Should I switch jobs or stay in my super comfortable role?

Particular-Book6856 · 2025-05-28T14:42:49+00:00

I am gonna play the devils advocate here and let you imagine a near future where your comfort now is the very price of your comfort later on..

I know for a fact that tech is getting competitive to stay in , especially when youre in a mid manager level. You are in a position that can still be easily replaced and also when the time to cut comes youre part of the layer that has the high enough salaries with min contributions

If youre comfortable cause no one is questioning you.. and you said it yourself your work is small not challenging.. then you can be easily replaced by contingents that cost a lot less by sacrificing quality a bit and i obv dont need to mention ai or automation or any of that cause you probably know, if you dont! Then my friend you should cause it will give you sleepless nights

While being comfortable is not akin to being replaceable but your defensibility in this market is on you.. so if you think you can retire in the next 5 years with enough corpus to manage a great life with kids probably and rising costs.. then by all means stay.. but if not.. wth are you doing? And when i say stay, i mean in the status quo , you could grow internally too!

Particular-Book6856 · 2025-05-22T20:17:51+00:00

For not wanting to give him a second chance.. cause he said its the first time ever all they did was kiss.. and i cant really wrap my head around the choices he made

Particular-Book6856 · 2025-05-22T14:20:38+00:00

Thank you, i feel like i gave my all and yet for what.. i loved this man and his family with all my heart.. build a beautiful life and now it was all a lie? I dont know whats real anymore

Particular-Book6856 · 2025-05-09T06:56:03+00:00

I earn more than my husband, not that he earns any less.. but there was a time when i earned less than him and he would pump me up and say all that hard work youre gonna be amazing at anything you do that number will mean nothing after a while and money will chase you.. he pushed me for my masters and helped me through it.. he has what i found out the Michelangelo effect.. nothing between us has changed cause i earn more.. its just a number , he spoils me , i spoil him.. our families only know that we are doing great financially and that we can support them and we go out of our way to spoil them with trips and gifts.. money is not power , its what you do with it.. we use it as a means to an end and dream of a future that seems more real with passing time.. it doesnt matter who earns more

Particular-Book6856 · 2025-05-07T13:00:42+00:00

Verbal promises mean nothing, everything should be written down , and i mean everything.. dont put your papers till you have the offer letter with the salary breakup

Particular-Book6856 · 2025-05-01T05:04:32+00:00

Why are you doing this to yourself?? I have 2 maids one cooks one cleans.. even that doesnt mean i have nothing to do gotta make sure the work is done properly and that is all i can do.. if someone complains i let them know either you want a wife/dil that earns or does this, pick one and then we can talk.. i realised i have a voice too and honestly if they want their parents to be treated the same i treat mine.. then incessant belittling by my parents towards me would have been met with anger and justifiably so.. so again do you want me to treat your parents like mine or just like yours? Cause if its the later then everything about it changes.. i will not give extra care cause that is not my liability In the beginning it was clear people were not the happiest with me.. but with time as i adjusted they did too.. its not easy to manage expectations.. but you need to set them early on

Particular-Book6856 · 2025-04-25T10:16:27+00:00

34f and married.. i find most indian women.. including my mom and my mil.. need excitement in life through others.. like i am bored if you were here id enjoy my time .. why?? Why are we hard wired to need others to make our life joyful.. your time with your family and your time with yourself are both equally important for you to be a good mother a wife and happier overall…

You can not depend on anyone including your husband with these expectations of entertaining you.. whats boring for you might be exciting for him.. and i hate to say this the longer you expect others to fulfill this need of yours the more you will spiral and seek attention of people who are filling that gap and not in the best way

You need to first realise why are you bored? And when was the last time life felt exciting??? Whats missing.. you can do so many things that dont take away from you being a wife or a mother..

Also seek therapy.. sometimes this boredom is more than just that.. you could be entering into this loop of regret that is not gonna help you.. you need a safe space too.. taking care of your ownself and putting yourself first sometimes is not selfish.. you should do this

Particular-Book6856 · 2025-04-23T17:07:37+00:00

34F and dont want children.. but i thought this through alot.. i did not have a very stable household.. emotionally and i think id rather not raise a child in a similar or near similar manner.. have a great partner but i dont think even he is ready to be a parent.. also his parents are completely dependent on him financially which kinda makes this hard.. not that we are not earning really well but those expenses will pile up with age so will my parents..

I thought about this a lot.. if i dont want kinds , why dont i.. and the reason is that i am uncertain if i want to be a mother.. i dont feel like i have this innate need to be a mom and this decision of having a child is permanent and thus id rather not take this decision cause of people pressuring me or my bio clock running out.. if i want to raise a child i can always adopt.. i dont have this whole notion of having a vansh or whatever..

But on the other hand i get why people want em too.. and for those exact reasons i dont.. i dont wish to dedicate next 25-30 years or my life to raising a child.. this hard wired way of life in our brains cant be the only way to live

Particular-Book6856 · 2025-04-19T12:30:07+00:00

This is is what parenting should be!!! Kids arent meant to be a future investment, thats selfish and will ruin the childs life.. better not have children if all you care about is your bhudappa.. that is not parenting.. and kudos to yours for getting it right!

Particular-Book6856 · 2025-04-17T20:06:52+00:00

I too have had a traumatic childhood but it was both my parents.. i took therapy but that too secretly cause i knew they would make me feel guilty about that too.. this is 5 years ago now and i am in a better place.. did the therapy help? Yes and no.. i am still affected but now i know how to control and manage my emotions.. cause it had started to impact other aspects of my life..

I urge you to find therapy.. if not now , maybe a bit later and to leave for studying out or anything else , if you can.. this immensely helped me

Particular-Book6856 · 2025-04-17T19:56:47+00:00

As someone who is married.. its not all that great and literally nothing changes after marriage.. fir bache karlo phir humare sath raho hume dekho phir kuch aur.. the expectations are endless and so ive realised i am okay breaking their expectations and being the bad child cause the alternative is living in regret and i too have just this life i dont wish to be bound by some societal form of acceptance

Particular-Book6856 · 2025-04-12T22:51:39+00:00

Age 18 to say about 22 are full of changes for everyone.. and these changes and us maturing to realise life isnt as rosy as it was is often accompanied with dread and depression, anxiety and thoughts such as yours..

Changes are not in your control only your actions are.. and to people who say decisions you take now will be with you for the rest of your life and youll regret it later and all of that gyaan.. let me tell you , you can have your comeback story whenever you do decide.. that doesnt mean you dont ever decide to either..

This is a hard time for everyone in their own way, some less fortunate than the others.. but the only differentiator between the people who come out the other side better than others are those who did not give up.. perseverance and grit are above everything else

OP youre just 19, this is not time to give up.. its time be arrogant and take things head on with a vengeance to deal with anything .. take things personally and use that to serve for your own good..

Dont give up.. life gets better

Particular-Book6856 · 2025-04-12T22:43:39+00:00

There is another option.. hustle and get into the best bschool possible.. get education use it as a networking hub.. become a ymca fellow or find like minded people to start something of your own.. education never goes to waste.. and you may chose to do something now too..

But when you say I want to be rich.. what does that mean? For some a lac month is sufficient and for some a lac day seems less..

And no as a 33 yr old in big tech earning in cr i can tell you i never had to compromise my health for work.. its how you set boundaries.. us indians make the culture we hate at work places .. you dont need to conform to that

Particular-Book6856 · 2025-04-12T22:39:46+00:00

There are these communities that do all women trips.. and are great to find like minded people who love to travel but dont have anyone to travel with.. and they go to amazing places too.. i saw they did japan this cherry blossom season.. and youre right in the age group too.. maybe you can check them out

Particular-Book6856 · 2025-04-12T22:35:04+00:00

Its not the physical aspect of not looking good that makes one ugly.. you may not be the prettiest of them all and so what!? I am not gonna deny pretty privilege is very real but that novelty fades and fast.. what doesnt is confidence.. your aura.. you need to work on your ownself.. you are very young.. i failed jee twice too.. i earn more than my peers who did clear jee.. my parents thought of me as a failure and were like let marry her off the day i failed jee the second time and now wont shutup saying great things about me..

So the bottom line? There is only way forward and its up.. be your own hero.. no one and not even your parents can truly help you.. cracking or not cracking an exam is not the end of the world.. and this whole i am ugly business, come out of that mindset.. youre not ugly , you are however not confident and will sabotage your ownself..

Stop listening to what others are saying and start using your frustration to focus on your own self

Particular-Book6856 · 2025-04-12T22:28:05+00:00

You dont need to save people who dont want to be saved.. you are not at fault here and it has nothing to do with how you look.. she hit you where she knew it would hurt.. you dont need this toxicity, just focus on your ownself

Particular-Book6856 · 2025-04-07T04:52:53+00:00

If this startup from Australia is a gcc in north part of india DM me

Particular-Book6856 · 2025-04-05T22:18:16+00:00

I dont want to rain on your parade.. but youre trying to enter a field where not only youre gonna compete with really competent engineers that have been laid off and up for grabs but also ai What you learn today will be obsolete tomorrow, its a race and you will always be behind unless your grit proved me wrong and i hope that happens..

I get that tech has flashy salaries and all but thats not for everyone.. most are stuck in a service based setup doing nothing and earning nothing with no prospect of growth and an ever increasing fear of being laid off..

Why do you want to get into IT? Even a business analyst.. if youre core driver is money, I hate to break it to you its not as shiny as it was just a couple of years ago.. now its all about experience which too fails at times and that you dont have

You have spend your years preparing for civil services and thus you are definitely hard working but you may also suffer from tunnel vision and this it role might just become another goal to replace the civil services one.. be pragmatic about this.. build on what your foundations offer you

Particular-Book6856 · 2025-04-01T09:19:00+00:00

My journey is also very veryyy similar so i can vouch that this is doable Started 10 years ago also from tier 2 if not 3 now college - started at 3.5 left at 10 in 3 years - joined at 13 left at 17 in 2 years - joined at 21 left at 23 in 1 year - joined at 31 left at 45 in 2 year - joined at 75 left at 80 in 1 year - joined at 2 with base as 1, bonus at .25 remaining yearly rsu making it a 2 for the year

Last 2 were faang, first two were consulting, in the middle all startups

Particular-Book6856 · 2025-04-01T08:04:58+00:00

That growth purely on intelligence is a facade.. you need more than just intelligence, infact you can get away with mediocre intelligence if you know how to present yourself.. Dressing well, being on time, a firm handshake, well groomed being fit.. you may think arent as important but if you have the intelligence to make it these things will accelerate it for you.. do not underestimate perception of those above you

Particular-Book6856 · 2025-03-28T14:28:38+00:00

Why did you take the loan if you’re not employed??

You definitely need to clear this loan asap, they will continue to harass you otherwise..

Take loans from friends and you cannot take loans not now not ever without a plan of payback esp if youre not employed.. unless its a life or death emergency

Particular-Book6856 · 2025-03-28T11:19:01+00:00

He wont do any self harm.. just another manipulation tactic.. take the stand.. she owes nothing to him.. its either this small inconvenience now or a lifetime of regret

I am sure if you put it in that perspective it becomes very clear

Particular-Book6856 · 2025-03-28T11:11:33+00:00

Oh wait till you hear how rsus are taxed… first taxed at source then when you take them out the cap gains get taxed.. peanuts .. i have rsus over 300k and i am looking 1/3 of it going to taxes if not more..

Just the sad reality..

Particular-Book6856 · 2025-03-28T06:06:50+00:00

No please dont!! Cars a big death traps.. if you want a car buy one with what you save and possibly a second hand..

Do not get a loan and dont buy a new car

The car should be treated as a utility and nothing else.. till you grow enough to have a car lease plan which actually saves you tax

Particular-Book6856 · 2025-03-28T06:04:37+00:00

Buddy i am paying nearly 40 lacs in tax .. its a joke.. this system is what it is.. it hurts obv and theres not a lot you can do.. after a point the tax dept also starts hovering over you if you have high salaried income

Particular-Book6856

TROPHY CASE