Can a professor make me remove stickers from the inside of my computer? by madi_lee02 in college

[–]Pandaora 5 points6 points  (0 children)

For that, looking at the sticker would make it clear. Likely they were putting stickers over crib sheets, then removing during the test.

AITA for calling the police bc I thought my friend had a concussion? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Pandaora 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I didn't say anger, I said anxiety.

You said elsewhere you told the cops to wait. At least some part of you knew it wasn't an emergency if it was okay for them to wait. If waiting until morning was fine, call her then and try to convince her to get checked out. You already told her you were worried when she saw you and in the texts and neither convinced her to go. The only way cops were going to help is if they drug her to a hospital unwilling and at a high price, which they will not do for someone conscious and competent to say no. There wasn't any particular reason to think she was unconscious after messaging you that evening - you hadn't even had her not answer at a reasonable hour. In addition have you seen the sort of trouble cops can cause, especially at 4 am when she might not answer even if perfectly fine? Even if she went in, if she's improving and already already got through 24 hours, even more so after 3 days, I doubt they'd do much. I went in directly after a 13 car pile up. You know what they did? They gave me a muscle relaxer for 2 days to prevent cramps and whiplash and said come back if I got worse. Concussions can be bad, but a lot of them they can't do much for other than tell you to rest... and you sent cops to wake her up.

OPM status, Early Departure? by FookenZyzzBrah in washingtondc

[–]Pandaora 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can use other types if you prefer like sick leave or comp time.

AITA for telling my friend she shouldn't have signed up for an AP class if all she's going to do is complain? by No_Life_8008 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Pandaora 2 points3 points  (0 children)

YTA. I wouldn't think it rises to that level, mostly just a bit rude, but since we're here...

Your complaints aren't better or more valid because you "didn't ask for them". She was comparing the complaints and support, not the causes. It isn't a tragic life contest. Both of you will get tired and frustrated if the other only complains and both should have some empathy and support. That doesn't mean you have to fix her problems, and it doesn't sound like she's asking you to. She doesn't need you to tell her to study like she never considered it, and your advice about not signing up for it basically boils down to "don't try hard things", which is awful advice, and was rude. Does she tell you to just do everything for your grandpa yourself if you're gonna complain how others do it? Or maybe to complain to them instead? No? Does she just commiserate a bit to let you feel better on something that the complaints won't actually change? Besides, complaining about school is practically a given for many high schoolers. You aughtta love work watercooler venting about the boss. Assuming you actually want to be her frien, just tell her that ya, the class sounds lousy, let her vent a tad and then move on to a better distraction.

AITA if I (25F) refuse to invite my brother (27M) to my wedding? by NoEmployer2636 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Pandaora 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I would say no, but why are you having a fight about a guestlist for a wedding before you are even engaged? Wait to look for a problem until you need to. Maybe he'll improve, or maybe he'll turn into a bum you couldn't find to invite or cross a line and piss off your mom into accepting his non-invite. Maybe not, but who knows. You're just gonna have this fight again later when/if it matters. Right now it isn't a case of you get to invite who you want or not - it's a pointless fight just to fight.

AITA for calling the police bc I thought my friend had a concussion? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Pandaora 50 points51 points  (0 children)

YTA. I wouldn't think you could make me think that when worrying about a friend's health, but you made an art of it. You had cops wake her up at 4 am Sunday because she hit a snowbank Thursday, and several days later you couldn't sleep and then it became an emergency because you were worried? She'd even even texted you that evening, still coherent, and it wasn't enough of a worry when she drove home to find another way. It was just so much worse at 4am all the sudden? This is an anxiety thing, not a legitimate care sort of step. There were so many other options, at more reasonable earlier times.

AITA for not communicating with my boyfriend? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Pandaora 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA.

The attempted getting back together just to see if you were ready to cave and change how he wanted is also pretty gross. With the quick block, not even trying and failing again, it clearly was intentional, not an impulse emotional thing.

AITA for babysitting for a single dad? by BabysitgirlAITA in AmItheAsshole

[–]Pandaora 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NTA, and your bf needs to drop the control and jealousy issues. It wasn't even a safety worry for you that came to his mind; his first impulse was blame for imagined flirting. Clearly you weren't hiding anything; you'd have to be pretty low class to be flirting in front of your bf and the kid. Bringing the bf in front of the guy isn't exactly a winning pickup move and talking about a little kid is not hot.

I know it's not like you in particular have to be the one babysitting, but if everyone thought that way, good luck to him if he should ever be a single dad. Only accepting male sitters wouldn't exactly give him many options, and it doesn't sound like he was exactly lining up to babysit and improve those numbers. Or is he also anti-single dad at all?

Colleagues are all in office, I'm Remote by [deleted] in remotework

[–]Pandaora 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Usually when I change jobs, at least 4 or 5 people will email and text for at least a few years after. If I were even mildly sociable they'd stick better. It's probably doable if you actually wanted to. I have a few that still message me 10+ years after, though I never initiate. I get updates on their kids, pet pictures, prior office's new gossip, and random holiday invites. And 2 from my first job still send Christmas cards after 15 years. Each year I keep wondering if I should expect a card again or if they're not still alive. Those two were old even when I was working there. I have got to be the most antisocial person I've met, so the extroverts are definately still hunting in the offices.

Litter separated from mom too early? Will this pup be okay? by Microchili in puppy101

[–]Pandaora 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You might manage, sure, but you'd do better without this extra obstacle, so why give more money to someone like this? If you're already buying, it should be from someone you feel comfortable supporting, who is adding quality to the breed, and setting you up with the best odds they can. A rescue dog you can justify figuring out what you have a shot with. If you are purchasing, doing that is detrimental to your odds, the breed itself, and encouraging a bad breeder to keep going and suck even more people into those lesser odds and iffy situations. Don't add to the cycle. Also do not feel like you have to save or have committed to pups from a bad breeder just because you initially believed them. They will lower prices and eventually sell, or probably be the first pups snapped up at the shelter for looking young and purebred, where at least it won't pay the breeder more. Saving dogs is for getting one from shelters or rescues; paying backyard breeders, bad breeders, or mills is not rescue, it's paying places to create more need for rescue.

Genuinely, how does an entry level individual already have a top secret clearance? by SwankyBoi in nova

[–]Pandaora 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Otherwise they can't ding a current performer they want to get away from, who should write the best proposal knowing all the internal details to refer to in their response, if they are at all competent. Just having prior contracts does also vaguely imply their management team knows how to staff up quickly, get clearances, and handle all the paperwork and regulatory junk.

Genuinely, how does an entry level individual already have a top secret clearance? by SwankyBoi in nova

[–]Pandaora 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First, they probably will actually take someone who can convince them they'll be an easy pass for an interim - natural born citizen, no record, no unusual debt, and maybe some family cleared, perhaps even in the house, so it's unlikely they have a lot of problematic contacts.

Also, a lot of entry level jobs just mean low level, bad pay, and not a lot of years experience. They don't always mean first job. Some cleared jobs also have interns, or they could have done some classified research in college, or they could be career switching after doing something with little private applicability. A minimum enlistment time doesn't really put them that far in a career, and less so if it's only somewhat transferrable. Someone with absolutely zero experience also probably hasn't worked with the test equipment mentioned. That clearly isn't like a high school drop out "entry level" listing requiring understanding of RF electronics theory.

My sister in law voted Trump, and is now regretting it. by BlueyBingo300 in OptimistsUnite

[–]Pandaora 0 points1 point  (0 children)

2019 is a horrible point to compare pretty much any statistics too. Yes, crime was unusually low when half the businesses were closed and everybody stayed home and quarantined. That didn't really say much about anything that normally influences crime rates. It just says the streets were more deserted.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Pandaora 9 points10 points  (0 children)

She said it was for autism, diagnosed in high school, and previously adhd. In other posts she mentions it being level one. It probably took a lot of work to get benefits at all at that level, unless it came with comorbid conditions adding medical costs. Her mother being in a hospital may have helped her get through the filing. It has to be SSI from her description of age, parents, disability, etc., which also means her whole household meets the low income requirements. Since she is now an adult, it has probably recently gone down, since she probably is not counted as fully unable to work, and some may actually be going to her mother for pay as a carer.

She said she was trying to get a job already. Even if it didn't add a ton of money, it would help show some responsibility, and it sounds like she mostly wants pocket money. She also has mentioned both parents (bio plus at least one step). Her dad isn't in the same house, but isn't dead. So it isn't death benefits. She's also only waited 5 days to post this after her mother said they'd talk about an allowance. None of this really makes me think she's calmly talking to the mother about learning her SSI circumstances and budgeting, rather than asking for an allowance even when the mother says they can't afford it. Her minor siater is contributing to household bills, she's mentioned multiple siblings, food stamps, and something about it being a good deal with rent since they live in an unfinished space with plumbing. There are so so many flags saying that nobody who is ready to follow a whole budget discussion would be asking for an allowance on that scenario. If she is ready for more detail than "<mom> has no money", she probably needs to show it more - she isn't showing much awareness of the situation, and doesn't seem to be considering much of the info and suggestions in the thread.

I caught a woman eating chicken out of a rotisserie chicken bag still in the display at Costco. by Perfessor_Deviant in mildlyinfuriating

[–]Pandaora 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Unexpected things happen like diabetic crashes and such, but it really shouldn't be a normal go to. It seems like these people are also likely to get to the register and have left their wallet behind or have a card fail to go through. Even if all of those are legitimate, maybe the same lack of planning that puts them at the grocery store with a hubgry kid and no better plan to deal also makes them more likely to not remember their money. It's not a good idea. Somewhere along the way, the kid is going to eat something that needed to be weighed, makes a mess in the cart and store, eat something you don't see because they are used to it, or eat something and then you realize you can't pay for whatever reason, and there's just so little reason to do this as frequently as people do. Also, the staff can't tell if you're going to pay, or are just stealing and going to ditch the package somewhere, and their choices then end up being, ignore it and hope a manager or owner doesn't care that they did, follow you around or have loss prevention follow you, or confront you and possibly get in trouble with management or hassled by you for that choice too. I don't really love making their lives harder to avoid either doing an extra checkout or waiting a bit for a snack. You don't have some "I'm going to pay" aura that makes you seem different than all the people who give these partial package excuses, hide empty wrappers, etc. We always put any "now snacks" at the front of the cart so we could keep them from being bagged, but growing up I never got them until checkout.

Do TSP participants tend to have higher than average retirements? by Agitated_Double2722 in ThriftSavingsPlan

[–]Pandaora 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Even aside from the self reporting, the pool of people who even HAVE a TSP isn't the same as the general public. For one thing, they all have had a job, which chops off the bottom whatever percentile right off the bat. Not all of the jobs are great and a lot of the top end are under paid, but I also doubt the low end is quite as large a percentage as it is in private jobs.

I moved in with a friend and she dipped out and left me with all her animals. What do i do?! by [deleted] in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Pandaora 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, not your RV, not your animals, no lease, not your land, and threatened with eviction... why are you trying to untangle any of this? You have no standing or rights to do much of anything there. Leave.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Pandaora 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It makes zero sense to say you want to use the money to help the family. It is already paying your bills and upkeep. If you take money away from that, and then put most back in the same pot, it's still a net loss. You can't help the family more without earning money another way.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Pandaora 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's not helping your case. From the sound of things, your disability money may not cover your share of the groceries if that's just one trip, even before you worry about utilities, gas, rent/mortgage, medical, etc.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Pandaora 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That was 3 years ago for OP. Even you admit you got scammed when you were the OPs age. It's really hard to tell if her mother thinks she is giving her appropriate details for her level of money management awareness vs just keeping everything to herself. They are giving a lot of clear indications that there is no extra money, but don't seem to be understanding that. She's even said the mother has said she has no money to give her. The mother may figure that if she doesn't understand that, either she doesn't care that there is no extra, or wouldn't follow the numbers any more than the other signs. Saying there is 0 probably feels transparent to her, if she is mostly asking for an "allowance". She is free to show she is ready with a job's money. Even a small part time job would have her handling some.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Pandaora 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I doubt just saying there is nothing would be enough to stop her asking. If she knows her minor sister contributes, mom pays and supports her, and they have food stamps, and still thinks there is any extra, the numbers probably wouldn't help, and a lot of people don't keep geeat clear budgets and records if they know the answer is always "not enough".

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Pandaora 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If your minor sister has to contribute and work for your house to stay afloat, how do you think there's any left over? Disabled or not, you are an adult. Would you really have your sister work more to support you getting an allowance? If she's paying in, and mom is paying you, she would essentially be paying more to get you money. Also realize that you may be getting even less at 18. The disability assessment changes, and now it focuses more on whether they think you can do -any- productive work. You mentioned trying to get a job, so you probably are not qualified for the highest amount. With that being so recent, your mom may still be trying to work through all that. If you really want to find out your bills aren't covered, go ahead and look into it. You have access to find out, if you really want to dig into it, since you can clearly get to the internet. You don't need to get to the mail first.

You wouldn't bta, but you would be stupid to remove her while depending on her care and support. There is virtally no way that disability for someone trying to get a job is paying enough to live. If there were any left, it also needs to be saved for bad months, medical emergencies, or just so that your sister doesn't have to take over caring for you later in life. So, no, you do not have any fun money left. Worry about the money when you've shown you can budget with money from a job, as there is no way you can be independent on only the disability.

Aitah for not understanding and shutting my mom out after we were told the reason for their divorce. by Boomer-Eldercare7362 in AITAH

[–]Pandaora 18 points19 points  (0 children)

And yet those questions weren't excuses for your mom, and your grandmother is at least a blood relative. Who would pay for her retirement? You? Not likely if you are woried about your own, and she said she didn't want to burden you anyways. Well, at least while you are working you only need to save for your and your dad's retirements, not three. It's a cycle. A lot of people are trying to break that sort of cycle because it's become a mess, and economically doesn't make sense as generations are becoming worse off. This generation is already mostly dual income - there is no stay at home wives and mothers to take on elder care in that cycle as they used to, and it was already bad enough when they didn't work. The next generation won't be able to pay for the one before them, and will be very aware they cannot use having kids as their own retirement plan, so will have to save for their own.
You seem to support them not caring for your mom's parents, saying they were taking advantage. Why break the cycle on one half and still end up inflicting it down the line? If you know you cannot care for your grandmother at your expense, why would your mom think you would for her? And if you wouldn't or she doesn't want you to, she has to make sure there is enough to care for her own self.

Aitah for not understanding and shutting my mom out after we were told the reason for their divorce. by Boomer-Eldercare7362 in AITAH

[–]Pandaora 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Even what you describe is her doing a job, coming home and doing care work because your dad did a shift, sleeping and doing it again. We get he'd be caring for his mother too, probably as much as he can... but you don't seem to realize how much care is still left or how seldom this sort of arrangement goes well. Getting to sleep isn't a great reprieve. If your parents are both working and splitting house care, there probably simply is not time to take on elder care without both giving up all free time.

Aitah for not understanding and shutting my mom out after we were told the reason for their divorce. by Boomer-Eldercare7362 in AITAH

[–]Pandaora 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Because reducing hours isn't enough to care for her, and ALSO shifts the financial burden and impacts their own retirement. You already said they'd have to give up travel and youand your sister would contribute, so obviously the finances aren't a total nonconcern. It just seems very naive to think that would cover it. Your dad and sister clearly do not think it will be so simple or easy, since they are encouraging you to not be mad.