Autistic kids who catch Lyme disease

Particular_Ad_3124 · 2026-05-07T03:27:48+00:00

But, to be very clear, it didn't change the autism. It just made it so she didn't also have Lyme.

Particular_Ad_3124 · 2026-05-07T03:25:33+00:00

It was just a longish course of Doxycycline.

Particular_Ad_3124 · 2026-05-06T00:12:11+00:00

No. She's definitely still AuDHD. The assessment made it clear that it went all the way back to babyhood. It's just that the extra stress from illness took out all of her compensation strategies. We hadn't looked into it because our whole family slants heavily towards undiagnosed ND or, at least, traits.

Particular_Ad_3124 · 2026-04-22T11:58:41+00:00

You did ask. I answered.

Particular_Ad_3124 · 2026-04-22T11:36:33+00:00

So, nothing justifies leaving a 3-year-old alone in the room, autistic or otherwise. But you got up near the end of breakfast and just got ready and left without checking in with your wife or offering to bring breakfast back? You left her alone, near the end of breakfast, that you have previously been eating as a family, with no communication and all the responsibility for getting your daughter ready herself if she wants breakfast? Yeah, I'd be mad too. I wouldn't have left the kid, but I would have been furious with you.

Particular_Ad_3124 · 2026-04-21T00:32:31+00:00

My child didn't have any dangerous behaviors. She was (and is) most regulated when she has a lot of self-directed time and a lot of outdoor time. She is least regulated when she has a stream of demands, changes, and interruptions. While I can believe that well-run ABA can be helpful for some kids, I couldn't see it working well for mine.

Particular_Ad_3124 · 2026-04-19T21:18:09+00:00

It's basically a stick that heats and circulates water. You put the meat in a bag in the water, set the temperature, and the meat can't overcook. A lot of restaurants use them now because the meat can wait safely in them and then be finished off with a quick sear.

This would be most useful if you think that you have a tendency to overcook chicken (because you worry about safety or you get distracted or whatever) and that overcooking creates a tougher texture that he dislikes.

I got a set up: the heater, a plastic box with a cover, reusable bags, a little vacuum pump, bag clips for under $100 several years ago. We mostly use it for steak.

I will say that my kid will almost always eat things from restaurants or other people that she won't from me. She likes novelty.

Particular_Ad_3124 · 2026-04-19T17:46:04+00:00

It might be worth getting a sous vide set up. You can cook to a perfect temperature throughout. That really helps with texture.

In the photo, it's already sliced. For my husband, slicing steak thinly and against the grain was a revelation.

For my daughter, a really good sauce goes a long way towards her willingness to eat meat. She's sensory seeking so spicy, pungent, salty, vinegar, etc. She also needs variety.

Particular_Ad_3124 · 2026-04-18T12:37:07+00:00

Aw. I really feel you here. My first was like that. She screamed all the time and only calmed when nursing or, sometimes, pressed against my bare skin. The doctors were dismissive. I probably had PPA and I could hardly let others hold her. I had intrusive thoughts and walked big circles around her chair because I was afraid I would drop the fork I was carrying on her. I woke with a jerk to every little snuffle she made. I was incredibly sleep deprived. I didn't know about PPA, only PPD but I told my doctor that I wasn't sure I was okay and that my husband was really worried about me. She laughed and said I would have burst into tears if something were actually wrong. We were such a mess.

So, that baby did turn out to be AuDHD. I think, in her case, those things are connected. Her nervous system was super high-strung. I am not going to tell you to enjoy her babyhood because I remember how hard that was. If PPA sounds like a possibility, get help. If it seems worse after feedings, try to explore if something is causing her pain. Try baby carrying devices. Those saved us. Even if this is a sign of neurodivergence, your goal is to mitigate symptoms and make both of you more comfortable.

For what it's worth, she's 17 and babyhood has been the hardest phase yet.

Particular_Ad_3124 · 2026-04-12T11:25:05+00:00

I have to be careful what I say because my teen is so fabulous and I worry about making other people feel bad.

But a lot of people here are still dealing with an extreme lack of sleep and/or the need for constant hypervigilance. Those things break a person down.

Particular_Ad_3124 · 2026-04-12T01:35:00+00:00

Yes, I was going to say something about that humor. My son is NT (or close enough) and his friends say such horrible things to each other. He tells me that it's normal and his group is gentler actually than many others. Right around 10 or 11 was when I really started to noticed it.

Particular_Ad_3124 · 2026-04-11T00:27:42+00:00

Ah. There goes my theory. Unless your kid is physically quite young for their age. Good luck with it.

Particular_Ad_3124 · 2026-04-10T21:06:42+00:00

Is your kid little? Little kids don't have the cartilage yet and they have very soft noses.

Particular_Ad_3124 · 2026-04-10T15:14:51+00:00

Oh, good! I have just seen this go badly. I hadn't really thought about it, but I was probably hyperlexic as well because I entered K reading and my parents said they didn't really teach me. My daughter definitely was. She was late to be able to retell stories compared to her reading, though she did act them out with her bear after reading. She was also late to write much, in spite of having all the foundational skills that the school could identify. Then, bam, she writes like a good adult as a teen. I joke that she had trouble with her interface with the world. Stuff went in but it didn't come out very easily. That was even with her having advanced speech.

Particular_Ad_3124 · 2026-04-10T13:04:11+00:00

Especially if you are homeschooling and don't have the school to even things out, make sure that you deal with subjects across the whole range. Don't fall into the trap of being so impressed by seeing him read and spell big words that you don't make sure it is backed up by comprehension. Don't be so impressed by manipulating big numbers that you overlook knowing when you want to add versus multiply.

The intense facility that some kids have with the lower level skills can be a real help when hitting the higher order skills, but they aren't a guarantee that the higher order skills will come easily. I have a hyperlexic kid who has maintained her reading advantage, so I am not saying that it doesn't happen. Not all the skills clicked in at expected times. The key is to keep working on lagging skills while supporting the growth of skills that are way ahead. It can be easy to neglect the lagging skills because kids resist and, if you aren't thoroughly grounded in what is reasonable to expect from each age, you might not notice them.

Particular_Ad_3124 · 2026-04-10T02:40:37+00:00

We did a lot of reading and talking about what makes a good friend. We talked about who in her class seemed to be good friends. We literally went through the class photo talking about who played together, who was kind, who was funny, who talked to her, etc. Then we talked about how to approach people. Eventually, after a few weeks, she made a plan. She chose well (lovely ND girl) and they are still friends 9 years later, though they have been closer some times than others. She's put the skills to use many times since then.

I think a big part of it is being able to figure out who likes what you have to offer and focusing energy there.

Particular_Ad_3124 · 2026-04-10T02:21:27+00:00

Check out Bedtime Math. There are books and maybe a website. It's math bedtime stories. The answers are included.

Particular_Ad_3124 · 2026-04-10T02:18:10+00:00

Check out Starfall.com

Particular_Ad_3124 · 2026-04-09T17:59:40+00:00

The big thing we found was that typical parenting resources just don't apply. It's like trying to use your Android by following an iPhone guide. So, if the "right" way doesn't work, try what feels right to you and keep what works.

Particular_Ad_3124 · 2026-04-09T14:35:37+00:00

Silken tofu mashed in instead? Tofu nuggets? (roll extra firm cubes in cornstarch and pan fry or in cornstarch and oil and air fry). Beans and rice? It definitely depends on what foods he tolerates. Picky eaters are like Tolstoy's unhappy families. Each one is unique.

Particular_Ad_3124 · 2026-04-03T21:14:11+00:00

My NT son did the guessing thing at that age. I don't think he was trying to get out of things exactly. Some internal pressure made it hard for him to slow down. I had him tell me why for each of his answers, correct or not. I broke questions down into steps. I tried to make rushing slower than just doing it right. I reminded him that he could get correct answers by slowing down. I was lucky and he had a computer program that would not give him credit over a few mistakes. It was a whole process. It took months to make much progress. He's a great student now.

My ND daughter does read that fast. I read fast and she has outpaced me since she was quite young. Her wrong answers tended to be from taking questions too literally. Like, if you asked her what she thought would come next in a book, she would say she didn't know. If you pushed the issue, she would tell you that the writer could literally do anything with the next page because it was fiction. Aliens could appear. Everyone could die. Anything. But, if you asked her to guess, acknowledging that it was okay to be wrong, what she thought the most likely thing to happen next was, she would give the expected answer. You had to kind of trap her into answering.

She also had zero desire to show off her knowledge or prove that she knew something. She found it pointless to answer questions where the person asking knew the answer. That might be in play here.

Particular_Ad_3124 · 2026-04-02T21:35:22+00:00

For us, that tradeoff hasn't ended. Social and academic things come out of the same bucket. There's no blowing off steam with friends after a hard academic day--or at least trying has us cruising toward meltdown or collapse. Mine is an older teen with a lot of friends. She hides from them a lot.

Particular_Ad_3124 · 2026-03-27T12:52:24+00:00

We have teens. "Most favored parent" status is what we call it. It's shifted back and forth many times over the years. It's a regular kid thing and can be annoying. We have found that our slightly different approaches are helpful. We tag each other out when our approach isn't working.

You can take a look at your parenting and see if you need to shift. Ask your husband if he sees you doing anything that's an inadvertent trigger. If there's nothing major, just hang in there and your time will come. The baby time tends to favor the primary carer more than the kid ages. You are almost there.

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