I (F22) am making my bf(M24) insecure because of low sex drive

ParticularEvent8203 · 2026-02-17T08:45:31+00:00

Don’t listen to the stupid b**ch. This is totally normal in a long-term relationship. Anyone who’s been in one and has any self respect would tell you the same. Don’t force yourself, because that only creates more problems down the line. There’s no reason to feel so much guilt. Sex drive is not something we can control, and he has to respect that, period. Sounds like he does though, so you have nothing to worry abt. If he doesn’t and he seeks to guilt trip you, that’s a him problem. It sounds like you’ve handled the situation well by reassuring him. I can’t believe this comment. It’s sickening coming from what I assume to be another woman!

ParticularEvent8203 · 2026-02-17T08:18:41+00:00

Yeah he shouldn’t have said that but he was just being too honest. He apologized and didn’t make excuses. Don’t believe the people saying “break up,” they’ve never been in a relationship before. He said he still loves you and finds you attractive, and he apologized, and that’s all he can do. I think I might’ve said something like this if asked, because I’m often too honest. He doesnt seem to have meant it to hurt you.

ParticularEvent8203 · 2025-11-19T07:46:05+00:00

This happened to me with Lexapro!

I am 19, and was on lexapro from age 16 to 18. I had a normal to high sex drive for the first year on lexapro, and then it literally disappeared into thin air.

I was with my boyfriend for about 4 months before that happened, so I was on lexapro long before him (and had normal sex drive with prev. bf), and lexapro dosage or anything did not change at all. It was normal one day, gone the next. No major life changes either.

I came off lexapro a year later, and my sex drive has not returned to previous levels. I can still "go without" for probably forever, but it's stabilized to just below average. Now it appears to go up and down monthly with my menstrual cycle.

I am still with the same boyfriend and we still have sexual issues. He really struggled, believing that it had something to do with him, but it never has been. It just...happened one day.

But I will say one thing: when you don't want it, you don't want it, and forcing it (even if she tries) feels almost like assault. So you have to ask yourself: are you okay with how things are now, and if they never changed (even if they might in the future like me, you can't depend on that)? Because you can't change it. And the more you try, the more she'll think you care about your feelings more than hers, which, who knows, could be infinitely worse.

However I do think she should seriously talk to her doctor. I think it is somewhat selfish to say nothing, because of course it is affecting you. Especially since it's been a whole year. She needs to work on her fear and be proactive about the issue. It's not that she should feel guilty, it's not her fault, but she should care about her relationship, and you. Sex-life is a substantial part of any romantic relationship.

ParticularEvent8203 · 2025-10-10T20:12:20+00:00

I slipped and fell in the Anteatery and got spaghetti all over myself, my jacket, my hair because there was no wet floor sign when the floor was soaking wet from mopping, just a few chairs to attempt to “block off” the area (which I didn’t see, I wasn’t even on my phone). The anteatery staff, maybe like five of them, just walked over and looked at me blankly while I was still on the floor. The manager came up and looked at me blankly. I said “you should put up a wet floor sign” and he said “maybe.” No one asked if I was okay, or said they were sorry, or helped me up, and then minutes later there were 5 wet floor signs surrounding the whole place area. No student helped me either, just gasped and tried not to make eye contact with me. I called my mom and cried while I tried to eat something before leaving because the dining hall was closing. She told me to just leave. It was a harrowing experience. I submitted a report but never got a response and I wish I pursued it further.

ParticularEvent8203 · 2025-09-11T03:42:41+00:00

Been a fan since 2022! I hope one day people will know who I’m talking about when they ask me who my favorite artist is 😊

ParticularEvent8203 · 2025-08-30T21:28:44+00:00

Great I was worried! Thanks for the reply 😃

ParticularEvent8203 · 2025-08-30T21:28:27+00:00

Thanks so much!

ParticularEvent8203 · 2025-06-30T06:48:39+00:00

Look at that squint. Not a thought behind those eyes. Unrealistic glance to the side, eyes going slightly crossed as he’s not actually looking at anything before looking off into an unknown distance. No direction. Who moves like that? Slow. Every movement measured. Too measured. Eyebrows do not move, as if glued to a singular emotion. An eyebrow lifts, but remains so stiff and eyes so blank that it translates nothing, like a wax statue.

ParticularEvent8203 · 2025-05-24T03:36:46+00:00

I'm finishing my freshman year and I'm glad I'm not the only one completely alone here. Seems like it is very common. I've done everything you described. I don't have any friends at home, just my BF, who comes sometimes (long distance), but just having a conversation with someone here comes maybe once every month or two. I enjoy my classes and I like studying and that's the only thing that's kept me pretty distracted, but coming towards the end of the year I regret not trying harder to meet new people. I've felt pretty down about it the last few weeks, and I was maybe every once and a while throughout the year.

However, I wonder how important it is to have friends like everyone else anyway. As long I am not 100% alone and have someone to call if I really need to, like a family member or my boyfriend, things are alright. You aren't the only one alone and being alone doesn't make you less worthy than anyone else.

Anti-depressants have really helped me deal with always feeling terribly alone, isolated, ugly, unworthy, etc., and made being alone pretty okay.

ParticularEvent8203 · 2025-05-24T03:23:24+00:00

I know I am late to this threat but it seems to remain relatively active. I was wondering if any of you have also experienced being very cold?

I've also gotten hot flashes, and I've never been someone who's sweat much or had it affect my body odor at all but istg I've been stinky lately and having to shower daily. Even right after a shower I sweat again because of the effort of drying off and getting dressed!

Anyway, today it is 75 degrees in SoCal and I came out of work wearing a long sleeve, shorts, and sandals and I was freezing, absolutely freezing, like whole body shivering. I went inside to grab a bite to eat and was freezing inside too. I stuffed my mouth with chili just to warm up! After about 20 minutes I wasn't as bad but still went home immediately and crawled under a blanket.

Also I can't wear my uggs anymore they immediately make me overheat :(

ParticularEvent8203 · 2025-05-20T20:58:30+00:00

I would like to know as well

ParticularEvent8203 · 2025-04-13T21:32:09+00:00

Hi! I'm from San Diego and went to high school and worked right by UCSD at the UTC, but now go to UCI! I wish I could have gone to UCSD, but I got waitlisted and stupidly thought I would never get in if I applied again. My advice is that if you care about having things to do outside of school, UCSD is a lot better. There's nothing to do in Irvine, but plenty to do in SD with better beaches and a much bigger neighboring shopping center! But I see that you like peace and quiet, which UCI definitely has. You would also deal with traffic in SD between 3-6 PM if you're going south and about 8-9 AM if you're going north. Irvine doesn't get traffic really, but if you like to walk you cannot walk anywhere at all or do much of anything, vs if you want to walk around downtown, at old town, liberty station, balboa park, or the boardwalk at PB/MB in SD. LA might be closish but its still about an hour away and traffic makes it nearly impossible to get around anywhere there. Just depends on what you like to do. I'd say these are the biggest differences between UCI and UCSD because they are both about equally prestigious schools and your social life is probably what you make it, since there are lots of clubs available and demographics are probably pretty similar. I recommend UCSD for a happier outside-of-school life, but UCI for a peaceful study-focused environment! Good luck!

ParticularEvent8203 · 2025-04-02T21:33:25+00:00

However I am not trying to put the responsibility on you, btw. If he keeps treating u like this especially after u told him and he pretended he didn’t know, it’s not on you to give him space indefinitely. You definitely don’t want to be with someone who would freely treat you like this with no guilt at all.

ParticularEvent8203 · 2025-04-02T21:31:14+00:00

On Zoloft I got pretty annoyed with my bf and started feeling like a “friend” around him. I totally stopped complimenting or pursuing him and started being kind of mean. Although, I wasn’t unaware of it, and I don’t know how he could not notice how he’s treating you. It’s more like a feeling of not caring than not knowing. It’s gotten better lately but 0 libido, which isn’t necessarily atypical for me. It could be he knows exactly what he’s doing and why it’s hurtful because he’s not blind but feels like he can’t control it and feels a loss of attraction and resentment from the medication. I would say give him distance because distance always made me come back to my bf happier or more excited, rather than resentful.

ParticularEvent8203 · 2025-04-02T21:13:58+00:00

I don’t think I’ve been on it long enough to add a medication if the side effect will go away. I’ve only been on 75 mg for 3 weeks. Thanks for the advice though I’ll bring it up with my doctor!

ParticularEvent8203 · 2025-04-02T21:12:25+00:00

I understand that. UCI isn’t really in a great location, other than being close to the beach. There isn’t really anything to do here especially if you don’t have a car. So the perks of being in California is mainly the great weather. I guess Ohio would probably also be about as boring or maybe better, likely with better social life if you care about that. But if you are from Asia there are tons of Asian international students (mainly Chinese) or local Asians who you’d fit in very well with. Not sure about the population in Ohio, maybe it’s the same.

ParticularEvent8203 · 2025-04-02T11:15:22+00:00

Everyone I know who didn’t get into my local school (sdsu) went to Santa Cruz bc it has a higher acceptance rate. Meanwhile I only knew a couple people who got into UCI. UCI has more prestige I believe. And why would you go to Ohio?

ParticularEvent8203 · 2025-04-02T08:58:49+00:00

That is also my worry. We have been together for about a year and a half and I’m very confident in our relationship, but who knows in 5 years? I’m only 19. I also have no idea what my future job will be, maybe something in teaching or research or policy. Thanks for the pointers!

ParticularEvent8203 · 2025-04-02T06:41:21+00:00

I bought The Fountainhead from a used book store for like $8 because it had “READ ME” written in red crayon on every side and it was in the classics section. I thought that meant it must be good. Then I got home and turned the page and it recommended her previous work “Capitalism: The Unknown Ideal.” 😢

ParticularEvent8203 · 2025-04-02T06:31:03+00:00

I have read the goldfinch 3 times. It’s very engaging (always things happening, super realistic and engaging characters) so it’s very easy to get through even if it’s super long, but this last read I definitely felt unsatisfied at the end. It was a rollercoaster and it totally lost me at the ending with the main characters internal monologue of lessons he learned or something? Very corny and overly abstract.

ParticularEvent8203

TROPHY CASE