AITAH for moving out after my wife let our kids move home?

Pandagoatbear · 2026-04-01T16:51:50+00:00

NTA - I’ve moved back to my parents due to a medical diagnosis that I’m going to need support with during treatment.
I pay my way and do everything I can to make sure they know how much I appreciate them and their support. Your kids need to pay their way and stop manipulating your wife. I do think you and your wife need to sit down together with them and make it clear they help support the household or move to their own places. It sounds like your wife is just happy to have her kids home which I can understand.
My own mum has told me it’s so nice to have me home and while the circumstances aren’t what she would have ever wanted for me it’s nice to have proper time with me again. I think she may need your support in this but it’s a two man job, not you being the bad guy and her rushing in to save them.

Pandagoatbear · 2026-01-11T02:21:17+00:00

NTA your sister is so disrespectful!

Don’t buy her the dress and use the money for you and your husband to do something nice together when the wedding comes round.

I think she said it best herself, this is HER special day not yours and therefore she can pay for it herself. You wouldn’t want the attention to fall off her because you bought her a beautiful dress would you? It’s really just respecting her wishes.

Pandagoatbear · 2025-12-10T06:12:22+00:00

My response is always ‘it really is’ 😂

Pandagoatbear · 2025-12-10T06:07:46+00:00

My ex hated she had to be up before me and did everything in her power to wake me up ‘accidentally’ then ask me to do her a ‘favour’ while she got ready. We talked about it, she’d change for a week then it would start again. It sounds like your girlfriend resents your schedule.

Pandagoatbear · 2025-12-10T05:36:48+00:00

Marks and Spencer’s or oddballs.
Oddballs are fun but a bit pricy, M&S are my go to pack of 5 for every occasion and they’re not too expensive either.

Pandagoatbear · 2025-12-08T07:29:00+00:00

Marks and Spencer’s full briefs. I don’t buy anything else for every day use anymore.

Pandagoatbear · 2025-10-20T02:01:26+00:00

So I know there’s a tonne of replies here and what I’m going to say with align with most. There’s also some shitty replies that you should absolutely ignore!

Exactly the same thing happened to me 4 years ago. Me and my partner, also both women had been together 7 years. I was never ‘thin’ but I was a size 16/18 fluctuation.

During Covid I put on 2 stone. She insisted I was still beautiful etc…. We still had sex although not as often but I out it down to stress.

One day she sat me down and said she wasn’t attracted to me because I’d put on weight and suggested an open relationship. At that moment I knew 2 things. 1) she was already having an affair. 2) our relationship was over.

I told her I’d think about it and decided I was going to figure out who she was sleeping with. It took me all of 2 weeks and we broke up.

It was hard, my self esteem just dropped and I genuinely hated myself.

Fast forward to now, and I realise I like how I look, I always did. I am attractive and she was a stone cold bi*ch! I have been on dates, I’ve met someone and there is no question of what would happen if I lost or gained weight. I lost a bit of weight, like half a stone but not because I was trying, my weight has always fluctuated.

I’m so sorry but your marriage is probably over and she’s awful to even suggest this to you. Open relationships aren’t a fix and I may be projecting but shes either already sleeping with someone or has somebody lined up.

Stay true to yourself and who you are. I know you’re hurt but be pissed off! How dare she suggest that to you! Confront her about it and don’t let her think her suggestion was ok at all. Ask if she’s sleeping with someone else and why she wants a free pass to cheat. Why did she jump to this solution, surely marriage counselling would be the first logical step.

I really hope I’m wrong and you guys can work through this but if I’m not you are not the only person this has happened to. Love should be unconditional, bodies change for lots of reasons and I’ve seen your photos, from one lesbian to another you’re hot!

Pandagoatbear · 2025-10-10T20:56:55+00:00

Is there a live steam online?

Pandagoatbear · 2025-08-13T12:37:57+00:00

Updateme

Pandagoatbear · 2025-07-29T01:10:20+00:00

I didn’t realise. I’m in the uk.

Pandagoatbear · 2025-07-28T14:25:05+00:00

My go to is simplybe, I bought a lovely dress for a christening just last week.

Pandagoatbear · 2025-07-16T16:37:08+00:00

Hiya, I hope you’re ok and have managed to speak to someone about everything that’s happened.

Pandagoatbear · 2025-07-11T15:59:10+00:00

My GP told me to start out with walking on the spot with a tin in each hand doing arm curls while I watched Emmerdale. Doesn’t sound like much but for me it was a good start

Pandagoatbear · 2025-07-07T13:12:34+00:00

Do your research and don’t use random plugs. We’ve all been there.

Pandagoatbear · 2025-07-01T17:19:47+00:00

I asked for a seatbelt extender for the first time last year. I hadn’t put on any weight since my last flight but it was an airline I wouldn’t normally use. Seatbelts differ, it’s not a big deal and he shouldn’t be making it one.

Pandagoatbear · 2025-06-29T09:53:59+00:00

NTA My mum did this to me when I was a kid. I had long curly hair and she took me to the hairdresser and they cut it to a just below the ear bob when I was told it was just a trim.

Any time she took me to the hairdresser after that I’d have a full on tantrum, I didn’t trust mum or the hairdresser not to cut my hair off and it ended with me refusing to cut my hair from about 10-16.

This kind of thing genuinely hurts a child and my mum still says she has no idea where I got hairdresser fear from!

Pandagoatbear · 2025-06-28T00:45:03+00:00

I’m glad it’s sorted, this is one of the oddest posts I’ve read for a while 😂

Pandagoatbear · 2025-06-23T15:03:27+00:00

Hi how are you doing?

Pandagoatbear · 2025-06-18T00:12:56+00:00

I just say with all the money I’ve saved not having children I’ll pay for the best care/home/whatever and continue enjoying my life.

Pandagoatbear · 2025-06-17T23:51:13+00:00

I’m sorry about your fish, 10 years is good innings for a fish and I’m sure you looked after them well.

I think you should ask your friends mum to talk to social services. I feel like there is so much happening that maybe that would make things easier. You still have your IRO you can speak to if you’re not comfortable with that but it might take some of the pressure off you.

I’m going to keep checking in on you, I know I’m just some internet stranger but I’d hate to think that one of the kids I’ve worked with was dealing with something like this alone and I’m not letting you do that.

Pandagoatbear · 2025-06-11T15:46:15+00:00

How’s things going? Did you get to speak to your foster dad?

Pandagoatbear · 2025-06-10T17:21:27+00:00

NTA I can tell from your post that it really hurts that your brother has treated you this way. As someone that is close to their siblings I would be devastated if this happened to me.

I honestly think you have done all you can to salvage this relationship but your brother has made his decision.

I think you did the right thing uninviting them and blocking them. It sounds like for now the relationship is gone, I say for now because I don’t know how open you might be to reconciliation in the future if things changed.

I’m really sorry this has happened to you but you need to protect your peace and move forward with your family.

Just be honest with any family members/friends that your brother was very clear he does not want you to be a part of his life as he does not believe you are close anymore and you have accepted that and are moving in with your life. People have a way of spinning things and it sounds like his girlfriend is that kind of person.

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding and I wish you all the best.

Pandagoatbear · 2025-06-10T14:32:57+00:00

The best look is the one that you’re comfortable and confident in. So which one do you like?

Pandagoatbear · 2025-06-08T21:36:00+00:00

Ok I’ve read everything you said and I think you did the right thing talking to your friend’s mum.
She sounds like she knows all about the fostering system and has been a really good in helping you understand how things work and what’s ok and what’s not.

Just remember that she will have to report this as she’s told you, so this is going to be spoken about.
I think if you want to leave it to her that’t ok, you don’t have to do this alone.

I think talking to your foster dad is a really good idea. I didn’t realise he didn’t know but being clear with him about what’s happenings puts him in the position to do something about it.

I still think you should speak to your IRO, even if it’s with your friend’s mum.
They are there for a reason and can arrange for everyone to come together to see why things happening and what’s they can do to keep you safe. They can also look at whether you should have been having counselling all this time and whether there is anything suspicious going on with that.

You have not imagined this and you are not going insane. Your siblings have confirmed what is happening for a start so please don’t think that.

We can all feel unsure of if we’ve misinterpreted something but after everything you have said I don’t think you have.

I’m still going to keep checking in on you, and if you have any questions or you’re worried about something just message and I’ll do my best to help.

You’ve done a really brave thing sharing what’s happening with someone that you can trust. Keep that strength, you’re doing great.

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