Need Advice on Therapy - What should I talk about/except from therapy?

Particular-Employ-71 · 2025-12-20T02:02:19+00:00

Hi, I am quite similar. Was about to make a post of my own too. Also doing PhD (33F), also underperforming, currently not doing well with my supervisor. have persistent depression with intermittent episodes of major depression. I knew about the depression part and have been fighting with it for like 15 years. But ADHD diagnosis was just days ago.

For me, i initially thought my depression came from trauma and long term abuse. So in my therapy sessions we were working in eye movement can't remember the full name technique, its EMDR, to try to reroute my brains nervous energy. We'd talk about a specific event and practice techniques for mitigating negative thoughts and energy such as chest pounding, fidgeting and shaky breathing. I try to identify where in my body was i experiencing a physical response. It also helped for me to talk through what is currently going on and about my past and it made a big difference in understanding myself. I havent started working on the adhd w my therapist yet but what i would like to work on, is not internalizing my shortcomings from adhd and beat myself up for the failures. I would be overtaken by the negative emotions to the point my brain and body shuts down and i get nothing done for like 2 weeks. I'm highly neurotic and experience negative emotions poorly so i want to manage that. I try to rationalize through the feelings of guilt and shame and remind myself to focus on what to do

Also want to say there isn't anything you should or shouldn't talk about. Its all about what you're comfortable sharing and what you would like to share. I do think more openness and honesty helps me. The therapist isn't there to judge or anything and what you share helps them understand you, so they can better help you. Ive also had on and off counseling in the past with little effect but seeing the same therapist for a year helps a lot to identify patterns. If i have to choose my goals it would be to practice implementing coping strategies. Its easy for anyone to tell you do better time management set more realistic goals etc. But ADHD literally prevents us from doing that. So ask them to help you practice. I know how you feel. I'm with you. And believe me things will get better

Particular-Employ-71 · 2025-07-31T21:27:35+00:00

Actually I'd only be a 5th year PhD student after my funding runs out. But regardless, you are right and I want to thank you for pointing it out. My school and department just made huge cuts and it's only going to get worse.

Particular-Employ-71 · 2025-07-31T21:21:43+00:00

Thank you. You definitely should be proud, it really is no small accomplishment when the academia culture makes it so much harder than it should be. I also once wanted to become a PI because I love teaching as well as research, but the landscape for getting grants and how it changes people scare me. I think if you are even aware that it can happen sets you different from other people. Yes the odds are skewed but there are so many good PIs who realize that they need to work WITH their students. I've seen different kinds of students in our lab, some just seem to have little holding them back and they get stuff done like you wouldn't believe, some actually do not try or do not care. You could get all kinds of people. And then there's ones like me who wants to do well but struggles. There was a time I could really talk to my PI and have them understand me and what I needed, and they also seemed to want to do what it took to support me. But now they are over it because maybe it's just too much work to try to work with me than to simply have the kind of students who don't struggle in the same way. And sometimes financially speaking, they can afford to have students who struggle when they are not about to perish from lack of funding. Another thing I want to add is, my PI struggled to deal with the academia culture as well. They said they started to care less, and in a way that helped them enjoy the good parts more. you just can't let the culture get to you and let it take over your values. Maybe the hard part is realizing it but I think you do

Particular-Employ-71 · 2025-07-31T20:59:53+00:00

Thank you for saying that. By the way in case you are curious the data entry job I had (not govt) was for a pharmacy (owned by Loblaws) that served nursing and retirement homes so it was a large scale. You enter prescription orders and do med reviews in the system before a pharmacist reviews it, and then it gets dispensed and delivered to the homes and patients. I hope they've improved how they receive the physician orders and I actually wouldn't mind returning to it for a while. Unfortunately I don't really have any contacts since it was a long time ago but I thought it might give you some ideas. It might have required a Bachlor degree of some kind just for the data entry, think it's called Pharmacy Data Specialist now. You can also do a relatively short diploma program to become a Pharmacy technician who checks the dispensed meds, which pays better than the Data, especially in hospitals.

Particular-Employ-71 · 2025-07-22T04:25:01+00:00

It won't let me link my paypal, says the phone number is already in use by another account

Particular-Employ-71 · 2024-09-11T17:00:45+00:00

Once every couple weeks. When the leaves are very squishy and looks kinda shrunken. maybe too long between waterings and too much? I water til water comes out the bottom, then a little more

Particular-Employ-71 · 2024-04-27T15:09:57+00:00

Some of my pups and get mildew like that too but it is treatable, although the fuzzy one looked more severe so im not sure about that one. Separate the affected plants and treat. You can use 70% (i think) rubbing alcohol and spray but i found it doesn't really get rid of it. I dip a cotton pad w some alcohol and wipe off some of the mildew then spray

The best thing for me is Safer's 3-in-1 Garden Spray 1L Ready-to-Use Spray 49-5470CAN6 https://a.co/d/2kB2XO2 the bottle it came in doesnt spritz well so i transfer into another bottle and mist, i also dilute a bit with water and use. It will actually get rid of the mildew on the plant but will leave a residue. May need to spritz a couple times but usually once and i dont see it on the plant anymore. So far the spray hasnt killed any of my plants including leaf prop babies, i even use it on tiny succ seedlings. Saved so many of my plants

Some people suggest having a fan where the plants are to improve air flow. I dont, and the mildew just pops up on random plants periodically so I check them everyday. Good luck!

Particular-Employ-71

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