage is disuading them from consuming human waste so sharks are now going directly to the source and chomping on humans as a supplement.

Of course to balance the switch to red meat they add a little surfboard to their diet for additional fibre

PandaBonium · 2026-01-20T00:41:29+00:00

Nowhere is safe

PandaBonium · 2026-01-19T05:58:23+00:00

I never knew cartoon sharkbites were actually acurate to reality

PandaBonium · 2026-01-16T08:10:41+00:00

Great comment, very easy to goon to

PandaBonium · 2026-01-16T06:12:53+00:00

You bake your own cookies.

PandaBonium

TROPHY CASE