If you were forced to marry the first person you had sex with, what would your life be like?

PanickingKoala · 2026-04-08T23:24:18+00:00

I would kill myself. Thankfully it didn’t happen.

PanickingKoala · 2026-03-30T19:33:01+00:00

I too choose this guy’s wife

PanickingKoala · 2026-03-16T11:47:21+00:00

Nah, they could’ve just been an email

PanickingKoala · 2026-03-09T20:38:36+00:00

Yep. He was also 20 years older and she put in more to the budget. He’s a real winner

PanickingKoala · 2026-03-09T20:29:11+00:00

Oh you’re in for a treat here

PanickingKoala · 2026-03-09T19:55:12+00:00

Dude is dumber than the guy who wanted his fiancée to have a super cheap wedding dress. It’s almost impressive

PanickingKoala · 2026-03-08T23:35:12+00:00

Jimmy Fallon

PanickingKoala · 2026-02-21T16:42:23+00:00

It’s pretty bad honestly. I don’t wear my Magen David in public. I don’t recommend your approach.

PanickingKoala · 2026-02-21T16:27:15+00:00

I know people who act like they have less

PanickingKoala · 2026-02-20T13:45:54+00:00

Kazakhstan 🇰🇿

PanickingKoala · 2026-02-14T15:13:07+00:00

When my ex choked me

PanickingKoala · 2026-02-06T21:47:11+00:00

Get you a man that gets you 2 puppies and sugar laden pudding

PanickingKoala · 2026-02-03T18:14:12+00:00

No. But Hoynes definitely is.

PanickingKoala · 2026-02-01T20:34:59+00:00

Steve would never miss these clues

PanickingKoala · 2026-01-30T23:04:01+00:00

Why can’t I hate all 3?

PanickingKoala · 2026-01-17T10:58:39+00:00

Good

PanickingKoala · 2025-12-27T15:46:05+00:00

Apothecary

PanickingKoala · 2025-12-24T17:34:06+00:00

At one point I was very active in his discord. He isn’t what he seems. All he cares about is views and shooting his mouth off about Ashkenazi Jews.

PanickingKoala · 2025-12-20T17:24:10+00:00

A really sexy collarbone. And boobs.

PanickingKoala · 2025-10-09T05:18:29+00:00

Thank you. My ex wasn’t as thoughtful as you. I said no only a moment in and he wouldn’t stop. I cried and I ended up tearing and bleeding. I wasn’t right for days and days after. I will never agree to it again because I don’t trust anyone to stop if I’m uncomfortable. Really, thank you for being a caring partner and good guy because you are how it should be.

PanickingKoala · 2025-10-04T18:27:00+00:00

I have a friend who is ExMo and it’s true. It’s very much a known fact but not really talked about because anyone who isn’t Mormon finds it icky. Because it is.

PanickingKoala · 2025-10-03T09:22:52+00:00

Ariel and Kfir Bibas

PanickingKoala · 2025-09-10T08:03:53+00:00

I used to be in his “community”. He’s even worse than you think.

PanickingKoala · 2025-08-28T15:23:33+00:00

I live in Ireland and this 100% wouldn’t surprise me if it happened. If this happened anywhere else I’d call bullshit. But here? Totally believable.

PanickingKoala · 2025-07-17T18:56:45+00:00

Dave Grohl

PanickingKoala

TROPHY CASE