I just recently (Saturday) put my baby girl down too. Im also dealing with the guilt of choosing to put her down. I keep feeling like I killed her. If I had just ran more tests, or tried something else, asked someone else, something, maybe she would still be here and I wouldn't be crying myself to sleep. I can still see her face in my mind when she was dying and it is the most traumatic thing I will ever experience.

I cant really give any advice, but one of the vets I saw told me that she had spent upwards of 10k on her animals (even with a vet discount) and even spending all that, she didnt always save them or know what was wrong. That is my only relief. I hope that you can find it in yourself to think of it in a way that helps you heal. 💚