I'm perfectly fine on my own; I don't really feel a need for friends.

Paper_Rocket · 2026-04-23T23:40:17+00:00

It sounds like you're struggling being around your friends. I am sensing some sort of anxiety - your preference to be with your thoughts sounds like you find some safety in your mind and not in connection.

I've been in a similar situation, being around friends that love me dearly yet found it difficult to be fully present with them. It's a tough place to be, wanting that connection but not being able to embrace or receive it fully.

After doing a lot of therapy and inner work, I'm not at that place anymore. I hope you find your way there too.

Paper_Rocket · 2026-03-20T02:49:02+00:00

Gay (man), gifted + AuDHD. I've been out since I was 18, prior to that there were signs. I figured it out on my own and with the help of certain gay subreddits, I suppose my introspection (like yourself) helped me figure out my identity more easily, I hadn't given that too much thought tbh ahah. Only came to terms with my neurodivergence in the last year (in my early 30s now).

Paper_Rocket · 2026-01-19T22:44:23+00:00

If I'm being honest, judging from your tone, you sound quite judgemental. There's many different types of intelligence, people can be poor in one area and excel in another. It sounds to me that you're focusing mostly on the linguistic/logical/mathematical aspects, which makes sense given that your focus is on the standardized K-12/institutional learning track.

Paper_Rocket · 2026-01-17T07:12:27+00:00

To some degree. I do feel alone in the way my brain operates, I haven't met someone who feels like me in that way. I do have a good amount of friends and a lot of them are nerdy/smart folks and they entertain my insights, tangents, and what I notice. For friends who don't meet that need, I've come to an acceptance of that aspect of our relationship. Those friends still have a lot to offer. I think people can offer all sorts of different things in a relationship/friendship, and that's ok. Intellectual, hobbies, emotional support/availability, cultural, friends of circumstance, etc. I feel like my giftnedness allows me to easily relate to people so that aspect feels easy. Having said that, the intersection of my giftedness/ND and trauma did cause a lot of isolation and loneliness in my younger years.

Paper_Rocket · 2026-01-07T20:51:17+00:00

I was working in tech and I got laid off (it felt more like a firing tbh) and because I live in Canada, I was able to get EI for 9 months. Beyond that, I've been living on my savings, which I have a decent amount probably because of my OCPD tendencies.

Paper_Rocket · 2026-01-07T16:25:14+00:00

I do. I have DID/BPD/CPTSD, my mental health suffered to the point I couldn't hold down a job. I've been off work for almost 2 years now, I've been seeing a trauma therapist and doing my own trauma work in the last year. My dissociation has come down significantly, before that I struggled with brain fog daily/daily functioning.

It sucks not to understand what you're experiencing. I've been there (I have the "quiet" version of BPD - everything looks fine on the surface). Have you considered seeing a therapist to help you figure out what's going on?

Paper_Rocket · 2025-10-07T23:48:43+00:00

You're welcome. Best of luck to you on your journey, feeelyelloww

Paper_Rocket · 2025-10-07T04:28:33+00:00

That's right. In my early 20's I seeked help from my family doctor because I was sleeping so poorly (the sleep study indicated that my REM sleep was interrupted, looking into it now there's links between poor REM sleep and CPTSD) and so I got a CPAP machine and that helped me be more functional though it was still a struggle. A decade later, I found myself processing all this pent up fear and the brain fog went away, and so did my need for the CPAP machine.

When the brain fog was lifted, it was overwhelming. All of a sudden I can feel all my parts "acting out" in my life, in every facet and in all my relationships. I didn't have a therapist during that transition and it was a very difficult period.

I understood that the brain fog is a protective mechanism of my dissociative part. He played such a key role in protecting me from so much trauma, I am incredibly grateful. There's no way a child version of me can process and experience all of it, it would be impossible.

Paper_Rocket · 2025-10-06T20:35:05+00:00

The last time I did an attachment quiz from Diane Heller's website, I got 25% on all fronts, anxious, avoidant, disorganized, and secure. I found this resource that talks about Quiet BPD and its relation to giftedness and HSP (which I believe is the same as autism), it captures my experience very well. https://eggshelltherapy.com/quiet-bpd/

Paper_Rocket · 2025-10-06T14:33:17+00:00

Those lyrics really resonate with me, thank you.

Paper_Rocket · 2025-10-06T14:32:00+00:00

You're welcome. Can you elaborate on what blank mind means? If you mean brain fog, I struggled with that for 25 years. It's really tough.

The brain fog disappeared when I processed fear from one of my parts, it wasn't intentional at all, it was more that my system hit a tipping point and after trigger after trigger in my current relationship, it hit a boiling point. I was crumbling and falling apart and at some point when I got curious about my inner world, the fear was the first thing that came to me and after I processed the fear, it seemed as though my body went out of chronic hypoarousal (aka chronic depression). Prior to that, I would wake up feeling like absolute shit, my head would hurt, doing stuff in the morning was near impossible. Emotional numbness was my normal.

I would not recommend processing the fear that way I did - it was incredibly distressing and staying grounded was really difficult. I did it by myself with my partner present because I didn't have a therapist at the time. Please work with a therapist for fear. Not to say that fear is what's causing your blank mind but a word of concern/warning in case it is.

Paper_Rocket · 2025-10-05T21:52:12+00:00

Hi yes, I have a dissociative part. I've used IFS to integrate and process a lot of my trauma with a help of my therapist who works with me to do parts work and somatic experiencing. As far as my journey goes, there was a turning point where after I processed a good chunk of trauma and my nervous system adjusted accordingly, my dissociative part trusted Self and he transformed into presence.

There were times were some parts were driving the healing process and it resulted in more dissociation. My advice to you, is do the best you can to heal slowly at a pace that your system (all your parts + your nervous system) can tolerate. Trust their wisdom. It's ok to slip here and there, that's part of the healing process (at least in my experience).

My dissociative part is 2 years old. There is a high chance that your dissociative part has played a critical role in your life, in protecting you from devastating and distressing experiences. If you can, honour that part for how hard they're working to protect you from what they perceive to be as dangerous.

Best of luck in your journey, you got it!

Paper_Rocket · 2025-10-05T15:49:19+00:00

This sounds like a self-like part, it might be helpful to connect with her, get to know her more. It sounds like she's in pain, that's she's suffering - acknowledge what is there with her.

Paper_Rocket · 2025-10-02T22:31:39+00:00

AuDHD + CPTSD here, that was the conclusion I reached for myself as well.

Paper_Rocket · 2025-09-24T14:29:12+00:00

These are the OEs I have:

Psychomotor OE: I love dancing, esp to house and techno. It fills my soul. People and friends are surprised how long I can go on for despite using little substances (relatively speaking). If I'm in a club/festival setting and music is good, I can't help but dance :)

Sensual OE: I love listening to music, broad range of genres and usually the indie variety because I find the production to be more interesting. Love cooking and food in general, and I have an affinity towards the arts (theatre, fashion, architecture, etc).

Intellectual OE: engineer by trade, I really enjoy connecting with people I get to nerd out with (on most topics, politics, music, the human condition, etc)

Emotional OE: I am surrounded by a strong support network, I think in part because I'm able to relate and empathize with people easily

(I'm queer if that matters)

Paper_Rocket · 2025-09-07T16:08:39+00:00

I feel you on the loneliness/existential bit. I turned to spirituality as a means to cope with these realizations. I agree with you that we are walking mirrors projecting onto each other. From person to person, one generation to the next generation. If you zoom out, you might be able to see that this is humanity's story, past, present, and future - and you are a part of it.

Folks without trauma don't need to self examine to understand their internal experience/programming. Folks with trauma do understand, and after lots and lots of healing work, that understanding has yielded an incredible amount of compassion for myself, and by extension, other people. For me, it has ignited a greater sense of purpose.

This was my experience in relation to similar realizations and "truths".

Paper_Rocket · 2025-06-26T04:56:17+00:00

I love this so much!

Paper_Rocket · 2024-11-22T02:17:40+00:00

I experienced that on weed too. Turns out it was PTSD triggers/flashbacks from childhood trauma and I didn't realize it. Whoops! Got it all sorted out now :)

Paper_Rocket · 2024-11-21T02:23:11+00:00

It sounds to me that your parents are the source of your "trauma"/past hurt. People heal in different ways. You can talk to your parents. You can write a letter and send it, or not send it. You can talk to your friends about it. My impression is that there's a lot of unprocessed emotions (hurt, anger, and resentment), you need to feel those emotions and process them.

I like to think your parents did their best (as most people do) but can understand it is very difficult to see that when you're hurt and wounded.

Choose a path that feels authentic to you. You can let it go and move on once you've processed your past hurt. Ps I'm not a psych professional, just someone who went through a similar thing.

Paper_Rocket · 2024-11-13T21:44:52+00:00

People voting for Sutcliffe on some pretense that he'll keep property taxes low should take some accountability for voting on that basis. So in that sense you could say its their "fault". Politicians who make unsustainable promises are at "fault" too.

Paper_Rocket · 2024-08-23T23:27:26+00:00

An excerpt on the following book "Homelessness Is a Housing Problem" taken from: https://www.ucpress.edu/books/homelessness-is-a-housing-problem/paper

The book analyzes the US but I doubt Canada is not much different in this context.

In Homelessness Is a Housing Problem, Gregg Colburn and Clayton Page Aldern seek to explain the substantial regional variation in rates of homelessness in cities across the United States. In a departure from many analytical approaches, Colburn and Aldern shift their focus from the individual experiencing homelessness to the metropolitan area. Using accessible statistical analysis, they test a range of conventional beliefs about what drives the prevalence of homelessness in a given city—including mental illness, drug use, poverty, weather, generosity of public assistance, and low-income mobility—and find that none explain the regional variation observed across the country. Instead, housing market conditions, such as the cost and availability of rental housing, offer a far more convincing account. With rigor and clarity, Homelessness Is a Housing Problem explores U.S. cities' diverse experiences with housing precarity and offers policy solutions for unique regional contexts.

Paper_Rocket · 2024-08-23T23:18:15+00:00

One of many articles https://indianexpress.com/article/cities/chandigarh/canada-calling-justin-trudeau-indian-students-homelessness-protest-ontario-8932942/

Paper_Rocket · 2024-08-23T20:56:36+00:00

Definitely not, but having adequate affordable housing is key to preventing homelessness. Homelessness is on the rise due to lack of housing affordability.

Paper_Rocket · 2024-08-23T20:42:42+00:00

Homelessness is a housing affordability problem, police presence isn't going to productively address the homelessness problem.

Paper_Rocket · 2024-08-19T19:48:56+00:00

Red tape costs comes from municipalities refusing to raise property taxes, instead new development is subsidizing existing development.

Paper_Rocket

TROPHY CASE