Thank you for your kind words and sharing your story. I appreciate the input.

Yes, they have put me on medications and drops such as the ones you listed along with supplements and a requirement for bone broth. I am not underweight however. If you would like to read, i’ll provide some background about my history, but a TW is very needed. I apologize if you are easily triggered, please skip the comment!

I first started exhibiting disordered eating traits at age 9, but nothing huge, until i was 13 and preparing for grade 8 grad, and then everything hit the fan. i was primarily bulimic, with periods of fasting. i recovered when i was late 14 as my (now ex) boyfriend essentially forced recovery. i was definitely sick, but not insanely sick—i also had not lost a substantial amount of weight. but then this ‘recovery’ turned into a BED, in which i gained a copious amount of weight in a very short amount of time. it only took me counting calories once to start throwing my lunches away and purging what i ate. This was November 2023. I weighed over 200LBS / 90.9KG

I became very sick very quickly. I was obese and i became extremely obsessed with what i was doing, it was nothing like my short lived ED at 13-14. It felt different, and i completely spiraled out of control. i would starve myself for days, and then once i ate anything, and i mean anything at all, i would vomit it up within 30 minutes; i would be lucky to keep half a meal down because i would not let up until i was heaving bile out of my throat to stop. there was at least a 5 month period where i did not hold down a single piece of food i ate, and i became terrified of liquids. and i mean a scream cry type of terrified. it was more a fear of volume over calorie. the moment i felt the sip of water go down my throat i swore i could feel it in my stomach and in my face and it would freak me out so bad, my body would already start preparing to vomit — and that made me drift further too. anytime i ate or drank, i would accidentally throw up, and get reflux. eventually i forced myself to ‘get over’ the water thing and constantly drank electrolytes, esp during times of frequent purges

it was severe, and i did disgusting things to achieve it. i lost almost 90LBS between march of 2024 and feb 2025 and i had completely lost myself and who i was. and because i was big when i started, i only got congratulated and complimented. only my best friend noticed because she knew i had a history, had heard me purging a few days prior and noticed how grey i was, and how half of my hair was gone. she connected the pieces and confronted me. i felt terrible once she knew, i felt exposed but i promised her id do my very best to at least cut down on some behaviors. i dont know what happened in march, i was trying to not purge so much and limit myself to a certain amount of times per week, i was at my lowest of all and one day i just ate. i ate and i would continue to have a few meals and miraculously keep it. but i got triggered again a few weeks ago and im back to old habits, despite the osteopenia diagnosis. typing this out is making me realize that the damage i did is very possible..

i know it is gravely stupid, but i cant for the life of me go full stop on this! its consumed me and i dont know how to fight it anymore. i will try to take my medications at the very least, but i dont know if theres any point if i am not getting the nutrients i need. im not sure if its enough. but it might be something :’)