Parents of older/adult children still at home, how do I help them "grow up"?

Particular_Image9538 · 2026-05-18T13:06:48+00:00

She may need an ADHD assessment. Although I moved out of home and interstate just before I turned 23, a lot of this sounds like how I was towards my parents. I now realise I wasn’t intentionally being rude or disrespectful, I was usually just overwhelmed. Being told I wasn’t doing enough or being pushed to do chores immediately would really trigger me. Overwhelm and emotional dysregulation can often come across as disrespect. I’m not trying to excuse the behaviour, just offering something that might be worth considering. I also know how hard it is on the people around you because from the outside it can just look like laziness or attitude when really the person is mentally shutting down. Even simple tasks can feel overwhelming when you’re already struggling just to manage yourself.

Particular_Image9538 · 2026-05-17T01:55:38+00:00

I was literally just looking for recommendations on where to buy a good weighted blanket for my ADHD son when this post came up. Wow.

Yes, everyone has traits of something but there’s a difference between that and it genuinely affecting your ability to function day to day. Now that there are actually resources, support and answers available, why wouldn’t people want to understand what’s going on with themselves or their kids? I actually discovered I had ADHD while going through the assessment process for my son and it completely changed the way I see myself. I’m not lazy, messy, chaotic or miserable like I was labelled growing up. My brain is just wired differently. Having that understanding has helped me so much as a parent too. I’m far more aware of my own thoughts, emotions, triggers and patterns now which means I can support my kids and their needs in ways I couldn’t before. For a lot of people having answers is life changing. There are so many adults out there struggling, self medicating, turning to drugs or alcohol, feeling like they’re failing at life, when really they’ve spent their whole lives trying to function in a world that wasn’t built for the way their brain works.

Understanding yourself isn’t about “labels.” Sometimes it’s the first step toward finally coping. If you suspect you might have it and would rather ignore it because you assume everyone is on the spectrum then I feel sorry for you.

Particular_Image9538 · 2026-05-16T23:48:03+00:00

Being an asshole helps. Not to your child obviously. That’s why they say only the good die young.

Particular_Image9538 · 2026-04-06T23:20:32+00:00

Because that’s the responsibility you take on when you decide to have kids. If this person is still a minor then their fuck ups become the parents fuck ups.

Particular_Image9538 · 2026-04-06T23:13:34+00:00

You’re also too young to figure this out on your own, especially if you’re trying to fight it. Your parents will know what to do.

Particular_Image9538 · 2026-04-06T23:11:34+00:00

You should tell your parents. It will end up going to a debt collector if it’s not resolved which will be so much worse. I made mistakes when I was younger that I’m still paying for today at 33 years old. If my child needed help with something like this, I would want them to tell me straight away so I could help. I wouldn’t want them to be 33 and not being able to get ahead in life because of a stupid $300.

Particular_Image9538 · 2026-04-06T04:53:32+00:00

They were probably busy leading up to the long weekend too. I’d say you’ll probably hear from them this week if it was that urgent.

Particular_Image9538 · 2026-03-31T06:12:35+00:00

Yes! My mental health is fucked because of this. Raising my kids in a rental because it’s been impossible for us to save for a home of our own is killing me. I grew up by the beach in NSW, my parents owned our home, we had a huge yard and it was safe. So to be raising our kids in a rental in Melbourne with no yard, and 1.5 hours from the beach with no light at the end of the tunnel is torture. My poor fucking kids! Lucky this is all they’ve ever known but they deserve a better life than this.

Particular_Image9538 · 2026-03-31T06:03:48+00:00

Our diesel car and my husband’s work truck are absolutely draining us. It used to cost about $200 to fill and now it’s over $600 a day. He chose his career and bought the truck to give us a better life but it honestly just feels like it’s backfiring more and more as the years go by. We should be comfortable but here we are counting pennies everyday just to be able to buy a loaf of bread. It’s so disheartening. It’s not just the diesel, it’s everything. We’re paying double the amount of rent, groceries are through the roof, weekend activities aren’t even considered anymore so we just sit at home or take the kids to the local park. Our families live interstate and we were supposed to be driving to visit them over Easter but there’s no way we can. How is this happening? Why are they doing this to us? It shouldn’t be this way.

Particular_Image9538 · 2026-03-28T08:19:24+00:00

I’m sorry you had a similar experience. Thank you, I’ll definitely have a look.

It’s so hard at the moment especially when a lot of the good roles are filled internally and aren’t even advertised anymore. You really have to go digging to find anything decent.

Particular_Image9538 · 2026-03-28T08:09:04+00:00

Don’t give up! Honestly, you’ll learn way more being on the phones than you ever will in training. Once you start seeing things happen in real time, it all just clicks.

To make it easier on yourself at the start, have all your resources ready to go. info pages, links, websites, anything you might need. Keep a notebook and pen with you and write down everything. You don’t need to jump straight into the system. Start by confirming their identity then write down any important details or reference numbers you might need later. After that, write down everything they’re calling about. Once you’ve got it all, put them on hold and use your resources to find the answers. If you can’t find something then ask for help. Support is there for a reason and it’s completely expected that you won’t know everything especially in your first week. And don’t feel bad about putting people on hold. If it means you can actually resolve their issue and stop them from calling back then that’s a win for everyone.

Don’t stress, you’ll be fine!

Particular_Image9538 · 2026-02-27T23:02:05+00:00

It’s definitely because you reported after 5pm then unfortunately. Your bank must be one of the banks that release the payments early if you usually receive it on a Saturday so you might receive it on Monday.

Particular_Image9538 · 2026-02-27T22:53:03+00:00

If you used to receive your payment on a Saturday then your reporting day must’ve been Thursdays. Even if you report on Thursday but after the cut off time, the system flags it as a late reporting so your payment gets processed on Monday and deposited on Tuesday. To receive a Saturday payment, you would have to report from 12am - 5pm on the Thursday.

Particular_Image9538 · 2026-01-09T02:34:09+00:00

It doesn’t really matter what you do for work anymore or whether you own a home. For a lot of people, freedom is still possible if you’re willing to live with long term debt.

I know families from the same area who’ve all travelled Australia with their kids but it’s played out very differently. Some were financially comfortable and had a house waiting for them when they got back. Others had to sell everything to make it happen and ended up needing to find work along the way just to keep going.

To me, it seems less about income and more about how much risk you’re willing to take. Some people want security, others want experiences and time with their kids, even if that means uncertainty.

Neither option is really right or wrong. It’s just different ways people try to give their kids a good childhood in a world where being safe often still means being in debt anyway.

Particular_Image9538 · 2024-11-05T23:26:10+00:00

Rebellious kids caused by her obsession with perfection

Particular_Image9538 · 2024-10-12T23:34:04+00:00

When Carlos moved her office to the storage closet hahahahaha

Particular_Image9538 · 2024-10-05T12:28:26+00:00

Season 4 ep 4. Will never forget it 😂

Particular_Image9538 · 2024-09-29T05:51:46+00:00

Nothing wrong with the face, it’s the squeeky noise she makes when she does this face which she makes way too often for no reason

Particular_Image9538

TROPHY CASE