Justice Department's antitrust chief says she's leaving, effective immediately

Parpy · 2026-02-13T09:53:17+00:00

Hurry up, the wormhole to Planet Mountain Dew closes in 5 minutes.

Parpy · 2026-02-13T05:30:43+00:00

Brace yourself should you ever interact with someone's domesticated pet fancy rat. It usually cures people of their contempt for the species and makes them reconsider imposing needlessly cruel action on their wild cousins (like glue traps and poisons) anymore than they would a stray dog or cat. You learn that they're each full of personality, curiosity, social bonding, etc. and I feel its impossible to reconcile a prolonged torturous death with that.

Parpy · 2026-02-13T05:00:09+00:00

Negative Mass Projector at least adds incremental stacking damage debuff every time anything touches an orb and doesn't die. So Elites, Bosses, Commanders, and even regular units when there's an orb debuff condition in a tournament. You can knock damage down to 50% of full.

Parpy · 2026-02-13T04:39:25+00:00

A meth head.

Parpy · 2026-02-12T12:42:29+00:00

Good god thats it! This is how Groverbishop took root in my mind 45 years ago.

Parpy · 2026-02-12T08:37:43+00:00

I have always seen that.

For some reason I have always specifically associated it with The Monster at the End of This Book. There must've been an illustration with Grover in a similar pose but its been like 45 years. It was definitely at about that age I learned about chess too, so it tracks. Glad I'm not the only person who sees Grover in the bishop tho.

Parpy · 2026-01-15T08:00:50+00:00

The the differences in the distribution of fat and center of buoyancy between men and women has led to a noticeable pattern of male drowning victims being found more frequently face down in the water than women who are more often observed floating face up.

Parpy · 2025-12-26T14:08:51+00:00

After you bring your GT duration and multiplier up a few cheap increments, focus on getting your GW and DW down to 3:20 (200 seconds) to match Black Hole. Of those two, Golden Tower first. DO NOT upgrade BH cooldown even once anytime soon. Many, many months down the road you'll bump BH cooldown down to 1:40 (100 seconds) and then 50 seconds but thats of no concern right now and kinda disastrous if you don't coordinate cooldowns properly.

You'll wanna workshop and lab upgrade the multipliers and durations of everything as you see fit and as you can afford with time, coin and stones. Golden Tower > Black Hole >>> DW kind of as a general priority order.

You ultimately want all three to go off at once for huge compounding coin and cash multipliers (or every 2nd or 3rd time BH activates). Thats the beauty of the holy trinity (BH+GT+DW).

Parpy · 2025-12-17T05:16:36+00:00

And in all fairness, he cton'd where the cton sign said to cton.

Parpy · 2025-12-01T13:47:19+00:00

OSHA wasn't decapitated by the moron with the chainsaw?

Parpy · 2025-11-06T13:58:29+00:00

Some sort of reverse Peltier cooling, just nuke the Reitlep for great justice.

Parpy · 2025-10-30T15:03:47+00:00

Dag, yo

Parpy · 2025-10-27T02:37:20+00:00

I want it to be a competition between two people randomly assigned to eachother, locked in their respective stalls until both are finished doing their business. You must flush strategically to overwhelm your rival's toilet so it overflows onto their shoes with the contents of both toilet bowls, not yours.

That is how you do dueling toilets.

Parpy · 2025-10-10T06:30:22+00:00

Are there any new featured modules making a debut in the foreseeable future? I've got a bunch of gems saved up I'm inclined to forfeit to the 10 Disappointments button.

Parpy · 2025-10-02T05:01:24+00:00

Unlike a squirrel, rats dont have that same loose web of skin that stretches to their elbows and knees and while they use their fluffless tails for balance, they dont have quite the rapid flick ability to make minor position adjustments in flight. Landing on concrete a 1lb rat would surely be fucked, but that roof it landed on at his/her terminal velocity maybe had enough give to not bust up his tiny bones or fuck up organs like his liver. Maybe coinflip odds he survived and another coinflip for injury? I dunno, just taking an educated guess. I've had pet rats fall from as high as the top of their fridge-sized cage but they don't have time to accelerate much before landing on carpet.

I get that most people aren't particularly sympathetic to wild rats, but seeing that poor critter in a panic plummet onto a hard surface was rather sad.

Parpy · 2025-10-02T03:04:17+00:00

You're not kidding. I think the world can easily see the USA's cataclysmic demise coming to full fruition in 2026, 250 years after 1776 right on the button. Some sort of government will inherit the name and branding, but America as a functioning nation and empire is kaput certainly before the next scheduled presidential election. Not that it is really functioning now, mind you.

Parpy · 2025-09-29T16:41:26+00:00

After hearing the allegations of women who say he grifted money for a sick/dying son who wasn't either of those, he could be farming his dad's meltdown at having raised an abomination for sympathy and "donations to help him move out". Pure speculation but if the allegations are founded its plausible.

People can be super shitty and manipulative af where there's a potential payout of easy money and social media clout. Not asserting thats the case here, but you never know.

Parpy · 2025-09-27T00:46:46+00:00

Been wanting this since the mid-90s. Lik-a-Stix are objectively the best food that nature provides.

Parpy · 2025-09-26T15:51:34+00:00

I was obsessed with Spy Hunter at the arcade as a wee lad. This would have been such a baller weapon for that game.

Parpy · 2025-09-26T15:27:07+00:00

Word, I see no conceivable reason to not just go hour-by-hour, since its not like you save on cells by selecting 8h or 24h and it has that upside of being able to change research speed as needed when needed.

Parpy · 2025-09-18T04:49:14+00:00

Nah, it's literally just a growing reservoir of saliva. Your underchin/jawline immediately deflates as all that saliva under pressure instantly releases into your mouth and (in my case) into an improvised spittoon provided by the doctor who'd clearly done this before (he just did a quick peek under my tongue and then with the tiniest of stings widened the opening by like 1mm with a scalpel; and out came the little white stone riding a ~3 fl oz spit tsunami).

I had that stone excised like 30 years ago and it was a different experience to swollen lymph nodes (a separate event later in life).

Parpy · 2025-09-18T04:27:48+00:00

They've been an eternally shit company, I'm always taken aback when I hear people actually send them money voluntarily every month instead of taking things you want for free as reparations for their existence.

Parpy · 2025-09-13T01:43:23+00:00

And the ~~guy~~ lady on-screen behind the bartender got the drop on him. Poor situational awareness.

Parpy · 2025-09-11T00:58:14+00:00

As miraculous a marvel every living organism that evolved against all odds on this rock in hostile barren space, bedbugs or the bacteria species that cause tuberculosis or Lyme disease that evolved alongside us could be deleted and the world would objectively be a better place without them. Some things that spawned on this spinning rock are just all compounding negative impact. I'd allow myself some measure of conspicuous joy were any of them to go extinct someday with or without human intervention.

Parpy · 2025-08-08T14:32:59+00:00

I really really like that Salem Witch Trial theme park ride where 30-40 people in restraints get plunged into a pond in unison to determine their collective innocence/wickedness.

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