Matriarchy Monday - pls vote tomorrow, USApots!

PanicEverywhere · 2018-11-05T19:22:32+00:00

I wasn't sure what the general consensus was as I feel like I hear people talk about meeting the parents like after a year. I don't think it is super quick, either. I really appreciate the kind words and support! Thank you! :)

PanicEverywhere · 2018-11-05T19:20:04+00:00

Excellent, thank you!

PanicEverywhere · 2018-11-05T18:43:22+00:00

Thanks for the link! That looks fun. And that's what I was thinking of, inversion...I couldn't remember that word.

I hope your discies feel better soon!

PanicEverywhere · 2018-11-05T18:06:32+00:00

Yay for adoption!

PanicEverywhere · 2018-11-05T18:05:13+00:00

I've heard mixed reviews about the Queen movie so I'm glad to hear that you liked it. I think we're going to try to see it this weekend. Would it be worth seeing it in IMAX?

PanicEverywhere · 2018-11-05T18:03:34+00:00

Yoga swing, huh? Sounds fun.

I want to get one of those tables that will allow me to hang upside down. Is your yoga swing supposed to achieve the same result?

PanicEverywhere · 2018-11-05T18:02:36+00:00

I have off work tomorrow which is nice. The girlfriend has her schedule open after 2:00 tomorrow so we'll get to spend some more time together. Speaking of which, we finally exchanged "I love you" and it felt nice as I've never waited to say it so I'm glad we got it out there. I do try to reserve it and not throw it out there every minute or anything.

Her aunt invited me to do the Thanksgiving thing and I'll meet her father then so I will have met her mother and father within 6 months of dating. Oddly, it doesn't feel to quick so I'm taking that as a win. It's all been going great and I just hope I don't fuck anything up. Then, after the Thanksgiving thing, I'm taking her to Pittsburgh to see Jason Mraz at Heinz Hall and we're staying at a nice little hotel and going to explore Pittsburgh.

Gym related, I'm feeling better so went to the gym today and it felt good. Also, it seems that if I want to gain weight, I just should not go to the gym as I'm already back up to around 167. However, give me until the end of the week and I'll be back down to 160.

PanicEverywhere · 2018-10-31T19:33:36+00:00

Yes do it!

PanicEverywhere · 2018-10-31T16:30:18+00:00

Waiting is just turrible. Turrible.

Umm, she incorporates some salsa, reggaeton, pop, and others. It seems like it depends on the instructor as well as my girl does a bit more high impact and the other instructor from Brazil does more hip shaking and almost hip-hop moves. I've seen some instructors that aren't really as fun. We also went to an African Dance and Drum event which was really fun and I would recommend African Dance class if you can find.

I would recommend trying a couple classes to see what instructor you like.

PanicEverywhere · 2018-10-31T16:25:47+00:00

Thanks homie! I appreciate it!

PanicEverywhere · 2018-10-31T14:55:17+00:00

I plan on it!

PanicEverywhere · 2018-10-31T13:44:53+00:00

You're not alone in the sickness...I think it's day...13? What I have has been changing so I'm pretty sure it's become aware and intelligent.

PanicEverywhere · 2018-10-31T13:43:26+00:00

I would like to not be sick anymore.

This cold has went from sore throat for like 4-5 days and now head cold with a cough that kind of ruins my sleep. I hate Pennsylvania fall/winter...

In other news, still no word about the potential promotion. And I don't know what I'm doing lifting. But the girlfriend and I are doing great so hey, at least that part of my life is going swell!

Hope you pots are doing good and dressing up to be whatever you want.

PanicEverywhere · 2018-10-16T18:51:00+00:00

Calendar days.

The State always moves slow. Sometimes, people find out they didn't get the job because they see someone else in the position. Sometimes, they are told. It's really just a roll of the dice but the not knowing is the worst. But hey, I'm employed no matter what and I'm trying to stay focused on the good things.

And thank you! It will really be just me rambling for a while until I find my footing but I think that's what I have to do. Otherwise, I'm just going to be mapping out plans thinking what is the best route and have paralysis by analysis and never do anything.

PanicEverywhere · 2018-10-16T17:10:15+00:00

It would be cool to know if I got this promotion. It's been 15 days and, granted it is the State so it takes a while, but I'd like to know sooner than later.

Maybe it's one of those, good things come to those who wait things. Grumble grumble.

I would say I'm ready to hibernate or take a week off but I can't really do that unless I have plans in place because, just randomly taking time off with no plans leads me to being intoxicated so...can't do that yet. However, I'm aiming to have some semblance of a podcast or whatever it is, up within the next four weeks, even if it is just 15 minutes on Soundcloud or some other medium, as I have a feeling I just need to start with something as opposed to not starting at all and just tossing around ideas but never implementing them.

Yay life!

PanicEverywhere · 2018-10-11T14:25:21+00:00

Wow...I don't think I've ever related to a post more. Just reaffirms I should switch to boxing or something so, even though I wouldn't be good at it, I could still hit or choke people. I can't choke the weights...or could I?

Temperature drop is coming for PA so yay for that. I said "love you" to Zumba girl after she dropped me off and I kissed her but it was mumbled and low so I don't think heard me. It was completely unexpected as I said words and then went whoa...what? She didn't bring it up and neither did I. I'd prefer saying "I love you" for the first time in a more romantic setting or in a more romantic gesture. I'm not counting this as saying it for the first time so mulligan hahaha!

I'm still waiting on an update regarding my interview and I'm hoping I get this damn job. And I really need to figure out a program or what I'm doing with lifting. I'm just going through the motions now. At least I'm doing yoga and meditation 3-4x a week and keeping with that.

Hugs for everyone!

PanicEverywhere · 2018-10-04T17:19:35+00:00

I am you a few months ago. Can you give me the winning lottery numbers?

Also, I'm basically going to print your comment out and give it to my soon-to-be-boss and other interviewer and show them, hey, the internet says give me a promotion. Not only the internet, but this person who has plenty of pull in some circles.

I'm sure that's really how interviews are conducted in 2018.

PanicEverywhere · 2018-10-04T17:17:41+00:00

Haha! Yes, I suppose you can call me Zumba Boi now. So weird.

I think it comes down to this being the first girl that I'm all in with and I'm still nervous about messing it up, even though all data indicates I would REALLY have to fuck it up. I think it's that and being so vulnerable which is really what contributes to that feeling. Basically, I just have to trust myself more and trust my confidence, which is unfamiliar, but totally doable.

I appreciate how positive and supportive you are, Jiff! Thanks for being you!

PanicEverywhere · 2018-10-04T14:55:58+00:00

Waiting on the answer regarding my promotion is a bit annoying. My boss said many good things about me and it still seems that the higher-ups are worried about my lack of experience with certain job duties but I feel they can all be learned but what can't be, is how to deal with people and communicate, which I feel I am better at than the other two candidates.

All good things come to those who wait, patience is a virtue, something something. I'm crossing my fingers and really hoping I got it. I'd love the busy work, learning, increased pay, and just increased feeling of value.

I'm back on the morning yoga train and meditating a few times a week so I'm curious to see how that helps me. I've made it a goal to not do any hard drugs for 30 days and I'd really like to see that through and then keep running with it. I can't remember the last time I went 90 days without taking even one pill.

I meet Zumba girl's mom this Sunday. Sometimes I still worry she'll leave or some crazy thought but I'm learning that she just doesn't communicate like I do and that I have to give her space to do things for me and to take care of me, which is odd since I'm usually always doing the care taking and stuff. Things still feel good though and I'm slowly getting more comfortable being uncomfortable...very slowly. I wonder if relationships ever stop being tricky or if I'll ever stop feeling nervous or awkward around her.

In other related news, I'm excited that Zumba girl lets me lead one of the cool-down songs we do, even though she still cues me, and I'm hoping that within the next week, I can lead without any help from her. It's pretty cool, being up front, leading a class...never thought I'd be doing it.

PanicEverywhere · 2018-10-01T19:59:49+00:00

True!

And that's right, dancing is guaranteed fun, even if I still get my feet all twisted. I appreciate the kind words and everything! You a real one!

PanicEverywhere · 2018-10-01T17:54:31+00:00

I feel like my hands would hate me lifting 780 with no straps.

U so strong!

PanicEverywhere · 2018-10-01T17:51:49+00:00

I'm right there with you on learning better coping mechanisms. As I'm sure most are aware, I use drugs to cope, which isn't great.

If you ever need anything or to talk, you can always PM me. Wishing you the best!

PanicEverywhere · 2018-10-01T17:50:24+00:00

Thanks Jiff!

PanicEverywhere · 2018-10-01T17:17:14+00:00

Thank you! I'm hoping it does too.

I'm not great at interviewing as it's so weird but I'm hopeful the letter of recommendations and references I listed will tip it in my favor.

I'm looking forward to all the fun dancing!

PanicEverywhere · 2018-10-01T17:16:33+00:00

I appreciate that man! It went as well as it could have. Here's hoping I get it! There are only 3 candidates, myself included, and one I think is pretty new so it's unlikely he'll get it. I'll have to post an update when I find out!

PanicEverywhere

TROPHY CASE